[SIRENS]
Hello and welcome back to Drizzle Animations where leaving a like and subscribing will
get you your very own Farmers Union Iced Coffee!
For those of you who somehow haven't managed to figure out where I am in this wonderful
world. I live in this small little country called Australia. "'Straya", "The
land down under", "That upside down place with the kangaroos and Vegemite". Whatever
you wanna call it, it's the country I, and close to 25 million wonderful people call
home. And today (on the 26th of January) those 25 million people are celebrating Australia
Day where today, "marks the anniversary of the 1788 arrival of the First Fleet of
British ships at Port Jackson, New South Wales."
However, for the 76.5% of you who aren't in Australia, I want to take this opportunity
to show you some of the things my country offers and I would also like to explain a
few. Um… "Misconceptions" that anyone outside the country has. (Looking at you America).
Whenever someone outside Australia is asked to describe the country they always default
to roughly the same thing:
American: Australia is just some flat, dry and dusty outback plane with shacks and water
tanks everywhere. There are crocodiles, spiders, kangaroos and drop bears in your backyard
- LITERALLY, EVERYTHING THERE WANTS YOU DEAD! And they live off a diet of dirt mixed with
milk or somethin'!
Drizzle: OK, first of all, you do realise we have suburbs? We aren't that isolated.
To be fair I'm sure some people do live in shacks in the outback or something, but
most of us live on our coastlines! Secondly, no, not everything here wants you dead. And
in terms of animals in my backyard, the only thing remotely close to one is this plastic
crocodile I got from a dollar store when I was 8, and that scaly ass mother [BLEEP] is
as boring as your 7th-grade drama teacher taking you to a hipster play about paint drying.
And finally, Milo isn't dirt. It's essentially brown cocaine. And even though you are technically
supposed to mix it with milk, no one ever does. Most of the time we eat tablespoons
of it straight from the tin. At least, that's what I did as a child… If anyone of you
ate Milo like I did, please tell me in the comments so that I know I wasn't being stupid.
Phew. OK, now with that all that is cleared up, here are a few things that make Australia
the amazing country that it is.
First of all. It's hot here. Like, frying eggs on the pavement hot. While most of you
watching this are probably up to your necks in snow and negative 20-degree weather, most
of the country is averaging weather above 35 degrees on a daily basis. IT GOT TO THE
POINT WHERE HIGHWAYS WERE MELTING IN VICTORIA! Oh boy, only in Australia... But at the same
time, our weather is like your bipolar ex, they can both change rapidly without any warning,
and it's kinda weird.
Weather Presenter: Hello and this is the Australian forecast for the next week. I hope you all
have your A/Cs ready because from Sunday onwards every city in the country will be above 36
degrees! However, do expect the weather to drop rapidly on Wednesday, where there will
be nationwide storms, until Thursday where the temperature doubles. Because Australia,
I guess.
Something else that I would consider kinda weird is some of the things people believe
about us. I don't understand how you guys come up with half of this stuff and as much
as I hope you are all joking when you say this, it's sometimes hard to tell... NO, WE
DON'T PUT SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE. WE DON'T EVEN SAY SHRIMP! THEY CALLED PRAWNS! The only
reason that phrase exists was because of a tourism ad played in the states in the 90s.
Advert: "Although you lot do have a funny accent! Come on, come and say G'day! I'll
throw an extra shrimp on the barbie!"
Also, drop bears don't exist, and we also don't ride kangaroos to school or keep them
as pets. They are our equals and we treat them with respect thank you very much
[BLEEP]
Also, just because I live in the same country as your cousin doesn't mean I personally
know them, NO ONE HERE DRINKS FOSTERS AND WE ARE NOT UPSIDE DOWN! Once again, what are
you foreigners thinking? Like, come on guys I thought you were smarter than this …
Speaking of foreigners, Australia is probably one of the most diverse countries in this
world, we have people from all different cultures and backgrounds who call this country home.
But when most people think of Australians, they usually think we are all like Steve Irwin
or something. I have even had a few people ask me if people like this exist:
Australian: OH [BLEEP] YEAH, NAH YEAH NAH MATE. GRAB ME A BIT OF GROG AND A CIGGIE AND
LET'S GO EAT SOME SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE AT MACCAS WHILE WE WATCH THE CRICKET ON TELLY
MATE! [BLEEP] 'OATH [BLEEP]! KOCHIE, MEAT PIES, [BLEEP] THOSE KIWI [BLEEP]!"
[BLEEP]
To be fair, I'm sure at least one person like this exists but the sad thing is there
are some people who actually believe that most Australians are like this which… Just…
Come on guys you can't be serious?
On a completely unrelated note, I just want to talk a bit about some of the food we have
here. Specifically, some Aussie exclusive foods we have. Even more specifically, how
anyone outside of Australia doesn't know how to eat them correctly… It really shouldn't
bother me this much, but seeing Americans eating some of the food we have incorrectly
kind of tilts me.
The main food no one seems to eat right is Vegemite, a food spread made from yeast extract.
Now America, you have done some amazing things for this world. You have sent men to the moon,
you have made amazing advances in technology and science, and in general, you are a pretty
nice country. And yet, despite all of these accomplishments, NONE OF YOU [BLEEP]WITS HAVE
FIGURED OUT HOW EAT VEGEMITE PROPERLY! IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD!
To enjoy Vegemite properly, you need to get a toast and spread butter and Vegemite very
thinly. THINLY! MOST OF YOU PUT ENOUGH VEGEMITE ON YOUR TOAST OR CRACKERS TO FEED A SMALL
VILLAGE! And don't get me started about the idiots who eat Vegemite with a spoon.
IT'S NOT NUTELLA, OF COURSE, YOU WON'T LIKE IT IF YOU EAT THAT MUCH. YOU SILLY SAUSAGES!
Man: That's… That's - [Gagging]
Drizzle: [Sigh] Jesus Christ
Anyway, our next food item is Tim Tams. They are essentially 2 chocolate biscuits with
chocolate filling, with said biscuits being coated in chocolate. Now if your mouth is
drooling and your arteries are feeling a bit uneasy, they should be. As much as these biscuits
are very fattening they are absolutely amazing! By the way, if you ever get your hands on
a pack, you need to try out something called "The Tim Tam Slam", where you get a beverage
(usually warm milk or tea), bite off two opposing corners of the Tim Tam and then you use the
Tim Tam as a straw. It sounds so simple and boring, but you have no idea how fun and delicious
it is!
Rhett: It's incredible! Mmm… Thank you, Australia!
You know what else is delicious? Fairy Bread, a staple of Aussie cuisine. To make it, get
a slice of white bread, spread some butter on it then sprinkle "Hundreds and thousands"
on the butter. Once again, this sounds so simple, but IT'S SO GODDAMN GOOD! I don't
know what it is, but for some reason EVEN AS A 17-YEAR-OLD MALE, I will go out of my
way to make and eat Fairy Bread, I enjoy it that much. Sadly, because of my Italian heritage
I never really ate Fairy Bread that often, and the first time I had it was when I went
to an Australian friends house.
Friend: Hey dude, you have to try this stuff! Drizzle: Umm, sure what is it?
Friend: It's called Fairy Bread! Come on dude you have to try it, it's amazing!
[Chewing noises] [Silence]
DRIZZLE: Oh.. My… GOD THIS IS AMAZING
OK, I could go into a detailed list of all of the food we have, but I'm 90% sure that
a third of the people who clicked on this video left the second I mentioned Vegemite.
So here is a quick list of some of the foods and drinks we have. [Takes a breath]
Anzac biscuits, Weetbix, Lamingtons, Bacon rolls, Fish 'n' Chips, Pavlova, Pies, Sausage
Rolls, Pasties, Caramello Koalas, Shapes, Scotch fingers, Twisties, Burger rings, Hundreds
and thousands biscuits, Cheesymite Scrolls, bacon and cheese rolls, iced vovos, coles
mudcakes, mint slices, wagon wheels, Cherry Ripe, crunchies, Chicken parmigiana, Chiko
rolls, golden gaytimes, paddle pops, zooper doopers, calippos, drumsticks, Solo, sprite,
cottees cordial, bundaberg drinks, bickfords drinks, kirk drinks, farmers union iced coffee,
dare iced coffee, pura milks, VB, carlton draught, hahn super dry, west end, 4 x gold,
James Boag's I could go on and on but my lungs have no air in them anymore sweet Jesus!
[Inhales asthma puffer]
[BLEEP]
However, ladies and gentlemen, there is one food that is considered to be an Australian
phenomenon. An item of food so glorious, so delightful, so iconic in fact that I guarantee
you all Australians have had the pleasure of indulging in it at least once in their
life. It's base, a slice of the cheapest white bread money can buy, it's main component
a char-grilled sausage, all topped off with fried onions and condiments to your liking.
All over the place where "Lowest Prices are just the beginning™", I present to
you: the legendary "Bunnings Snag"
Guy: "Wait, Drizzle, isn't Bunnings a hardware store?"
Drizzle: "Yes it is!" Guy: "Why does a hardware store sell fo-"
Drizzle: "Shhhhh! Don't question it!" Guy: "But Drizz-"
DRIZZLE: "Listen here you [BLEEP] little shi-"
[BLEEP]
In all seriousness, Bunnings lets charities host sausage sizzles to raise money. And considering
you can get a snag and a drink for just four bucks, I don't see why you wouldn't want
to! And trust me when I say this, the snags there are actually amazing. When it gets to
the point where people are flying drones to Bunnings to pick one up, you know they are
doing something right. I don't know what the appeal about buying a sausage from a hardware
store is, but God damn do I go out of my way to actually eat one.
Aleandro: Actually, you know what? This has inspired me, we are gonna… [Stuttering and car keys clinking]
Let's go get one right now!
On a completely unrelated note, it's quite obvious that the main language spoken here
is English. But the amount of slang we use on a daily basis is crazy. And even I didn't
know most of the words that some people have used until I did some research!
There are simple ones like "g'day", "Fair dinkum", "Arvo'" which essentially
everyone, even non-Australians know about. Then there are more colloquial terms used
in phrases such as "Chuck a U-EY at the servo mate" or " Put a sock in it you
Drongo ". Then there are the ones so strange that I either have never heard of them, or
they make zero sense to me!
First off, for some reason, most of us refer to strangers as "Mates" and some of us
call our friends "[BLEEP]", for some weird reason. And side note, if an Aussie calls
you "A sick [BLEEP]" don't take offence, that's a compliment. Yeah, don't ask me
why it just is… Then there are words like "bluey", "Cozzie",
"Bush telly", "click" like WHAT!? I don't think I have ever heard a single
person using these words in my lifetime!
I could seriously go on and on about some of the slang people use, but this video is
already too long as it is, so I will include some links in the description if you are interested
in learning a bit more.
In conclusion, while Australia does have its flaws, I honestly wouldn't want to live
anywhere else. I am seriously grateful that I was born in such an amazing country and
I wouldn't trade living here for anything. Speaking of which, do you know what would
be even more amazing? You subscribing to my channel! All you need to do is click on the
circle with my face on it! And while you do that, I'm going to make myself a milo. Catch
you all next time!
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