nothing without her she completes me I was acting I've watched this video and
I've learned how to get over a breakup and we're starting with tips on how to
overcome your breakup now
the first thing we need to do is stop distracting ourselves in the past over
break-up of eating ice cream I've cried about it maybe you go drinking maybe you
smoked maybe you go chasing after someone else but this is temporary
relief at best what makes these negative emotions this heartbreak this feeling of
loneliness so terrifying is our unwillingness to accept it what if you
just sat down and just process the whole relationship the good the bad what you
can learn from it and carry it on into the next one you know there's other
people out there I know in this state of mind you feel unlovable you feel like a
failure you feel like it'll never happen but there's people always out there so
stop distracting yourself let yourself feel the emotion and move on from it
next thing you could do is ask this question do you really want to be with
someone who doesn't want to be with you do you really want to be with someone
who doesn't want to be with you I know it's easy in the state of mind that
you're in now to say yes I don't care I love them I want to be with them but
flip it around what if this person that you're with was in love with you but you
want to be with someone else or you didn't have these feelings for that
person would you just suck it up and be with that person forever just to make
them happy I think you know the answer the only reason you feel this way is you
might have this belief that you're not going to find love again or if you do
find it it won't be as intense and enjoyable as this previous person but
that's a scarcity mindset as long as you have a scarcity mindset that's what
you're going to attract in your life whenever I ask someone out or whenever a
relationship doesn't work out and they break up with me I just say do I want to
be with someone who doesn't want to be with me of course I don't I don't move
on to someone who likes all these quirks that I have and find someone who likes
all the quirks you have and who wants to be with you the next thing you may need
to do is let go of your checklist what I mean by this is this ideal person that
you in your mind that you're fixated on may
be either blonde hair a certain body type a certain personality and maybe
this previous girl had what you're looking for on your list or got very
close and you may be feeling depressed because you have in your mind that
you'll never find someone like this previous person or this person out there
that's gonna check everything off your list doesn't exist and you're gonna be
miserable and alone forever but you may have to let go of this checklist and I
started to realize this after reading blank by Malcolm Gladwell I did a book
review on that I'll leave a card right there
but in the book and in that video I discuss a blind date study participants
before the blind date filled out a questionnaire basically their checklist
everything that they're looking for in an ideal mate but then they went on the
dates and the people they liked the people they connected with had nothing
to do with this ideal person that they had in their head all I'm saying is it
might be tough to find someone as great as that person that you dated that ended
but if you let go of this list you may find that you connect and you fall in
love with someone that has nothing to do with the person that you have in your
mind we don't know what we're looking for I'm willing to admit it I hope you
do too and if you let go this list start evaluating people looking for what you
love and being patient not writing people off I'm telling you you'll find
love quicker than you think the next idea may require an open mind because
most people don't accept this but Steve Atchison says people change for two main
reasons their minds have been open or their hearts have been broken whenever
you experience low moments in your life this is the time to capitalize because
you'll often lead to an open mind that comes to new insights and new
understandings that's definitely happened for me
you might carry this belief with you that says that someone out there
completes you someone out there is your better half and as long as you are alone
and you don't have them in your life you can't fully be happy something's missing
where if you adopted a new belief that said you're complete right now if you're
overweight if you're alone if you're not making the money you'd like to make
you're still complete now the only thing that will change from your future
experiences and your relationships is a they're healthy ones but cause you to
expand and cause you to grow do whatever you can to accept this idea that you're
complete now because what's going to happen if you had this previous
mentality of a missing piece or someone out there is going to complete you
you're going to chase after things that fill your voids your vices ice cream
drinking smoking having one night stands whatever it is and when you find this
next person you may be scared to be yourself you may do whatever you can to
change your so that they will accept and like you so you don't go back to feeling
alone again let this go open your mind that you're complete right now and I'm
telling you you'll be more authentic you'll be more confident and you will
attract so many more people in your life who might be better than this previous
girl who might be better than you ever imagined you are complete right now and
I'm telling you this next relationship if you go into it with this mentality
you'll flourish and you'll become a bigger more expansive person the next
thing you could do is stop saying it was a waste I think just about everything in
our life we look at the ending and if it ended poorly we evaluate the hole and
say it was a waste of time don't do that because in there so lationship even
though it's no longer a thing I'm sure there were some great experiences and
I'm sure there were some heartbreaking experiences but sometimes you need that
experience to know what it's like to connect with other people to become a
better person and I've made this mistake over the years I've read hundreds of
books and I would listen to gurus and experts on how to live life particularly
relationships but it wasn't experiencing it I feel sometimes even when it doesn't
work out even if you fall on your face you might need to fall on your face to
get back up to become a better person till one from the experience so that the
next relationship can flourish it wasn't a waste it was not a waste this next
idea may explain why your relationships haven't worked in the past and they may
not work in the future relationships don't work when people are not willing
to be vulnerable and fully open their hearts to the other person out of fear
and I've one of the site from adaptation starring Nicolas Cage
I'll leave a scene to that video right now in a card but in this scene
twin brothers are reminiscing a time in highschool this one brother loved this
girl he's in the library he's flirting with her and he turns his back and the
other brother explains to him that this girl was making fun of that brother she
was making fun of him with her friend and he explains I know she was making
fun of me but I loved her how she feels about me and what she does is her
business and then he lets out this line that will change your life you are what
you love not what loves you you are what you love not what loves you I realized
that's why relationships don't work out why you have all this love inside you
but you don't give it out because you don't think you'll get it back in return
but what if you needed to be vulnerable you needed to be that person that steps
up opens your heart because the other person was too afraid if you fully
understand this how does someone felt about you wouldn't
matter you in love with your full heart you would be vulnerable
and know that this love that you have is in abundance you have this love not the
love that someone can give you if you grasp that you could say I love you to
someone and they could turn and walk away and you'd be unfazed I hope you
realize this love that you're chasing after that maybe you came across to
watch this video to find this love from someone else is right here it's an
abundance it's overflowing you are this love not what loves you and the last
idea stop looking for that special someone start being that special someone
if you're looking for that special someone you may not find them they may
break your heart and you may be like me in that video earlier eating ice cream
and crying about it let's choose to believe that everything
is happening for a reason this breakup happened for a reason
you being single happened for a reason all this rejection failure all these
negative parts in life are happening for reason because life is causing you to
become a better person to be that special someone that's what my channel
is all about to help you be that special someone in someone's life I made this
video out of a comment someone suggested can you make a video on break-up
motivation and here it is I listened to my comments I respond so if there's
anything I could do for you any video topics I can make in the future please
and leave a comment below I will read it a friend I hope you get over your
breakup if that's what you're going through now and I hope I can expand your
life and whatever way I can if you want more videos like this please
subscribe today by hitting that icon right there this is your friend Michael
Unks inspiring you to learn laugh and love hope you have enjoyed this video
can't wait to see you in the next one
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