-This is very exciting, tomorrow is your birthday.
So when this airs, it's technically your birthday.
-Correct. -Happy birthday.
-You're so kind. Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]
-And strangely, though, this counts as a birthday present
to Martha that you're here, so that's --
-Oh, and I do apologize for missing that show.
-Oh, I'm sorry you did. -I'm so sorry.
-It was so heartbreaking because it was genuinely
all "Tudor"-themed cooking.
We had to make hot cross buns.
It was really -- it was heartbreaking.
-Bloody Marys. -Bloody Marys.
Yeah, it was all there.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, it was like --
Yeah, it was like going on a date with someone
who just spent the whole time talking about their ex.
-Oh. [ Laughter ]
-So did you play -- -I've been on that date.
-Yeah, I think we've all been on that date.
So, you play a Mossad agent.
This is a film that takes place
right after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
-Correct.
-So you're -- we can tell in that clip
you are pretending to be a German businessman.
And do you think that after doing this,
do you think you would be a good spy in real life?
Because you're obviously very good with accents and dialects.
-No. I think possibly if I was recruited
straight out of high school. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. You think it's too late?
-I think it's a little bit too late.
But at the same time,
wasn't there a movie called "A Dangerous Mind"?
-Oh, yeah.
-About a guy who was a very famous person,
and at the same time, he was an undercover agent for the CIA.
-Yeah, the Chuck Barris. We don't know if that's true.
-We don't know if that's true, but I love the concept.
Wouldn't it be great if, like, maybe sort of like Tom Cruise
was really a super spy
and he was really doing all of these great things?
-Let's be honest.
If there would a person that would be really exciting
if it was a spy, it would be Martha.
I think that that -- [ Laughter and applause ]
I mean, you have the greatest cover.
-Absolutely. -Yeah.
-I can go in and out of houses easily.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-I know everybody. -Yeah.
You could take pictures of people cabbage.
They won't even think that's weird.
[ Laughter ]
You, now, you are --
Have you sort of always been good at dialects?
Is that something that as an actor came to you easily?
-I play music, and I suppose it helps that you play music.
-Yeah.
-But I'm also Irish,
and most of the parts that I have to play are not Irish.
So you have to constantly learn accents.
-You have -- So you mentioned Ireland.
You obviously -- you used to work on a farm, is that true,
when you were very young?
-Oh, yeah, I was a terrible farmer.
-And so it came -- Was it obvious to you right away?
-It was obvious to everybody. [ Laughter ]
-What is the dead giveaway that someone's bad at farming?
-Someone told me to go out and milk the bull
and I took a bucket and walked out,
and then they just started laughing.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, yeah, that's true.
If you go out to milk a bull they'd probably say,
"You know what we'd love?
We'd love for you to sign up for acting class."
-Yeah. No, and that wasn't the worst one.
Then they told me to go look for a long stand.
-A long stand. -Yeah.
-What's a long stand?
-Just stand there for a long time.
[ Laughter ]
"Go out and get me a long stand," somebody said,
"and a glass hammer." [ Laughter ]
-So you -- you also were doing acting at a very young age?
Yes? -Yes.
I was -- I did my first film, my first-ever time on screen
with Albert Finney.
-Oh, wow! A fantastic actor.
-Magnificent actor, yes.
-So how young were you then when you were with Albert Finney?
-16 years old.
-Okay, that's pretty impressive. -Yeah, he was incredibly nice.
-But you obviously did stage work before then, right?
-No -- no, once.
-Just once? -Just once.
-What was your one stage experience?
-This is my one stage experience
and this is why I've never got any phone calls
from Bertolt Brecht.
But I was -- I was cast as Buttons in the school play
when I was 10 years old, in "Cinderella."
And so I, of course, I wanted to play the part.
And so my mother, my late mother, God rest her soul,
had made a red jacket for me
and this incredibly large, ugly dicky bow.
But previously I had made my first holy communion.
I was brought up Roman Catholic.
But they found out the day
before I made my first holy communion
that I had never had been baptized.
So I went to the church and I was the only boy
who answered back his own baptismal vows to the priest.
[ Laughter ]
He says this has never happened before in all his time.
So for my communion,
my mother bought me these red patent shoes.
I hated wearing them, but my mother that they were fabulous
because my mother really liked Boy George and Wham!
and all these bands.
[ Laughter ]
-And so did -- and so did the Roman Catholic church. Yeah.
-And so did the Roman Catholic church.
So I was a child of the '80s.
So what happened was, I had to go out on stage.
And as I went out on stage, the patent in the shoe
caught the wood of the floor,
and I slid across the entire length of the stage,
two legs up in the air, landed on the flat of my back.
[ Laughter ]
And for half a second, I thought I could just curl up and cry.
And because I'm 10 years old,
people will just find it adorable and charming
and maybe I'll get ice cream.
[ Laughter ]
But instead, I stood right up and I said,
"My God, it's icy out there."
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Bravo! Bravo!
I can't believe you haven't been back on stage.
That is a great shame.
-Yeah. -Or I guess you leave on top.
You got to just walk away on top.
-Sometimes you've just got to go out on top.
-There you go. Thank you so much for being here.
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