Hey guys, it's me, Maggie J, finally back to making videos, and my goodness there are
so many things I have to tell you.
December and January have been full of people just dying to be featured on Florida's Finest.
I will let you know, I probably have about 45 stories here,
but because I like you, I'm not gonna make you sit through all that.
I'm gonna divide up the videos, and here is part 1 of Florida's Finest #1 for 2018
A highlight of the kind of behavior we expect out of our fellow Floridian's.
Florida Man Rigs Door To Electrocute Wife
The father of a Palm Coast woman contacted
authorities after his son-in-law made some strange statements and then apparently skipped town.
Michael Scott Wilson warned his father-in-law to keep the children away from his front door,
which is a very specific request, so the father-in-law contacted the Flagler County Sheriff.
When they arrived, they noted burn marks on the door Wilson had warned about, and when a Deputy
kicked it open, they saw a large spark.
Inside they found jumper cables hooked to the handle and the deadbolt, so anyone who
touched the metal, or completed the circuit, would be electrocuted.
Upon further investigation, Deputies discovered Wilson had stolen a gun from the father-in-law's
home and fled to Tennessee, sometime after the warning about the door.
The story is a little vague about when he actually disappeared.
But he was definitely arrested in Knoxville and admitted to setting the trap for his estranged wife.
He is being charged with two counts of attempted aggravated battery on a pregnant person and
one count of grand theft of a firearm.
He will be extradited to Flagler County and is probably there by now.
I hope they're going to keep him behind bars while waiting to go to trial.
He's just stupid enough to hurt someone.
Florida Man Calls 9-1-1 Because His Clams Were Too Small
The Stuart Police Department received two emergency phone calls from Nelson Agosto of
Port Saint Lucie, who was at Crabby's Seafood Shack, and very upset about the size of the
clams he'd been served.
A deputy was dispatched, not to investigate the size of the clams, but to cite Agosto
for misuse of the emergency system.
Agosto claims he "didn't know the rules of 9-1-1"
If you've got a problem with the size of someone's clams, you take it up with them directly, sir.
Who raised you?
Some sort of whiny tattletale?
You only paid twelve dollars for a whole plate of clams, what were you expecting!
*Side note: I have no clue how much clams should cost, but for a seafood dinner to cost
$12.00, I assume you're going to have to put up with some sort of cost-cutting maneuver.
Next time, order clams that cost more so you can claim the merchant robbed you when you
call the police.
Florida Man Punches ATM, Then Tattles On Himself
Michael John Oleksik was reportedly in a hurry to get to work,
and when he requested money out of the ATM machine, he must've pushed
the wrong dollar amount button, because he claims the machine gave him too much money.
Unsure of what to do about it, and still needing to get to work, Oleksik punched the ATM's
touch screen and headed on about his day.
Later, he phoned the bank and admitted what he'd done, so Wells Fargo pressed charges
because he did $5,000 in damages!
The bank was kind enough to mention, had Oleksik not phoned, they probably wouldn't have known
who the ATM vandal was.
Way to go bro!
Florida Man Reports Himself As A Drunk Driver
A Winter Haven 9-1-1 operator got more than
she expected when she answered a call from Michael Lester on New Year's Eve.
Apparently, Lester had been driving around Winter Haven all night, "trying to get pulled over."
Must be why he called 9-1-1.
Anyway, he couldn't tell the operator where he was, but said he was pulling over to get
something to eat and "they can catch up with me."
Sounds like a man with a plan to me.
Polk County Sheriff's did not disclose where they found Lester, but when they did he admitted
he'd had two beers, but later changed it to four.
He claims he had also slept for only four hours in the last four days, and had eaten some meth.
Boy this guy was a big ol' mess, I'm glad he called the cops on himself, who knows how
long it would've taken them to find him, driving drunkely all across Winter Haven and all.
But, all's well that ends well.
This drunk is in jail and the police get the easiest collar of the year.
Good job everybody!
Florida Woman Claims She Was Unaware Her Car Was Full Of Drugs
Lot of clueless criminals we've got this week!
Sharymar Judith Santana of Green Acres was stopped on the Florida Turnpike for a tint
violation, and inside the vehicle police found what no woman with two children in the back
seat should ever be caught with.
A whole bunch of drugs!
Troopers reported they smelled a strong odor of marijuana inside the car, and when asked,
the driver did not object to a search of her car.
She said her husband is also a driver of the car, and a friend named "Smoke" helped her
to pack up the car that day.
In the trunk they found 11 pounds of marijuana, 4.5 pounds of hash powder, and more than a
pound of cocaine, along with some hash oil and mushrooms.
This woman was about to throw the greatest party in Florida history!
Now, there's no way in hell this woman could have denied knowing about the marijuana, her
car reeked of it, and that aroma is very hard to mistake, but the rest of the drugs, perhaps
she didn't know about it.
Maybe Smoke put all that stuff in her trunk.
Maybe her husband didn't remember leaving thousands of dollars worth of various drugs
in the family car.
Maybe he didn't care enough to protect his family from possible search and seizure.
Either way, this woman is definitely in trouble and is facing charges of felony possession
of cocaine and marijuana, cocaine trafficking, and possession of a hallucinogen.
Good luck Santana.
Guys, you gotta stop putting that dark ass tint on your car if you're going to be up to illegal activities.
Are you really the kind of criminal who wants to go down for their tint being too dark?
Come on now!
Here's another shoulda-known-better story, starring yet another Florida Woman
Taylor Bennett of Bradenton failed to obey the state's "Move Over" law, requiring drivers
to move over one lane when an emergency vehicle has their lights flashing, so she was pulled
over for the violation.
Deputies noted her car smelled of air freshener and that the backseat was folded down, exposing
the inside of ther trunk.
Bennett handed over an Indiana learner's permit along with the car's registration, and when
deputies returned to her car, they noticed the backseat was no longer laying down.
Bennett allowed a search of her vehicle and inside the trunk was a backpack , a scale,
a jar with more than 7 ounces of marijuana inside, a box of sandwich baggies, and $1,747
in cash.
She is being charged with possession of marijuana with intent to sell, and was cited for violating
her learner's permit and failing to move over.
FYI January is "Move Over" Month in Florida and the push is on to get people to comply.
So be extra careful out there on the roads, don't carry all your weed and cocaine stash with you,
don't tint your windows too dark, don't forget to move over for emergency signals,
aand use your ******* turn signals.
I can't stress that enough!
This is a PSA for us all.
Florida Man Carrying Much More Than Stolen Ribs In His Pants
Maeli Alvarez-Aguilar was suspected of stuffing a rack of ribs into his pants and walking
out of the Rines Market IGA store in Martin County.
When stopped by a deputy, Alvarez-Aguilar removed a rack of ribs from his pants, but
a further search uncovered an entire picnic hiding in those pants.
Nine pieces of fried chicken, two packs of hamburger buns and a container of mashed potatoes
were also recovered and Aguilar-Alvarez was charged with petty merchant theft.
Those must have been some magical pants.
I hope he wasn't heading to a party and everyone was waiting for him to arrive.
I'd be so pissed if I showed up expecting some ribs, and there was no food....
Never invite me over if there's not going to be food.
That's just rude.
Florida Man Jumped Off A Bridge To Escape Drunk Florida Woman
An unidentified man in Jupiter was traveling in a car with his girlfriend, and she must've
been on a hell of a bitch fest.
At some point, she started hitting the man while he was driving, and yanked the steering wheel.
The car swerved into a concrete bridge barrier and stopped.
The man then exited the vehicle, drunk woman follwing behind, and the man took a route
he hoped she wouldn't follow.
Over the side of the bridge.
He swam to a nearby park, and as the article specificed, ESCAPED!
Good on ya, bro!!!
I don't know if I would've went over a bridge to get away, but I understand.
The drunk woman, also unidentified, was taken to jail, but it's not specified for what.
Sometimes I get only pieces of very good stories and they're just too good not to share.
Florida Woman Not Enthused By Dancing
Nancy Wolfeich of Cocoa was not pleased when she saw another woman
"dancing on top of her fiancee and spreading her legs" on December 31st.
So she allegedly punched the other woman in the face.
Nancy claims she did not punch the other woman, but was later quoted saying
"Next time I see that bitch I'm going to beat her ass again"
So I think we all know for a fact, Nancy kept her hands to herself all night long.
She headed to jail on battery charges anyway.
Good job Nance.
Might I point out that you left your man behind, with the dancing woman, and now you'll never
know what happened after you left.
I bet that'll drive you crazy you insecure bitch.
Florida Man Goes To The Bank For A Burrito
We don't know exactly what Douglas Francisco
was up to before heading out for a burrito, but it left him significantly impaired.
When he got to the Taco Stand, aka, the Bank of America, he went through the drive-through
lanes, and passed the hell out.
The bank manager went outside to bang on this guy's window for a bit, and when Francisco
finally woke up, was very disappointed to learn there were no burritos.
When police arrived, he agreed to participate in field sobriety exercises, and succeeded
in failing every single one of them.
Hernando County Deputies escorted Francisco to the jail, charging him with driving while
under the influence.
Due to the oxycodone and xanax he had on him at the time, deputies assume the prescribed
pills were to blame for the impairment.
Ooh this is a good one!
Florida Writer Calls 9-1-1 About Spider-Wife
Friggin Spider-wife yall!
On January 17th, William Rutger of Tarpon Springs contacted 9-1-1 to ask that his wife
be given a mental health evaluation, against her will, because she had become a spider.
Operators took him for a joke and sent no responders, until almost 2 hours later, when
Rutger called back, insisting that his wife was still a black widow spider.
Pinellas County Deputies were sent to the home and found Rutger, smelling strongly of
alcohol and behaving like he was impaired.
You can tell by his eyes he'd had a lot, and maybe that's why he saw his wife as a spider.
Or maybe his wife is a spider and if you're drunk enough, you can see through the spell
she's put on herself.
On a side note, William Rutger is a published writer, his book from 2009 is titled "The
Alcoholic's Guide To Adventure" and is touted as "a lighthearted jaunt into the sublime
world of drunken decadence."
I'm hoping we get a new novel out of this adventure, maybe he'll call it,
"My Wife Turned Into A Spider and I'm The One Going To Jail".
Florida Woman Employs Her Child To Hold A Box Of Drugs
Mersades McFaulds of Summerfield was pulled over with her husband and three children,
and says she knew her license was suspended.
During the traffic stop, they found out her husband's license was also suspended, so McFaulds
was arrested and her family sent home on foot.
While walking away, an officer noticed one of the children carrying a wooden box with
a padlock on it, and when asked what was inside, the kid said "Notes."
Now, I'm not sure on the legalities of what happened next, but a key was found inside
the vehicle and they used it to open the lock on the box.
Inside they found a credit card with McFaulds' name, a bag of pills that tested positive
for methamphetamine, two bags of heroin, an amount of marijuana, several needles, a spoon,
a scale, and plastic baggies.
Of course.
McFaulds, on top of driving with a suspended license with knowlege, is also being charged
with causing a child to committ and act of delinquency and possession of the illegal
items in the box.
I can only hope DCF was at the house when the family arrived home on foot.
Good luck with those parents, kids.
Florida Woman Pulls Officer Into Her Vehicle, Discharges His Weapon
And not in the dirty way!
Danielle Trudell was passed out in her SUV in a parking lot on Markham Woods Road in
Seminole County.
When a Sheriff's deputy approached, Trudell woke up and tried to drive away, but the officer
reached inside the vehicle, presumably to turn it off.
Trudell grabbed the officer and pulled him partially through the window, then reached
for his weapon and managed to fire it, while it was still inside the holster.
The officer was able to overpower Trudell and got her out of the vehicle and into cuffs.
His gun was rendered inoperable, since the holster prevented the bullet from exiting
the barrel.
Inside the vehicle were bags of white powder that tested positive for fentanyl, and various
unspecificed paraphernalia.
Trudell is being charged with aggravated assault with a weapon, resisting an officer with violence,
and drug charges for the fentanyl.
Lucky this wasn't one of those zombie drug addicts, the kind you can't take down with
a truck full of tasers.
I'm relieved the officer wasn't hurt during the struggle.
People are just so unpredictable, and that is why I can never sign up to be a cop.
Florida Cop Unexpectedly Picks Up Hooker
Rebecca McLoon of Lake Wales approached a car at a red light in Polk County.
She motioned the driver to roll the window down, then got into the passenger seat, and
asked the driver if he wanted to smoke.
The guy asked her to get out of his vehicle, so she asked if he was a cop,
to which he said yes.
Then she laughed, andwhipped a crack pipe out of her waistband, and said she knew a place
they could get something to smoke.
At that point, the driver, who is an actual detective, drove into a parking lot and tried
to cuff the woman in the passenger seat.
She put up a fight, tossing the crack pipe, but the Detective handled her quickly and
recovered the evidence.
When other, on-duty officers arrived, they asked McLoon if she was turning tricks, which
is slang for prostituting, and she replied "Yeah, I wanted a trick, but I sure didn't
get a treat."
McLoon is being charged with trespassing in an occupied conveyance, resisting an officer
without violence, possession of drug paraphernalia, possesion of cocaine, and tampering with evidence.
Man this lady know how to party.
And she's kind of got the best last name in Polk County, McLoon!
"Sand Flea Jesus" Has Been Caught!
Melbourne Police have had a number of stolen animal crimes lately, and they are blaming
a man who they call "Sand Flea Jesus" due to his Jesus-y appearance and tendency to
live among the sea grapes.
His real name is Nicholas Alvoy, and he is suspected of being a pet-nabbing nuisance
for months, making off with a ball python that he released into a nursery, a cat from
the Aloha Pet & Bird Hospital, and even someone's identity.
He is being charged with petty theft, criminal mischief, and wildlife violations for setting
free a non-native animal.
You can rest easier, pet-enthusiasts of Melbourne.
We got him.
Holy cow guys, I hope you made it all the way to the end and you were just as awed as
always at the awesomeness that is our Florida's Finest.
Soon I will have part 2 of this video done, all the stories that made me very angry.
I'm gonna swear a lot, you don't wanna miss it so subscribe, leave me a comment, and share
with your momma.
Stay safe and don't forget to be awesome.
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