Yeah, D.B.? Cleaning out deadwood.
Okay.
Mr. Connell I can't afford to be without work right now.
Not even for a day.
I've got a mother and two kid sisters.
More 'good luck' telegrams.
You know how it is.
I've got to keep on working, see?
Sorry, sister. I was sent down here to clean house.
I told you I can't use your column anymore.
It's lavender and old lace.
Send those other people in.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I get 30 dollars a week. I'll take 25, 20 if necessary.
- I'll do anything you say. - It isn't the money.
We're after circulation, fireworks. People that hit with sledgehammers,
start arguments.
I can do that. I know this town inside out.
- Give me a chance, please. - Alright, come in.
Cashier's got your check.
Who are these people?
Gibbs, Crawley, Cunningham, Giles.
Hey you, sister!
Don't forget your last column before you pick up your check.
You're a couple of sticks shy on your column, ma'am.
Big rich slob like D.B. Norton buys a paper and chops 40 heads off.
- Did you get it too? - You too?
Joe, I'm sorry darling.
Let's we tear the building down.
Before you do, you better finish this column.
Lavender and old lace.
Wait, Joe. Wait.
Wants fireworks, huh?
Okay.
Here.
"Below is a letter which reached my desk this morning.
It's a commentary on what we laughingly call a 'civilized world'.
Dear Miss Mitchell, 4 years ago I was fired out of my job.
Since then I haven't had another.
At first I was sore at the State Administration because
it's on account of slimy politics we have all this unemployment.
But in looking around, it seems the whole world's going to pot.
In protest, I'm committing suicide by jumping of the City Hall roof.
Signed, a disgusted American citizen: John Doe."
Editor's note: "If you ask this column,
the wrong people are jumping of the roofs."
Ann, this is the old fake-a-roo, isn't it?
Never mind that, go ahead.
"...because of slimy politics
that we have all this unemployment."
There it is. D.B Norton's opening attack on the Governor.
Why Jim, it's just a letter sent into a column.
No, I can smell it. That's Norton.
Good morning, gentleman. You're here rather early.
Governor, did you happen to see the new Bulletin?
Yes, I had it served with breakfast.
- Jim thinks it's D.B. Norton. - Of course it is.
Come, Jim. That little item?
D.B. Norton does things in a much bigger way.
It's his opening attack on you, Governor. Take my word for it.
What did he buy a paper for?
Why did he engage a high pressure editor like Connell?
He's in the oil business. Governor, he's after your scalp.
Alright, Jim. Don't burst a blood vessel.
- I'll look into it. - Yes, sir?
Get me Spencer of the Daily Chronicle, please.
Yes, I saw it, Governor. If you ask me, it's a phony letter.
That gag's got whiskers on it.
I'll get the Mayor and Chamber of Commerce to go after them.
Get Mayor Lovett on the phone.
Sorry, the Mayor's busy on the other phone.
Yes, I know, Mrs. Brewster, it's a terrible reflection on our city.
- I've had a dozen calls already. - Spencer at the Chronicle.
Just a minute.
Yes, Mrs. Brewster, I'm listening.
I insist that this John Doe be found a job at once.
If something isn't done, I'll call out the whole Auxiliary.
And the Junior Auxiliary. We'll hold a meeting
and see that it is...
Yes, Spency? Who?
The Governor?
It's my building he jumping off! And I'm up for re-election.
What? Get Connell at the Bulletin.
Why, he's liable to go right past my win...
- What was that? - What?
- The window. Something flew by. - I didn't see anything.
Don't stand there, you idiot. Go and look. Open the window.
Why did he have to pick my building?
Is there a crowd in the street? Maybe he's caught on a ledge.
- It must have been a seagull. - A seagull?
What's a seagull doing around the City Hall?
- That's a bad omen, isn't it? - No, the seagull's a lovely bird.
It's alright, Mrs. Brewster. It's just a seagull.
Nothing's happened yet. I'm watching.
Don't worry. Leave it all to me.
Spencer, I'll call you back.
Hello, Connell?
This is... What are you doing? This is the Mayor.
Yes, Mayor Lovett. How many times you gonna call me?
I've got everybody and his brother and sister looking for him.
See the box I'm running?
"An appeal to John Doe. Think it over, John.
Life can be beautiful, says Mayor.
If you need a job, apply to the editor and so forth..."
Okay, Mayor, I'll let you know as soon as I have something.
What?
Well, pull down the blinds.
Went up to Miss Mitchell's house. Boy, she's in a bad way.
- Where is she? - Supports her mother and two kids.
- Did you find her? - No. Her mother's worried.
She said she was going on a roaring drunk, the girl I mean.
Go out and find her.
The biggest thing I didn't tell ya. Her old man's Doc Mitchell.
He saved my mother's life and wouldn't take money for it.
Okay, Boss. I'll look for her.
Holy smokes, Commissioner. You've had 24 hours.
Okay, Hawkshaw, grab a pencil. Here it is again.
About 5 foot five, brown eyes,
chestnut hair...
and as fine a pair of legs as...
ever walked into this office.
- Do you want to see me? - No.
I've had the whole Army and Navy searching for you
because it's a game we play.
I remember distinctly being fired.
That's right, but you have property that belongs to this newspaper.
- What's that? - The letter.
- What letter? - The letter from John Doe.
The town's in an uproar, we got to find it. It's the only clue.
- There is no letter. - We'll get a handwriting expert to...
- What? - There is no letter.
- Say that again. - I made it up.
You made it up.
You said you wanted fireworks.
Don't you know there are 9 jobs waiting for this guy,
22 families want to board him free,
5 women want to marry him and the Mayor's ready to adopt him?
- Just called the morgue. A girl... - Shut up!
Ann! Why didn't you...?
Only one thing to do, Hank. Drop the whole business quickly.
Run a story. Say John Doe was in here,
and is sorry he wrote the letter...
Sure. He came in here and I made him change his mind.
"Bulletin Editor saves John Doe's life." It's perfect.
I'll have Ned write it up.
- Ned, I got a story... - Wait a minute.
Listen, you great big genius of a newspaperman.
You came to shoot some life into this dying newspaper.
Well, the whole town's curious about John Doe and boom!
You're going to bury him.
There's enough circulation in that man to start an ink shortage.
- In what man? - John Doe.
- What John Doe? - Ours. The one I made up.
Look genius. Now, look.
Suppose a John Doe walked into this office? What would you do?
Find him a job and forget the whole business, huh?
Not me. I'd make a deal with him.
A deal?
You don't drop a stunt to sell papers like a hot potato.
This is good for a couple of months. Know what I'd do?
Between now and Christmas, when he jumps, I'd run a daily yawn.
Starting with his boyhood, his schooling, his first job.
A wide-eyed youngster facing a chaotic world.
The problem of the average man, all the John Does.
Then comes the drama. He meets discouragement.
He finds the world has feet of clay, his ideals crumble.
What does he do? He decides to
commit suicide in protest against the state of civilization.
He thinks of the river, but no. He has a better idea:
The City Hall. Why? He wants to attract attention.
He want to get things off his chest and it's the only way to be heard.
- So? - So?
So he writes me a letter and I dig him up.
He pours out his soul to me. From now on we quote:
"I Protest", by John Doe.
He protests against all the evils in the world.
The greed, lust, hate, fear. All of man's inhumanity to man.
Arguments will start. Should he commit suicide or not?
People will write in, pleading with him. But no, sir!
John Doe will remain adamant.
On Christmas Eve, hot or cold, he goes, see?
Very pretty, very pretty indeed, Miss Mitchell.
But would you mind telling me who goes on Christmas Eve?
- John Doe - What John Doe?
The one we hire for the job, you lunkhead.
Wait a minute. Let me get this through this lame brain of mine.
We hire someone who says they'll commit suicide on Christmas Eve?
Now you're catching on.
- Who for instance? - Anybody. Beany'll do.
Why sure. Who me? Jump off a...
Anytime but Christmas. I'm superstitious.
Do me a favor. Go on out and get married, have babies but...
stay out of the newspaper business.
Better get that story in hand. It's getting late.
You're supposed to be a smart guy. If it was raining 100 dollar bills,
you'd be looking for a dime you lost someplace.
Holy smokes. Wasting my time listening to this mad woman.
Look what the Chronicle's running on John Doe. They say it's a fake.
Why the no-good...
"John Doe story, amateur journalism.
This is so phony, it's a wonder anyone's taking it seriously."
- What do you think of those guys? - That's fine. That's fine.
Now fall into their laps. Go ahead.
Say John Doe walked in and called the whole thing off.
You know what that'll sound like.
- That's all, Ned. Thank you. - All right.
Amateur journalism, huh?
That bunch of sophomores.
- I could teach them more... - Boss! Get a load of this.
- What? - Look.
What do they want?
- They say they wrote the letter. - Yeah, I wrote it, Boss.
They all wrote the letter.
Tell them all to wait. One is your John Doe.
They're desperate and will do anything for a cup of coffee.
Pick one and you can make the Chronicle eat their words.
I'm beginning to like this.
If you ask me, Hank, you're playing with dynamite.
No, the girl's right.
We can't let the Chronicle get the laugh on us.
We've got to produce a John Doe now.
Amateur journalism, huh? I'll show those guys.
Sure and there's no reason for them to find out the truth
because naturally I won't say anything.
- Okay, you get your job back. - Plus a bonus.
- What bonus? - The bonus of 1,000 dollars...
the Chronicle was going to pay me for this little document.
"I, Ann Mitchell, certify that the John Doe letter was created by me..."
- I can read. I can read. - Sorry.
You think this is worth 1,000 dollars, do ya?
The Chronicle would consider it dirt cheap.
Packs everything including a gun.
Okay, sister, you got a deal. Let's look at the candidates.
The one we pick has got to be the typical, average man.
Typical American that can keep his mouth shut.
Show me an American who can keep his mouth shut and I'll eat him.
Beany, bring 'em in one at a time.
Did you write that letter?
- No, I didn't. - What are you doing here then?
Paper says there were jobs. Might be one left over.
Had any schooling?
Yeah. A little.
What do you do when you work?
- I used to pitch. - Baseball?
Yeah, till my wing went bad.
Where did you play?
Bush leagues, mostly.
- Family? Got any family? - No.
- Just traveling through? - Yeah.
Me and a friend of mine. He's outside.
- Looks alright. - He's perfect. A baseball player.
What could be more American?
- Wish he had a family. - Be less complicated without.
Look at that face. It's wonderful.
They'll believe him. Come on.
- What's your name. - John Willoughby.
Long John Willoughby they called me in baseball.
Would you like to make some money?
Yeah... maybe.
Would you be willing to say you wrote that letter and stick by it?
I get the idea.
Yeah. Maybe.
That's our man. He's made to order.
He don't seem like the guy that'd fall in line.
When you're desperate for money, you do a lot of things.
He's our man I tell you. He's fainted.
Get some water, quickly!
Hurry up, Hop.
Right here, sit down.
- You alright? - Yeah, I'm alright.
How many is that, six?
Pretty hungry, weren't you?
All this John Doe business is batty, if you ask me.
Well nobody asked you.
Trying to improve the world by jumping off buildings.
You couldn't improve the world if the buildings jumped on you.
Don't mind the Colonel. He hates people.
Likes you enough to stick around.
'Cause we both play doohickeys.
I met him in a boxcar a couple of years ago.
I was fooling around with my harmonica and he joins in.
Haven't shaken him since.
- Alright boys, here he is. - No, you can't take photos of him
eating a sandwich and with a beard.
- He's going to jump off a building. - Not because he's out of a job.
That's not news. He's jumping out of principle.
Maybe you're right.
We clean him up, put him in a hotel under bodyguard. Make a mystery.
- Did you speak to Mr. Norton? - Thinks it's terrific.
Wants us to build a bonfire under every big shot in the state.
- Swell. Is that the contract? - Yeah.
- What's he doing here? - Friend of his. They play duets.
Duets? Can we trust him?
I trust him.
You trust him, eh? I'm suppose he trusts you too.
Stop worrying. He's all right.
Okay, but we don't want more than a hundred people in on this.
First, I want an exact copy of the John Doe letter
in your own handwriting.
I got it already. Here.
That's fine.
Now sign this agreement.
It gives us an exclusive story under your name, day by day
from now until Christmas.
On December 26th, you get one railroad ticket
out of town.
The Bulletin pays to have your arm fixed. It's what you want?
Yeah, but it's got to be by Bone-setter Brown.
Okay, Bone-setter Brown goes. Here, sign it.
Meanwhile, here's 50 dollars spending money.
That's fine. Beany?
Take charge of him. A suite at the Imperial and bodyguards.
And some new clothes.
- Think we better have him deloused? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Both of them? - Yes, but don't lose them.
- Beany, gray suit, huh? - Yeah.
Okay, fellas.
Take it easy, John Doe.
And you start pounding that typewriter.
This is terrific. No responsibilities on our part,
just statements from John Doe and we can blast our heads off.
Before you pop your buttons, don't forget that check for 1,000.
Yeah.
Okay, fellas, you sit outside and nobody comes in.
You two fellas sit in here.
Pretty nifty, huh?
- You won't get me to stay here. - Sure you are.
No. Under the bridge, where we slept last night is good enough for me.
- What do I do with this baggage? - Stick it in the bedroom.
Give me mine. I ain't staying.
We were headed for the Columbia River country
before this John Doe business came up. You remember don't ya?
Sure, I remember.
Did your ears pop coming up in the elevator? Mine did.
Long John, I tell ya. It's no good.
You'll get used to a lot of stuff that's gonna wreck you.
That 50 bucks in your pocket is beginning to show up on you.
Don't pull that on me neither.
Stop worrying. I'll get my arm fixed out of this.
Here's some cigars the boss sent us. Have one.
- Colonel? - No.
I bet even the major leaguers don't rate an outfit like this.
Make yourself comfortable. Paper?
I don't read no papers and I don't listen to radios neither.
World's been shaved by a drunken barber. Don't have to read.
I've seen guys like you go under.
Guys that never had a worry, got some money and went goofy.
First thing that happens to a guy...
- Get a load of the bedroom. - No.
First thing that happens is he starts wanting to go to restaurants
and eat salad and cupcakes and tea.
What that kind of food does to your system.
Next, the dope wants a room.
A room with steam heat,
and curtains and rugs.
He softens up till he can't sleep unless he has a bed.
Stop worrying, Colonel. 50 bucks ain't gonna ruin me.
I've seen plenty of fellas start out with 50 bucks
and wind up with a bank account.
What's the matter with a bank account, anyway?
Let me tell you, Long John, when you got a bank account,
they got ya! Yes sir, the got ya.
- Who's got him? - The Heelots.
Who?
There's the City Hall tower I'm supposed to jump off of.
It's even higher than this.
- Who's got him? - The Heelots.
Wait a minute.
That's not till Christmas Eve.
Want to get me in a jam?
If it gets you in a jam, I'll do you a favor. I won't jump.
When they got ya, you got no more chance than a road rabbit.
Who was going to get him?
Is this one of those places where you ring if you want something?
- Yeah, just use the phone. - I always wanted to do that.
Hey, Doc, look.
Give me that again, will ya? Who's gonna get him?
The Heelots.
Who are they?
- Listen, you ever been broke? - Mostly often.
All right.
You're walking along, not a nickel, free as the wind, nobody bothers you.
Hundreds pass you by in every line of business:
shoes, hats, automobiles, radios, furniture, everything.
They're all nice, loveable people and they let you alone.
Now, is that right?
Then you get hold of some dough, and what happens?
All those nice, sweet, loveable people
become Heelots. A lot of heels!
The begin creepin' up on you. Trying to sell you stuff.
They get long claws and they get a stranglehold on you.
You squirm and you duck
and you holler, but you haven't got a chance.
They got ya.
First thing you know, you own things. A car, for instance.
Now your whole life is messed up with more stuff:
You got license fees and number plates,
gas and oil, taxes and insurance,
and identification cards and letters
and bills and flat tires and dents
and traffic tickets and motorcycle cops
and courtrooms, lawyers, fines and a million other things.
And what happens?
You're not the free and happy guy you used to be.
You got to have money to pay for all those things.
So you go after what the other fella's got.
And there you are. You're a Heelot yourself.
You win, Colonel. Take the fifty.
- Go out and get rid of it. - You bet. Fast as I can.
I'll get can goods, a fishing rod, the rest I'll give away.
Give away?
Get me a pitcher's glove. I got to get some practice.
Say, he's giving it away, I'm gonna get me some.
Come back here, you Heelot.
Send up 5 hamburgers with all the trimmings,
5 ice cream sodas
and 5 pieces of apple pie.
No, apple. With cheese.
Yeah, thanks.
Hello there.
Well, well.
If it isn't the man about town.
All set, Miss Ann.
Oh, yes. Let's go.
Let's see. We want some action in these pictures.
Action?
Action!
No, no. This man's going to jump off a roof.
Wait a minute. Let me comb your hair.
There, that's better.
He's got a nice face, hasn't he?
Yeah, he's pretty.
Here, sit down. Quiet, egghead.
Now a serious expression.
- I can't. I'm feeling too good. - Come on, this is serious.
You're a man disgusted with all of civilization.
- With all of it? - Yes, you're sore at the world.
- Crabby guy, huh? - Yeah.
No, no!
No.
Look...
you don't have to smell the world.
- With those guys in the bleachers. - Never mind those guys.
Stand up.
See what you look like protesting.
- Against what? - Against anything, just protest.
You got me.
Look, I'm the umpire.
You cut the plate with a fast one and I call it a ball.
- Now what would you do? - You did, huh?
Why can't you call it right? You bone-headed, big-eared...
Grab it, Eddy. Grab it.
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it! Extra!
I don't care who's picture they're publishing,
I still say this John Doe person is a myth.
You can quote me on that.
I'm going to insist on his being produced for questioning.
You know as well as I do that this whole thing
is being engineered by a vicious man
with a vicious purpose.
Mr. D.B. Norton.
Mr. Connell and Miss Mitchell are at the house, sir.
Oh, they are? Come on.
Personally, I think it's stupidity to drop it now.
His fan mail is in the thousands. It's going like a house afire.
What are you afraid of, Connell? It's doubled our circulation.
But it's got everybody sore.
Ads are being pulled. Governor's starting a libel suit.
They all know he's a phony and insist on seeing him.
Let them see him? We'll let them hear him.
You own a radio station. Why not put him on the air?
Watch out for this dame, D.B., she'll drive you batty.
We can't let them start pumping this bush league pitcher.
No telling what that screwball might do.
I walk in yesterday, he's on a table with a fishing pole,
fly-casting.
Get him out of town before this thing explodes in our faces.
You do and you're as much of a dumb cluck as he is. Excuse me.
- You got yourself a meal ticket. - Sure it is, I admit...
but it's also a windfall for Mr. Norton who wants into politics.
That's why you bought the paper, to reach a lot of people?
Put John Doe on the air and you'll reach 130 million.
He can say anything he wants.
Forget the Governor and the Mayor and all the small fry.
This can arouse national interest.
If he made a hit here, he can do it around the country.
And you'll be pulling the strings, Mr. Norton.
Arrange for some radio time.
- D.B... - As soon as possible.
Okay. I just came in to get warm myself.
Come on, let's go.
Don't you go. I want to talk to you.
Sit down.
This John Doe idea was yours, wasn't it?
Yes, sir.
- How much money do you get? - 30 dollars.
30 dollars.
Well, what are you after? I mean...
- You want a journalistic career? - Money.
Money. Well, I'm glad to hear somebody admit it.
Could you write a radio speech to put that fellow over?
- I'm sure I can. - Do and I'll give you 100 a week.
- 100 dollars. - That's only the beginning.
Play your cards right and you'll never worry about money again.
I knew it.
Whenever there's a pretty woman around...
This is my nephew, Ted Sheldon. Miss Mitchell.
- How do you do? - How do you do?
I'll give you a break, Casanova. See Miss Mitchell gets a car home.
Always reading my mind.
Thank you for everything.
And Miss Mitchell,
from now on, you better work directly from me.
Yes, sir.
- I thought you were asleep. - We want to say goodnight.
You little brats, you're just stalling.
Come, children. It's past your bedtime.
Oh, all right.
Come on, come on.
If Scootch will stay for me, I'm done.
I'll never get this speech right.
Yes you will, Ann dear. You're very clever.
Yeah, I know. What are you looking for?
Your purse. I need ten dollars.
What for? I gave you fifty the other day.
I know, but Mrs. Burke had her baby yesterday. Nine pounds.
There wasn't a thing in the house.
Then, the Community Chest lady came.
And the 50 dollars is gone. Who's the 10 for?
- The Websters. - The Websters.
You remember those lovely people your father used to take care of?
I thought I'd buy them groceries.
Ann, it's a shame those poor...
You're marvelous, just like father used to be.
You realize a couple of weeks ago we didn't have enough to eat?
But these people are in such need and we have plenty now.
If you mean the 1,000 dollars, forget it. It's practically gone.
We owed everybody in town.
You got to stop giving all your money away.
Oh, Ann dear.
I'm sorry, Ma. Don't pay any attention to me.
I guess I'm just all upset about all this.
Here I am with a great opportunity to get somewhere,
to give you security for once, and I'm stuck.
If I could put this over, Mrs. Burke can have six babies.
- The speech you're writing? - Yeah. I can't get it to gel.
I created somebody who's giving up his life for a principle.
Thousands of people are going to listen to him over the radio,
and unless he says something sensational,
it's just no good.
I don't know what kind of speech you're going to write,
but from the samples I've read, I don't think anybody will listen.
What?
There are so many complaining, political speeches.
People are tired of hearing doom and despair on the radio.
If you're going to have him say anything,
why not something simple and real, with hope in it?
Your father were alive, he'd know.
Yeah.
Father certainly would.
Wait a minute.
That's your father's diary, Ann.
Father's...? I never knew he had a diary.
Enough for 100 speeches.
Things people ought to hear now.
Be careful of it, won't you.
It's always helped to keep your father alive for me.
You bet I will, Ma.
We wanna see him!
Wait a minute, John Doe don't want to sign autographs.
- Well, what does he do all day? - What does he do all day?
- He's writing out his memories. - Please!
Sorry, lady. You can't see Mr. Doe. He wants to be alone.
No, he sits around all day and commutes with himself.
Ball!
I don't know how you'll stand it here till after Christmas.
You ain't heard a train whistle in two weeks.
Strike!
I know why you're hanging around.
You're stuck on the girl.
All I guy needs is to get hooked up with a woman.
Was that a single?
First baseman dropped the ball.
Butterfingers!
Tough luck, pal.
Guy has a woman on his hands,
first thing he knows his life is balled up with more things.
Furniture.
Did you get him?
You're out!
- This the end of the 8th? - The 9th.
Beany, a couple of mugs from the Chronicle are snooping around.
Come on, Angel Face.
- What's the score, Angel Face? - 3 to 2, our favor.
Gee, that's great!
You got swell form. Must have been a good pitcher.
Pretty good? I was about ready for the majors when I chipped
a bone in my elbow. Got it pitching a 19 inning game.
- 19? - Yeah.
A major league scout was watching.
He came down after with a contract.
You know what? I couldn't lift my arm to sign it.
- I'll be okay when I'm fixed up. - Yeah, it's too bad.
What do you mean 'too bad'?
That you'll never play again.
What are you talking about? I just told you...
You know how they are in baseball if a guy's mixed up in a racket.
Racket? What do you mean?
I was thinking about this John Doe business.
As soon as it comes out it's all a fake,
you'll be washed up in baseball, won't you?
Yeah.
Doggone. I never thought about that.
- Gosh! - And what about the kids?
The kids that idolize ball players?
What will they think about ya?
Yeah.
Hey, Colonel.
Did you hear that?
I got to figure some way out of this thing.
Elevators are still running.
- I know one way you can do it. - How?
When you get on the radio,
all you have to do is say the whole thing's a frame-up
Make you a hero, sure as you're born.
Yeah, but how am I going to get my arm fixed?
That's a cinch.
I know somebody who'll give you 5,000 dollars
- to tell the truth on the radio. - 5,000 dollars.
Yeah, 5,000 dollars and he gets it right away.
Don't have to wait till Christmas.
Look out, Long John, they're closing in on you.
Say, who's putting up this dough?
Fella runs the Chronicle.
Here's the speech you make all written for you.
5,000 dollars.
Holy mackerel! I can see the Heelots coming.
The whole army of them.
It's on the level.
No, I'm sorry, tickets for the broadcast are all gone.
Phone the Bulletin.
Sorry, no more tickets left.
All set for the big night? Swell!
- Turn around. Now stand still. - Hold it, Mr. Doe.
Big smile, Mr. Doe.
- Okay, Beany, that's enough. - Alright, scram now.
John, here's the speech. It's in caps and double spaced.
You'll have no trouble reading it.
Not nervous, are you? Of course not, he wouldn't be.
- Who? - John Doe. The one in there.
Don't let your knees rattle. It picks up on the mike.
You needn't be nervous. Remember to be sincere.
- It's for you, Miss Mitchell. - Okay.
Hello? Yes, mother. Thank you, darling.
There he is, the poor dear man.
Good luck to you, Mr. Doe. We are all for you.
The girls all decided
that you're not to jump off any roof at all.
- Got the speech I gave ya? - Yeah.
I'll give the money to the Colonel
as soon as you get started.
We'll have a car waiting at the side entrance for you.
How'd you get in here?
- Just came to wish him luck. - Come on, out! Out!
Mother says 'good luck', too.
John, when you read the speech, please believe every word.
He turned out to be wonderful.
- Who? - John Doe, the one in the speech.
Know something? I've actually fallen in love with him.
All right, there he is, sister. Plenty of bulk.
- What's the idea? - No, that's too much.
No, not so much. Now come on.
This is no time for cheap publicity, Mr. Connell.
If that guy lays an egg, I want something out of it.
I'm getting a Jane Doe ready.
Come on, will you fellas? Give me a chance.
Just one more, please?
Fine honey, you go ahead.
How you doing?
Alright Beany, bring them in.
Holy smoke! Half a Heelot.
There you are, boss. Symbols of little people.
- Okay, get 'em up. - Alright little fella.
This is ridiculous, Mr. Connell. He's on the air in a few minutes.
You'll get all your pictures after.
Come on, Ed.
Come on. That's right.
- Pictures afterwards. - Thank you very much.
Come on, Snooks. You better bail out.
Goodbye, Mr. Doe.
- Beany! - Alright, alright.
Get ready. One minute to go.
And the score's nothing to nothing.
Now please, John. You won't let me down, will ya?
Will ya?
Of course you won't.
If you just think of yourself as the real John Doe...
Everything in that speech are things a man believed in.
It was my father, John.
And when he talked, people listened.
And they'll listen to you, too.
Funny...
you know what my mother said?
She said to look into your eyes, that I'd see my father there.
- What do you say? - Okay, we're coming.
Listen, John. You're a pitcher. Get in there and pitch.
Good luck.
Let him through.
Let's get out of here. The door's right there.
- What are you doing here? - That's what I'd like to know.
- Come on, out! - He's a friend of mine.
Never mind. Let him alone.
I'll be over there pulling for you.
No, John, over here.
Stand by.
Phone the Chronicle. Tell 'em to get the Extras out.
Good evening, Kenneth Fry speaking for the New Bulletin.
Tonight we give you something entirely new and different.
Beside me is the young man who has declared publicly that
on Christmas Eve he will suicide,
giving as his reason, quote:
"I protest against the state of civilization."
End quote.
Ladies and gentlemen, the New Bulletin presents
the man who is fast becoming the most talked about person
in the country, John Doe.
Ladies and gentlemen...
I am the man you all know as John Doe.
I took that name because it seems to describe...
because it seems to describe
the average man, and that's me.
And that's me.
Well, it was me before I said I was going to jump off
the City Hall roof on Christmas Eve.
I guess I'm not average anymore.
Now I'm getting all sorts of attention, from big shots too.
We've been double crossed.
The Mayor and Governor, for instance, they don't like
- ...those articles I wrote. - You're an impostor, young fella!
It's a pack of lies you're telling!
Who wrote that speech for you?
Beany, get that guy!
...publicity stunt for the Bulletin.
Spencer.
Ladies and gentlemen, the disturbance you just heard
was caused by someone in the audience heckling Mr. Doe.
The speech will continue.
Well, people like the Governor...
people like the Governor and that fella can stop worrying.
I'm not gonna talk about them. I'm gonna talk about us,
the average man, the John Does.
If anybody ever asked you what the average John Doe is like,
you couldn't tell him because he's a million and one things.
He's Mr. Big and Mr. Small.
He's simple and he's wise. He's inherently honest,
but he's got a streak of larceny in his heart.
He seldom walks up to a public telephone without shoving
his finger in the slot to see if somebody left a nickel.
He's the man the ads are written for,
the fella everybody sells things to.
He's Joe Dokes, the world's greatest stooge,
and the world's greatest strength.
Yes, sir...
Yes, sir, we're a great family, the John Does.
We're the meek who are... supposed to inherit the earth.
You'll find us everywhere. We raise the crops, dig the mines,
work the factories, keep the books, fly the planes,
and drive the buses. When a cop yells "Stand back, you",
he means us, the John Does.
What kind of a speech is that? Didn't you read it?
We've existed since time began. We built the Pyramids,
we saw Christ crucified,
pulled the oars for Roman emperors,
sailed the boats for Columbus,
retreated from Moscow with Napoleon,
and froze with Washington at Valley Forge.
Yes, sir,
we've been in there dodging left hooks
since before History began to walk.
In our struggle for freedom we've hit the canvas many a time,
but we always bounce back because we're the people and we're tough.
They've started a lot of talk about free people going soft,
that we can't take it. That's a lot of hooey!
Free people can beat the world at anything from war
to tiddlywinks if we all pull in the same direction.
I know a lot of you are saying: What can I do?
I'm just a little punk. I don't count.
You're dead wrong. Little punks have always counted
because in the long run the character of a country
is the sum total of the character of it's little punks.
But we've all got to get in there and pitch.
We can't win the old ball game unless we have team work,
and that's where every John Doe comes in.
It's up to him to get together with his team mate,
and your team mate, my friends,
is the guy next door to you.
Your neighbor, he's a terribly important guy.
You and he need each other,
so call him up. If he's sick, call on him.
If he's hungry, feed him.
If he's out of a job, find him one.
To most of you, your neighbor is a stranger.
A guy with a barking dog and a high fence around him.
You can't be a stranger to a guy that's on your own team.
So tear down the fence that separates you.
Tear it down and you'll tear down a lot of hates and prejudices.
Tear down all the fences
and you'll really have teamwork.
I know a lot of you are saying to yourselves:
"He's asking for a miracle.
He's expecting people to change all of a sudden."
Well, you're wrong.
It's no miracle. It's no miracle...
because I see it happen once a year and so do you,
at Christmas time.
There's something swell about the spirit of Christmas.
To see what it does to people, all kinds of people.
Now why can't that spirit,
that same warm Christmas spirit, last the whole year round?
Gosh!
If it ever did, if each and every John Doe
made that spirit last 365 days,
we'd develop such a strength,
we'd create such a tidal wave of goodwill that no human force
could stand against it.
Yes sir, my friends,
the meek can only inherit the earth
when the John Does start loving their neighbors.
You better start right now.
Don't wait till the game is called on account of darkness.
Wake up, John Doe, you're the hope of the world.
John, you were wonderful.
Bravo! Bravo!
- Let's get out of here. - Now you're talking.
Gangway, you Heelots!
I knew you'd wake up sooner or later.
Boy, am I glad we got out of that mess.
I had the 5,000 all sewed up. Could've gone to Doc Brown.
"You're a pitcher.", she says. "Go in and pitch."
What a sucker!
She's a Heelot just like the rest. Lucky you got away from her.
What was I doing making a speech, anyway? Me?
- The more I think about it...! - Tear town all the fences.
If you tore one picket off your neighbor's fence, he'd sue you.
5,000 bucks, had it right in my hand.
What do you mean "he ran away"?
Find him. That man is terrific.
Columbia River, here we come!
- Jitterbugs. - Yeah.
- How much money we got left? - Four bits.
- Better make it doughnuts, huh? - Yeah.
What'll it be, gents?
Have you got a couple of steaks about that big and that thick?
Yeah, with hash brown potatoes and tomatoes and apple pie...
- and ice cream and coffee? - And doughnuts, I know.
Hey, Ma! Sinkers, a pair.
Sinkers, a pair. Comin' up.
Glad he took the 't' out of that.
Look at that.
Join the John Doe Club.
John Doe Club?
Are you John Doe?
- Who? - John Doe.
You need glasses, buddy.
It's the spitting image of John Doe.
Yeah, but his name's Willoughby.
I'm John Willoughby. I'm a baseball player.
No, I'd know that voice anywhere. You can't kid me.
You're John Doe.
Ma!
Ma! That's John Doe!
- John Doe! - Sitting right there, big as life.
- Who'd you say it was? - John Doe. The big guy there.
That's John Doe.
It's John Doe!
John Doe!
John Doe!
Operator, Dan Beaver. Call everybody in town.
John Doe was just in my place. Yeah, he ordered doughnuts.
You're all here to see John Doe and you're all neighbors,
but my office is packed like a sardine box.
What does John Doe look like, Mr. Mayor?
He's one of those great, big, outdoor type men.
You can't see him, you didn't vote for me. What are you doing?
Get off my front porch. Mr. Norton come yet?
What's keeping him? Should've been here 15 minutes ago.
There he comes now.
Everybody on your dignity.
Don't disgrace our little town. We gotta show off.
Better let me talk to him.
Present it to him as a great cause for the common man.
Here he comes. Give him room, folks.
Here they come. Here's Mr. Norton.
How do you do, Mr. Norton? I'm the Mayor.
The crowd back there!
Let me to, you darn fool. I'm the Mayor.
I'm Mayor Hawkins! Your office phoned me to hold him.
- That's fine. How is he? - He's fine. He's in my office.
It's a big honor having John Doe here, and you too.
Haven't had so much excitement since the old City Hall burnt down.
People so excited, they nearly tore his clothes off.
Matilda, phone the newspapers. Tell them Mr. Norton's here.
Step inside my office, Mr. Norton.
It should be comfortable. I just had it air-conditioned.
Make room for Mr. Norton.
Gangway, gangway.
The neighbors are serving him a light lunch.
Hello, John.
Hello.
Mr. Mayor, if you don't mind, we'd like to talk to him alone.
Certainly. Everybody clear out!
Everybody, quickly now. Come on.
Come on.
That's right. Come on.
Don't argue with me here. Wait till we get home.
You can't push me around, even though I am your wife!
Mr. Norton, you got a nerve having these people hold us here.
Nobody's holding you here.
- It's only natural you... - In that case, let's get going.
Incidentally, my name isn't Doe. It's Willoughby.
Look, John. Something important's happened.
They're forming John Doe Clubs. We know of 8 and they say...
John Doe Clubs? What for?
To carry out the principles in your radio speech.
I don't care, I'm on my way and I don't like being stopped.
You don't how big this is.
You should see the thousands of telegrams about you.
Look, it started as a circulation stunt, didn't it?
You got your circulation. Why don't you let me alone?
It started as a circulation stunt but it isn't anymore.
Mr. Norton wants to back it, sponsor clubs all over the country.
He wants to send you on a lecture tour.
Me?
Certainly. With you ability to influence people,
it might grow into a glorious movement.
Let's get something straight.
I don't want any part of this.
If you think I'm lecturing people, you're crazy.
Baseball's my racket and I'm sticking to it.
Colonel, let's get out of here.
John.
Please, I just got rid of one crowd.
Please, Mr. Mayor, tell him the John Doe Club
wants to talk to him.
Let them in, Mr. Mayor.
Okay, but remember your manners. No stampeding.
Walk slow, like you do when you come to pay your taxes.
All right. Give me a chance.
Come right in.
My name's Bert Hansen, Mr. Doe.
I'm head soda-jerker at Schwabacher's drugstore.
Well, sir...
me and my wife, we heard your broadcast
and we got quite a bang out of it. Especially my wife.
Kept me up half the night saying: "That man's right, honey.
Trouble is, nobody gives a hoot about his neighbor.
That's why everybody in town is sore and cranky with each other."
I said: "That's fine, but how's a guy
gonna go around lovin' the kind of neighbors we got?"
Old Sourpuss, for instance.
Sourpuss Smithers is a guy, lives alone next door to us.
He's a cranky old man who runs the second hand furniture store.
We haven't spoken to him for years.
I figured he was an ornery old gent who hated the world
'cause was always slamming his garage door
and played his radio so loud it kept half the neighbors up.
Anyway, the next morning I'm out watering the lawn
and there's old Sourpuss,
straightening out a dent in his fender.
My wife yells to me out the window:
"Go on, speak to him, Bert."
I figured I can't lose anything, so I yelled over to him:
"Good morning, Mr. Smithers." He went on pounding his fender.
Was I burned! I turned round to my wife and she said:
"Louder, he didn't hear you."
So in a voice you could've heard in the next county I said:
"Good morning, Mr. Smithers!"
Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather.
Old Sourpuss turned around, surprised like,
put on a big smile,
came over, took my hand like an old lodge brother and said:
"Good morning, Hansen,
I've been wanting to talk for years only I thought you didn't like me."
Then he started chatting away like a happy little kid.
Got so excited his eyes...
Well, before we got through I found out that Smithers
is a swell egg only he's pretty deaf which accounts for the noises.
He says it's a shame how little we know about our neighbors.
Then he got an idea. He say: "How's about...
inviting everybody some place where we can all
get together and know each other a little better.
I feel so good, I'm up for it.
So Smithers goes around the neighborhood
inviting everybody to a meeting at the schoolhouse.
And I tell everybody that comes into the store,
including my boss.
- I'm talking too much. - No, you're not.
Come on.
Well I'll be doggone if forty people don't show up.
Course, none of us knew what to do,
but we got a kick out of how glad everybody was
just to say hello to one another.
Tell him about making Sourpuss chairman, honey.
Oh yeah, we made Sourpuss chairman
and decided to call ourselves the John Doe Club.
Incidentally, this is my wife. Come here, honey.
This is my wife, Mr. Doe.
How do you do, Mr. Doe?
- Sourpuss is here, too. - Oh, is he?
This is Sourpuss. Excuse me. Mr. Smithers, Mr. Doe.
If you didn't call me Sourpuss, it wouldn't feel natural.
Well, I guess...
everybody in the neighborhood came except the Delaneys.
They live in a big house with an iron fence around it
and they always keep their blinds drawn.
We figured he was an old miser that sat back
counting his money, so why bother inviting him?
Until Grimes the milkman said:
"You got the Delaneys all wrong."
Then he tells us they cancelled their milk last week,
and he found a note on the bottle,
got curious and peeked under the blinds
and found the house was empty.
"If you ask me", he says, " they're starving."
Old man Delaney's been bringing his furniture to me at night,
one piece at a time and selling it.
A half a dozen of us went over there to fetch him
and we brought him to the meeting.
Everybody shook hands and made a fuss over them.
Well, finally...
Mr. and Mrs. Delaney sat right down and cried.
Then we started to find out about a lot of other people.
- Sure, Grubbel, for instance. - Grubbel's here.
- See? - Yeah, that's him.
Of course, you don't know Grubbel, but...
he's the man everybody figured
was the worst no-account in the neighborhood
because he lived like a hermit.
Nobody had anything to do with him
until Murphy the postman told us the truth.
Grubbel, he says, lives out of garbage cans
because he won't take charity. It'd ruin his self respect.
Just like you said on the radio, Mr. Doe.
A dozen families got together and gave Grubbel a job
watering their lawns.
Then we found jobs for six other people
and they've all gone off relief.
And my boss, Mr. Schwabacher,
made a job in his warehouse for old man Delaney.
- And he gave you a 5 dollar raise. - Yeah. Isn't that swell?
Why, Bert...
I feel slighted. Nobody asked me to join.
Sorry, Mayor, we voted no politician could join.
Just John Does of the neighborhood.
You know how politicians are.
The reason we wanted to tell you this, Mr. Doe,
was to give you an idea of what you started.
From where I'm sitting,
I don't see any sense in you jumping off any building.
No!
Thank you for listening.
Goodbye, Mr. Doe.
You're a wonderful man.
It strikes me you'd be useful walking around for a while.
Goodbye, Mr. Doe.
I'm Mrs. Delaney, Mr. Doe.
God bless you, my boy.
I'm all mixed up.
I don't get it.
All those swell people think I'm gonna jump off a building.
I never had any such idea.
Gosh!
A fella would have to be a fine example to tell others...
What happened the other night was on account of Miss Mitchell.
She wrote the stuff.
Don't you see what a wonderful thing this can be?
- But we need you, John. - You're hooked.
I can see that. They got you. Well, I'm through.
3 years I been trying to get you up to the Columbia River country.
First it was your glass arm, then the radio, now the Clubs.
I ain't waiting another minute.
Gangway, you Heelots!
Colonel, wait a minute.
Hey, Colonel!
I want you to go with John Doe and Miss Mitchell
and handle press and radio.
- Me? - Yes, I won't take any chances.
- And Johnson. - Yes, D.B.?
Your crew will mop up, follow John Doe into every town,
see the clubs are organized and charters issued.
There are 8 flags there now.
I want to see that map covered before we get through.
This has grown like wildfire. I'd understand demands,
but the John Does ask for nothing.
People are going off relief. It keeps up, I'm out of a job.
When John Doe gets strong enough, we'll find out what he wants.
Thirty every Thursday, sixty at sixty!
Who knows what?
Sorry, boss, they won't let anybody talk politics with him. It's crazy.
We've got to get to them.
They represent millions of voters.
Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a prairie fire.
We've got so many applications for John Doe charters
we can't take care of them.
I'd hate to have that many pins stuck in me.
This John Doe convention is going to put our city on the map.
2,400 John Doe Clubs are sending delegates. Imagine!
Mr. Mayor, you will be the host. Decorate the city, parades...
and a reception for John Doe when he gets home.
And don't wear your high hat.
- No high hat? - No high hat.
And Connell, I want a John Doe edition every day
until the convention is over.
And now please step into the outer office
and look your prettiest for the photographers.
Don't worry, D.B., everything'll be taken care of.
Isn't it all too wonderful?
Mr. Mayor, step down in front, please.
You ladies get close to him.
- I don't get it. - Get what?
I'm meant to know my way around.
This John Doe movement's cost you a fortune.
The convention will cost plenty.
Well?
I'm stuck with 2 and 2 and I can't make 4 out of it.
Where do you come in?
I have the satisfaction of knowing
my money has been spent for a worthy cause.
I see. I better stick to running the paper, huh?
I think you better had.
Connell,
I'd like to have the John Doe contract,
receipts for money we advanced for Miss Mitchell's letter
for which I gave her 1,000.
Yes, sure.
We leave for the airport in half an hour.
Is that Johnny boy's room? Better hustle him up.
He'll be ready. He's packing.
- See his photo on the cover of Time? - Yeah.
I gotta give you credit, Annie.
I've handled many big promotions in my time,
from the World's Fair to a Channel swimmer,
but this has got me spinning.
And now, a John Doe convention.
If you could get him to jump off City Hall on Christmas Eve,
I'd guarantee you half a million people there.
- Charlie? - Hmm?
What do you make of him?
Johnny boy?
I don't know what angle you want but I'll give it to you quick.
One, he's got great yokel appeal, but he's a nice guy.
Two, he's beginning to believe he wrote that suicide letter
that you made up.
Three, he thinks you're Joan of Arc or something.
I know.
Four, well...
you know what number four is. He's nuts about you.
It's runnin' out of his ears.
You left out five. We're all heels, me especially.
Holy smoke.
Come in.
I'm all packed.
Good, I'll get Beany boy.
Okay, Charlie boy.
Can I help you pack?
No, thank you.
- Care if I sit down, out here? - No.
You know,
I had a crazy dream last night.
It was about you.
About me?
Sure was crazy.
I dreamt I was your father.
There was something I was trying to stop you from doing.
So, I got out of bed,
I walked right through the wall, straight into your room.
You know how dreams are.
You were there in bed,
but you were a girl, about 10...
and very pretty, too.
I shook you and...
the moment you opened your eyes, you hopped out of bed
and started running like the devil. In your nightgown!
You ran out the window, over the tops of buildings
and roofs for miles and I was chasing you.
All the time you were running, you kept growing bigger
and bigger and bigger.
Soon you were as big as you are now, you know? Grown up?
And all the time
I'm asking myself: "What am I chasing her for?"
And I didn't know.
Isn't that a hot one?
Anyway, you ran into some place and I ran in after you.
When I got there, you were getting married.
The nightgown had changed into
a beautiful wedding gown.
You sure looked pretty, too.
Then I knew what I was trying to stop you from doing.
Dreams are crazy, aren't they?
Well,
like to know who you were marrying?
A tall handsome Ubangi, I suppose.
Not that bad. It was the fella that sends you flowers every day.
What's his name? Mr. Norton's nephew?
- Ted Sheldon. - Yeah, that's the one.
But here's the funniest part.
I was the fella there, doing the marrying.
- Justice of the Peace or something. - You were?
I thought you were chasing me.
Yes, I was your father then,
but the real me, John Doe, that is...
Long John Willoughby, was the fella with a book.
- You know what I mean? - I guess so.
Then what happened?
Well, I took you across my knee and started spankin' ya.
That is, I didn't do it...
I mean I did do it. See, I was your father then.
I had you across my knee and I said:
"Annie,
I won't allow you to marry a man
that's just rich
or that has his secretary send you flowers.
The man you marry has got to swim rivers for you,
climb mountains for you, slay dragons for you.
He's got to perform wonderful deeds for you!
All the time, the guy up there with the book, me,
stood there noddin' his head
and he said: "Go to it, whack her for me.
That's the way I feel too."
He says: "Come down and whack her yourself."
So I came down and whacked you a good one.
See? He whacked and I whacked.
We both started whacking you...
If you're through whacking her, let's get going.
Okay, right in here.
You go out the side entrance. Autograph seekers out front.
We'll be down with the bags in a minute.
Come on, don't make a Government project out of this.
Hi, Beany.
- When's our plane take off? - Couple of minutes.
How many people have we talked to already,
outside the radio, I mean?
I don't know. About 300,000.
300,000.
What makes them do it, Ann?
What makes them come and listen
and get up John Doe Clubs?
I've been trying to figure it out.
Look, John...
we're handing them platitudes they've heard a million times.
Love thy neighbor, clouds have silver linings,
- turn the other cheek. It's just... - I heard 'em a million times,
but maybe they're like me,
just beginning to get an idea
what those things mean.
I never really thought about the people before.
They were just somebody to fill up the bleachers.
Only time I worried about them
was when they didn't see me pitch.
You know,
lately I've been watching them when I talk to them.
I see something in their faces.
I could feel that...
they were hungry for something.
You know what I mean?
Maybe that's why they came.
Maybe they're lonely and...
wanted somebody to say hello to.
I know how they feel.
I've been lonely and hungry for something all my life.
All aboard, folks.
- We'll have the city behind us. - Yeah, that's true.
- Somebody else sitting here? - No, that's your seat.
And this is your coat.
- Mine? - A little token of appreciation.
It's beautiful, D.B.
- I don't quite know what to say. - Say nothing, just sit down.
Go ahead, open it.
It's lovely.
And a new contract goes with it.
Well, spring it.
Something's on your mind.
Must be stupendous.
That's what I like about her. Right to the point.
Practical Annie, here it is.
Tomorrow night, before a crowd of 15,000,
and over a nationwide radio hook-up, John Doe
will announce the formation of a third party.
A third party?
Yes, the John Doe Party,
devoted entirely to the interests of
John Does all over the country.
Which practically means...
90o/o of the voters.
He'll also announce this party's
candidate for the presidency.
A man who he personally recommends.
A great humanitarian.
The best friend the John Does have.
Mr. D.B. Norton.
Yes.
Wow!
The opening of the convention is only hours off.
The delegates are pouring into the ball park with lunch baskets,
banners and petitions asking John Doe
not to jump off any roof.
No matter how you look at it, it's still a phenomenal movement.
These John Does or 'hoy polloi', as you've heard people call them,
have been laughed at and ridiculed.
But here they are gay and happy, having traveled 1,000s of miles,
their expenses paid by their neighbors to come
to pay homage to their hero.
In these days of wars and bombings, it's a hopeful sign
that a simple idea like this can sweep the country.
An idea based on friendliness, on giving and not taking,
on helping your neighbor and asking nothing in return.
If this can happen, don't let your grumbling friends
tell you that humanity is falling apart.
This is John B. Hughes returning you to our main studio
until 9 o'clock when the convention officially opens.
John, come in.
Say, I'm kind of...
It's raining out a little.
That's all right.
Good to see you. Sit down.
Thanks.
It's for Ann.
- How nice. Thank you very much. - Flowers.
I'm terribly sorry she isn't here.
She isn't?
She just left. I'm surprised you didn't run into her.
She went to Mr. Norton's house.
Is it important?
Yeah. Well, no. It'll wait.
He's a nice man, isn't he? Mr. Norton, I mean.
He's done a lot for the...
Say, my coat's pretty wet.
I might have wet the couch.
I'll see her at the convention.
Yes, I'll see she gets the flowers.
Thanks.
- Good night, Mrs. Mitchell. - Good night, John.
Mrs. Mitchell...
I'm kind of glad Ann isn't here.
You see, I came here hoping to see her alone
and kind of hoping I wouldn't.
I wanted to talk to her.
It can wait, I guess.
- Good night. - Good night, John.
Mrs. Mitchell, have you ever been married?
Well, sure you have.
That's pretty silly.
Guess you think I'm batty.
I guess I better be going.
John...
my husband said: "I love you. Will you marry me?"
He did?
- What happened? - I married him.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
It was easy as all that?
Yeah, but look Mr. Mitchell...
I love Ann,
and it's gonna be hard for me to say it 'cause...
she's so wonderful
and the best I ever was was a bush league pitcher.
And I think she's in love with another man,
the one she made up. The real John Doe.
That's pretty tough competition.
I bet he'd know how to say it.
But me, I get up to it and around and in back of it,
but I never get right to it. You know what I mean?
So the only chance I've got,
well, if somebody could give her a warning.
Prepare her for the shock?
You'd like me to do it?
Well, I was thinking, sort of break the ice.
Of course I will, John.
Thank you, Mrs. Mitchell.
Hey, you're okay.
The John Doe meeting will be one of the biggest things ever.
They're coming from all over: trains, boxcars, wagons.
Look out!
- Hello, bodyguards. Had dinner? - Not yet.
- That's all right. - No, go and have dinner.
Wait a minute, John.
- Hello, Mr. Connell. - How are you, John?
I want to have a little talk with you.
What's the matter? Are you falling?
- Hey, Boss. - Oh, quiet, quiet.
Did you read the speech you're going to make tonight?
No, I never read the speeches before I make them.
I get more of a kick out of it.
Exactly what I thought.
Beany, go to the office, tell Pop to give you the speech.
Mr. Norton told me not to leave him, even for a minute.
Go on, go on. We'll be at Jim's Bar, up the street.
You're a nice guy, John.
I like you. You're gentle.
I always like gentle people.
Me... I'm hard.
Hard and tough.
I got no use for hard people.
Gotta be gentle to suit me.
Like you, for instance.
Yep, I'm hard. But you want to know something?
I've got a weakness.
You'd never guess. Well, I have.
Wanna know what it is?
"The Star Spangled Banner."
Screwy, huh? Maybe it is.
Play it and I'm a sucker for it.
Always gets me right here. You know what I mean?
Yeah, it gets me right back here.
Back there, huh?
Well, every man to his own taste.
You weren't old enough
for the world war.
No, of course not.
You must have been just a kid.
I was.
I was just ripe...
and raring to go.
Know what my old man did when I joined up?
He joined up too.
Got to be a sergeant.
We were in the same outfit.
Funny, huh?
He was killed, John.
I saw him get it.
I was right there and saw it with my own eyes.
I came out without a scratch.
That is, excepting my ulcers.
I should be drinking milk. This stuff is poison.
Hey, Jimmy!
- Yes, Mr. Connell? - What do you say?
All right.
I'm a sucker for this country.
For "The Star Spangled Banner" and this country.
I like what we got here.
I like it!
A guy can say what he wants
and do what he wants without getting a bayonet in his belly.
And that's all right.
- You betcha. - Yeah.
And we don't anybody changing that, do we?
- No, sir. - No, sir.
When they do, I get mad,
I get boiling mad.
Right now, I'm sizzling.
I get mad for a lot of other guys besides myself.
I get mad for a guy named Washington.
And a guy named Jefferson
and Lincoln.
Lighthouses, John.
Lighthouses in a foggy world.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you bet.
Listen, pal.
This fifth column stuff is pretty rotten, isn't it?
Yeah, it certainly is.
You'd feel like an awful sucker marching in the middle of it,
wouldn't you?
You! You wouldn't know
because you're gentle.
But that's what you're doing.
You're mixed up with a skunk, my boy.
A no-good, dangerous skunk.
You're not talking about Norton?
I'm not talking about his grandfather's pet poodle.
You must be wrong, Mr. Connell.
He's been marvelous about the John Doe Clubs.
Yeah.
You're sold on this John Doe idea?
- Sure. - Yeah, I don't blame you.
It's a beautiful miracle,
a miracle that can only happen
right here in the good old U.S.A,
and I think it's terrific. What do you think of that?
Me, hard-boiled Connell,
and I think it's plenty terrific.
Alright. Now suppose an unmentionable worm,
who's initials
are D.B.,
was trying to use that to
shove his way into the White House.
So he could put the screws on.
So he could turn out the lights in the lighthouses.
What would you say about that?
Nobody's gonna do that.
They can't use the John Doe Clubs for politics.
- That's the main idea. - Is that so?
Then what's a big political boss like Hammett doing in town?
And a labor leader like Bennett. And lots of other big shots
that are up at D.B.'s house right now.
Wolves, John. Wolves.
Waiting to cut up the John Does.
Wait till you get a gander at your speech tonight.
You're all wet. Miss Mitchell writes the speeches.
Nobody can make her write that.
They can't?
Who writes 'em, my aunt Emma?
I know she writes them
and gets a big bonus for doing them, too.
A mink coat and diamond bracelet.
Don't write 'em?
Why that gold-grabbing dame would double cross her own mother
- for a handful of Chinese Yams. - Shut up!
If you weren't drunk, I'd...
Hey, Boss.
Here's the speech, Boss.
Read it, and then start sockin'.
Wait, Mr. Doe.
Jimmy.
- Yes, sir. - Better bring me a glass of milk.
I'm smoking too much.
Yes, Charlie. Everything all set?
Fine. John Doe been take care of?
Good.
How many people will be there? 15,000?
Oh my, that's fine.
Listen, Charlie. As soon as John Doe stops talking about me
I want you to start that demonstration, a big one.
Don't worry about that, D.B. My boys are there.
They'll take care of it.
Yes, I'll be there 15 minutes after I get your call.
Why, Mr. Doe!
- Where are they? - In the dining room, sir.
Gentlemen, I think we're ready to throw that big bombshell.
Yeah, it's about time.
A conservative estimate shows
we can count on between 10 and 20 million John Doe votes.
Add that to the labor vote Mr. Bennett will throw in.
And the votes controlled by Mr. Hammett and you gentlemen,
and nothing can stop us.
As I said, I'm with you,
providing you can guarantee the John Doe vote.
- Don't worry about that. - Count on me, on one condition.
Little Bennett is taken care of.
Everybody will be taken care of.
My agreement with you stands.
I'm with you, D.B.,
but I still think it's a daring thing we're attempting.
Daring times, Mr. Barrington.
We come to a new order of things. Too much talk in this country.
Too many concessions made.
What the American people need is an iron hand.
You're right, that's true.
You're right, D.B.
Discipline!
And now may I offer a toast to Miss Ann Mitchell,
the brilliant and beautiful lady who's responsible for all this.
Miss Mitchell.
Mr. Norton, I'd like to talk to you alone for a minute.
Miss Mitchell has something to say to us.
That's fine. Speech!
Hello.
John, I'm glad to see you. I was terribly worried.
Did you write this?
Yes I did, John, but I had no idea what was going on.
- You didn't? - No.
Swell bracelet you're wearing.
John, why aren't you at the convention?
Is there anything wrong?
No, nothing's wrong.
Everything's fine.
So there's going to be a new order of things, huh?
Everybody's gonna cut himself a nice fat slice of the John Does?
You forgot one detail, Mr. Big Shot.
You forgot me,
the prize stooge of the world.
If you or anybody thinks he's gonna use the John Doe Clubs
for his own rotten purpose, he'll do it over my dead body.
Hold on a minute, young man. That's rather big talk.
I started the John Doe Clubs with my money
and I'll decide whether or not they're being properly used.
No, you won't. You're through deciding anything.
What's more, I'm going down to the convention
and tell those people what you and your fine feathered friends
are cooking up for them.
I'm gonna say it in my own words this time.
He'll ruin us, D.B.!
Wait a minute, fella.
My uncle wants to talk to you.
Listen to me, my son.
Before you lose your head completely,
may I remind you that I picked you up out of the gutter,
and I can throw you right back there again.
You've got a nerve accusing people of things.
These men and I know what's best for the John Does of America
regardless of what tramps like you think.
Get off that righteous horse and come to your senses.
You're the fake. We believe in what we're doing.
You were paid your 30 pieces of silver. Have you forgotten that?
Well, I haven't.
You're a fake, John Doe, and I can prove it.
You're the big hero that's meant to jump off tall buildings.
Remember? What will your precious John Does say
when they find out you never had any intention of doing it?
That you were paid to say so?
You'd be run out of the country.
With the newspapers and radio stations these gentlemen control,
we can kill the John Doe movement deader than a doornail.
We'll do it the moment you step out of line.
You want to go to the convention and shoot your trap off,
go ahead and do it.
You mean, you'd try to kill the John Doe movement
if you can't use it?
Bet your bottom dollar.
That's certainly is a new low.
Guess I've seen everything now.
You sit with your big cigars and think of deliberately killing
an idea that's made millions of people a bit happier.
An idea that's brought thousands here from all over the country.
By bus, train, jalopy and foot
so they can pass on to each other a little of their experiences.
I'm just a mug and I know it,
but I'm beginning to understand a lot of things.
Your types are as old as history.
If you can't lay your dirty fingers on a decent idea,
and squeeze it into your pocket,
like dogs, if you can't eat it, you bury it.
This is the one worthwhile thing that's come along.
People finally find out the guy next door isn't a bad egg.
That's simple, isn't it?
Yet a thing like that has got a chance of spreading
till it touches every human being in the world,
and you talk about killing it.
Well, when this fire dies down, what's going to be left?
More misery, hunger and hate.
And what's to prevent that from starting all over again?
Nobody knows the answer to that and certainly not you,
with those slimy, bollixed up theories you got.
The John Doe idea may be the answer, the one thing
capable of saving this world, and you sit on your fat hulks
and tell me you'll kill it if you can't use it.
Well, go ahead and try. You couldn't do it
in a million years with all your radio stations and your power
because it's bigger than whether I'm a fake or your ambition
and bigger than all the bracelets and fur coats in the world!
You bet it is, John.
That's exactly what I'm going to tell those people.
You ungrateful rat! My uncle's been too good to...
He's getting away.
John!
Get me the Bulletin.
John!
I told you, D.B.,
you're playing with dynamite.
Don't let that girl get away.
Before he gets through tonight, he'll ruin us all.
I'll stop him cold. I've been ready for this.
John!
John, please listen to me.
I can explain. I didn't know what they were going to do.
Let me go with you.
John, please!
Go ahead, driver. Ball park.
Please let me go with you! Please, John.
Please, John.
Mr. Norton wants to see you.
Listen to me, Mayor. I want them both arrested.
Tell the police to pick up Connell. I've got the girl here.
I don't care, charge them. Keep them in jail overnight.
Hello, Bulletin? Put Buck Meyer on.
Three cheers for John Doe.
- Ladies and gentlemen. - One moment, John.
We'll begin with a soft prayer.
Quiet, please.
Ladies and gentlemen,
a moment of silent prayer
for the John Does all over the world,
many of whom are homeless and hungry.
Rise, please.
Everybody rise.
Hundreds of news boys are swarming in like locusts.
They're yelling "John Doe's a fake."
Federal investigation urged by Chamber of Commerce.
- How could he be a fake? - Must be some kind of a gag.
- A what? - A gag!
Come on, step on it!
Step on it!
You all know you're places. Wait for the signal.
- Will you autograph my balloon? - Sure.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is what I came down here to tell you about.
Please, if you all just be quiet for a few minutes,
I can explain this whole thing.
As you all know, this paper is published
by a man by the name of D.B. Norton...
Get back, you!
Everybody, wait a minute.
Ladies and gentlemen,
My name is D.B.Norton.
You all know me.
I accuse this man of being a faker.
We've been taken for suckers and I'm the biggest of the lot!
I spent a fortune backing this man
in what I believed was a sincere and worthy cause, as you all did.
Now I find out it's nothing but a cheap racket,
cooked up by him and two of my employees for the purpose of
collecting dues from John Does all over the country.
That's a lie!
It's not a lie! Nickel and dimes to stuff in their pockets.
You can read about it in the newspapers there.
That's a lie! Don't believe...
This man had no intention of jumping off a building.
He was paid to say so. Do you deny that?
- That's got nothing to do with it. - Were you paid or weren't you?
Yes, I was paid, but...
And the suicide note. You didn't write that either.
- What difference does that make? - Did you write it?
- No, I didn't. - You bet your life you didn't.
Look in your papers and find
Miss Mitchell's signed confession that she wrote it.
I didn't write the letter...
Now you see, he admits it. You're a fake, John Doe.
For what you did to these people,
they ought to run you out of the country.
And I hope they do it.
Speak up, John. We believe you.
Please listen, folks.
Now that he's through shooting off his face,
I got some things to tell you.
The rest of you get in and riot. Break this crowd up.
I'm sorry folks, we can't hear him anymore.
Something's up with the speakers.
John Doe's a fake!
Please. They can't hear me.
This thing's not working.
Ladies and gentlemen...
This thing's bigger than whether I'm a fake.
Bert, you believe me, don't ya?
Sure. I believe you.
Walking my legs off picking up 5,000 signatures for a phony.
There you are, Mr. Doe.
5,000 names asking you not to jump off any roof.
Makes no difference, Bert. The idea's still good.
- We don't have to give it up. - Yeah, you can have it.
They're starting to throw things. Somebody's going to get hurt.
I'm afraid it will be John Doe.
Listen to that mob.
I've got to go to him.
- Sorry, lady. I can't let you out. - Let me go!
Please. They're crucifying him. I can help him!
- We got orders to hold you. - From who? It's a frame-up!
- Ann darling. - Mother, they won't let me go.
They won't let me go.
Listen, folks.
You gotta listen to me!
Back to the jungle, you hobo.
Just another racket!
Stick to your clubs.
We've been fed baloney so long we're getting used to it.
The idea is still good.
Believe me, folks.
John Does were the hope of the world.
A friend got him out of the park.
Be a miracle if he's not hurt.
Ladies and gentlemen, looks like the end of the John Doe movement.
Well, boys, chalk up another one to the Pontius Pilates.
I should have been there.
I could have helped him.
He was so all alone.
We ought to be ashamed of ourselves after tonight.
We didn't give him a chance.
More coffee, Long John?
No thanks, Colonel.
- Fake! - Racketeer!
- Liar! - Cheat!
- Impostor! - Why don't you jump?
Goodbye, Mr. Doe.
You're a wonderful man.
God bless you, my boy.
Now get in there and pitch.
You're a fake and I can prove it.
You're the big hero that's meant to jump off tall buildings.
Remember?
What will your precious John Does say when they find out
you had no intention of doing it?
That you were paid to say so?
Christmas Eve, at midnight.
Merry Christmas, sir.
Oh! Merry Christmas.
Who? John Doe?
Is that screwball still around?
That dame's been calling all day.
Sure, sure, I know. At midnight, huh?
Okay, lady. We'll have the place surrounded with nets.
They're laughing at me.
You're a sick girl, Ann. You better take it easy.
Who are you calling now?
You called that number, not ten minutes ago.
Hello. Mr. Connell. Have you seen him yet?
Listen, Ann. He can't get in without our seeing him.
I'm watching the side door. Colonel's out front. Stop worrying.
Thank you.
- Why Ann! - Ann, don't be foolish.
If this isn't the craziest,
the battiest, the looniest wild goose chase I ever heard of.
Shut up, Bert. Sourpuss is right.
If he is, I'm a banana split.
That man's gonna be on that roof.
Don't ask me how I know. I know as well as you do.
I'd like to believe in fairy tales,
but a guy that's a fake won't jump off any roof.
I don't think he was a fake. Not with that face.
- What he stood for wasn't a fake. - Okay, honey. Okay.
Elevators ain't runnin'.
- Colonel. - You shouldn't be out of bed.
- Has he been here? - No.
- Have you seen him? - Haven't seen him for a week.
- Where's Connell? - He's watching the other door.
You're swell.
No sense going up. I been here for hours. He ain't here.
Let me go, will ya?
That's crazy. It's 14 floors.
It's as far as the elevator goes. We walk up to the tower.
That tramp's probably full of Christmas cheer in a flophouse.
I've got to decorate my tree.
Well, I give up.
I don't what gave us the idea
he'd attempt anything like this.
I guess you're right.
I'm afraid the joke's on us.
I hope nobody finds out we've been here.
I wouldn't do that, John.
It'll do you no good.
The Mayor has police downstairs
with instructions
to remove all identification you may have on your person.
You'll be buried in Potter's Field. You'll have accomplished nothing.
I've already taken care of that.
I mailed a copy of this letter to Mr. Connell.
John, forget this foolishness.
Stop there, Mr. Norton, if you don't want to go over too.
I'm glad you gentlemen are here.
You killed the John Doe movement all right,
but you'll see it born again.
Take a good look, Mr. Norton.
John!
John!
John! Don't do it!
I love you, darling.
Please.
Please don't give up.
We'll start all over again. Just you and I. It isn't too late.
The John Doe movement isn't dead yet.
It isn't dead or they wouldn't be here.
It's alive in them. They kept it alive by being afraid of it.
That's why they came up here.
Oh, darling!
Sure it should have been killed. It was dishonest.
But we can start clean now. Just you and I.
It'll grow, John,
because it'll be honest this time.
John, if it's worth dying for,
it's worth living for.
Please, John!
Please! Please God, help me!
John!
John, look at me!
You want to be honest, don't you?
You don't have to die to keep the John Doe idea alive.
Someone already died for that once. The first John Doe.
And he's kept that idea alive for nearly 2,000 years.
It was he who kept it alive and he'll go on keeping it alive
forever and always.
For every John Doe movement they kill, another will be born.
That's why those bells are ringing.
They're calling to us.
Not to give up, but keep on fighting, keep on pitching.
Don't you see, darling?
This is no time to give up.
You and I John, we...
No!
No, John! If you die, I want to die, too.
I love you!
Mr. Doe, you don't have to...
We're with you, Mr. Doe.
We just lost our heads and acted like a mob.
What Bert's trying to say is that we need you.
A lot of us didn't believe what that man said.
We were going to start up our Club again, with or without you.
Weren't we, Bert? A lot of others will do the same.
Mr. Sourpuss even got a letter from his cousin in Toledo...
I got it right here, Mr. Doe.
Only, it'd be a lot easier with you. Please...
Please come with us, Mr. Doe.
Long John!
Mr. Doe!
- We'll help. She'll be all right. - Take her down to the car.
There you are, Norton. The people! Try and lick that!
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