One person is saying 'I love you'.
Sometimes it leads to the end of relationships.
Hi everyone! It's Yukari.
Today with Stu-san,
I'm gonna talk about 3 ways to use 'I love you.'
So Stu-san, what's the 3 ways to say 'I love you?'
S: The most important way the one that everybody knows
is when you say 'I love you' to your romantic partner.
so maybe your husband or your wife.
Y: Or girlfriend or boyfriend? S: Yeah, and girlfriend and boyfriend of course.
And the other way, the second way
is when you say 'I love you' to your family members.
And then there is a third way and this is a much more casual way of doing it
where it's not not quite so serious or when you say it to your friends.
Y: Friends. So how do you use it? Like...
When you really want to drink coffee and then
at that moment your friend showed up with the coffee for you and you said 'I love you?'
S: Yeah, it's a really good example.
So somebody gives you something that you're happy about it.
You say 'Oh I love you. Thank you so much. I love you!'
And you know, it's not serious like saying it to your family or your wife or your husband.
But what you're saying is, you know, thank you so much. I think you're really cool.
You're a great friend to me like you're an awesome person.
That's the meaning of that one.
Y: Okay. Before I watched in a TV show,
two girls said I love you in quite a serious situation.
SO you use like that as well?
S: Yeah, so it's another example of using 'I love you' for a friend
but now it's not a joke it's not fun so much anymore.
It's showing that you have sincere appreciation
and you're showing support for that person.
I mean you're saying they're a nice person they're a great person.
But also you're what you're trying to say to them is that
they are very special to you. They are very important to you.
and that you will definitely definitely support them.
They trust you. That's really the meaning of love. They can trust you.
That's similar to the second way that
Y: Family members? S: Yeah, the way we say 'I love you'...
Y: Because in Japan we don't say like 'I love you'
or even 'I like you' to family members I guess.
I think mommy or daddy says to small small babies,
small children but like if we are grown up,
we don't say anything I think.
So it's quite interesting for us.
S: I mean it's a little bit strange to think about because it's so normal
for Canadian families for American families to say 'I love you' to family members.
It's normally used sort of when you're saying goodbye to somebody.
So maybe when you're signing off from an email or
you're saying goodbye on the phone. Something like that.
Or they're about going on a trip on a plane at the airport and you say there maybe.
So I guess it's a little bit like saying goodbye
but the meaning is
it's a reminder that that you guys are a family.
That it's saying that you are different to everybody else in the world to me.
We are a group together. We're a family.
And therefore we love each other. We will protect each other.
We trust each other.
Y: So do you say 'I love you' to your dad or your brother as well, right?
S: Yeah, you know, I mean guys are guys.
So it's less often you say to your father. Y: Okay, to your mom.
but you know I say 'I love you' to my mom all the time
whenever I speak to her. I say 'I love you.'
So it's very common to say, you know, to your mom.
But I say often to my to my dad and my brother and my sister as well.
It's just it is a normal expression to show that you appreciate your family.
Y: I think it's a good thing to say like 'I love you' to your family members.
S: Yeah yeah. It's definitely...
it helps the family I think to feel strong together.
Y: I think so. And not only english-speaking countries saying 'I love you'.
I think some Filipino people or like Indian people.
Many people from other countries says 'I love you' so often.
And I feel they unite really strongly.
Than Japanese families. So I think it's quite important to say like 'I love you'.
I mean language is important for
helping people to feel good to each other.
So saying it or showing it in some way is quite important.
Y: So the last one is...
Y: to a partner? S: Yeah, the last way of course
and the most important the one that most people will know
is to say 'I love you' to the person that you are in a relationship with
like your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your wife or your husband or whatever in situations.
Y: I didn't know the importance to say 'I love you' to the partner for the first time
in their relationship.
After we started dating I said 'I love you' quite early
and then I didn't know what was wrong.
But after that I knew that people should say 'I love you'
when they feel like it's really a serious relationship.
S: Yup Yup.
Y: So we shouldn't say, not shouldn't but like
not many people say in the early time in their relationship
S: Yeah it's....
what it is is that... it's telling the other person
that you take the relationship seriously now.
It's like it's not just like okay I'm learning about you.
It's now okay I have learned about you.
I have I know that I like you a lot.
and that now I am committed and I'm taking this relationship seriously.
'I love you'
Y: So what does serious mean you think?
S: Oh... It's a difficult question...
I think that when you first meet somebody
and there's something about them and you think it's really interesting.
You want to learn more about them.
Y: At that moment what should you say like to show your feelings to that person?
S: So that's like saying 'I like you.'
Y: 'I like you.' That's the first...
S: Yeah and that kind of means that I'm interested.
Y: Start dating and then you say 'I like you'.
S: Yeah yeah exactly.
Like after, you know, a little while you know what? I like this. I like you.
This is great I'm enjoying myself.
And then after that you know it's this kind of this middle stage
where you've been dating for a little while and now, you, the expression is
'I really like you'
And what this is saying is like maybe I'm falling in love with you.
Like I don't love you yet but almost.
Like that's what that kind of means just like...
Y: In the middle... S: Oh yeah I'm almost ready to take this really seriously
but I'm not quite sure not just yet but almost.
That's 'I really like you'.
And then after that most of the time you know you've decided or, you know, the feeling comes up.
It's serious. it's really important to you.
You decide that you like dating this person maybe there's a future for you with them.
So 'I love you'.
And that, you know, I mean it's hard to describe it's a feeling.
So it's not I mean most people probably understand what that feeling is.
But when that feeling goes babang "hello". That's when you say it.
Y: So I watched in that in another TV show
the woman like booked a hotel and she made super special occasion
to say 'I love you'. I think that's too much but
S: Yeah maybe it's too much.
Y: But some people do that? They have a kind of special situation
and then say 'I love you'?
S: Yeah, I mean if you think about like marriage when people get married
so they go to a church or somewhere and they sign a piece of paper.
It's a big change in the relationship. You say okay.
Before you were not married now we are married. It's a big difference.
Same thing with before I say 'I love you' and after I say 'I love you'.
It's like... the status of the relationship has now changed.
It's now changed from not serious to serious.
And like I say and that's not a rule it's just an example.
That's just how it is most of the time in Canadian society.
Y: What if one person says 'I love you' and
then the another partner doesn't feel the same way?
S: Yeah, that's difficult situation.
I think that it's something that, you know, it's a test of the relationship.
Really. It's that one person is saying 'I love you'.
You have to be brave to say it.
Because you're saying I want to be more serious.
Y: Like one person might feel 'oh this is just just dating just having fun.'
'I don't want to think about it seriously...'
S: Like and then the other person says 'I love you', yeah.
So you know, it's sometimes it, it leads to the end of relationships.
Because it shows that one person is taking it very seriously or has an idea
and the other person maybe doesn't have that idea.
And that's another reason that people say I love you is to test the relationship
like do you take it seriously? Oh you don't take it seriously... Oh dear.
Maybe it's done. You know, maybe it's finished.
Y: oh that's so sad...
Then if you have that kind of situation, what do you say?
Just you don't say anything?
S: There's a very funny scene from a TV show called 'Friends'
which is a good show if you want to watch something with like
good conversational English. It's good for practicing your English and listening to
because it's about six friends.
One character says 'I love you' to another character
and she says 'thank you'.
And it's a big joke because it's you shouldn't say 'thank you' to.
Y: No? S: Well... because it's like if somebody gets you a coffee, you say 'thank you', right?
And if they say 'I love you', it's a big meaning.
It's like it's basically saying 'I'm ignoring that.'
That is difficult. Maybe you just don't say anything. I don't know...
So our three sort of situations or examples for how to say 'I love you'
are sort of casually to friends. Like as a way to say you know
You're great. I appreciate you. I love you.
Also to your family members to say you know you're a group you're together.
You're protecting each other and trusting each other. Love your family.
And then to your romantic partner which is when you're saying
I take our relationship seriously and it's super important to me.
Y: You have to be careful how to use 'I love you'
especially to your partner.
S: Yeah, it said it it's a word that has a lot of meaning. It really is.
it's a difficult word to understand and to use effectively.
Everybody uses it differently. It's hard.
So be careful.
So we talked about how to use 'I love you' today.
If you think it's helpful,
please give me a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel.
So see you in my next video.
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