Live Today With Passion: I was presentable but I won the same two
suits I had two suits man that I had to
wear every day for a year one blue one
great the joke around the office started
oh that's Chris guard that he's
reenacting the silver war some days what
the North Sunday's ease with the South made it into college on his third
MA try and became an English teacher with
no computing or engineering background
he's an unlikely tech Titan but he says
he was captivated by the internet from
the moment he first saw it in 1995 when
he came to the US as a translator I
never touch keyboard before I've ever
using computer before and I say what is
internet either Jack you know such
whatever you want on the Internet how
can i search what is such me is it just
the type I don't want to type computer
so expensive in China I don't want to
destroy it he said it's not a bomb just
the type so I tapped the first to work
of beer at that time very slow come out
the American beer Japan beer and german
beer the new China beers i was curious
and it was type of China know China know
theta came back to Hangzhou with the one
dollar in my pocket scared worried and I
came back and I said I want to do
something called internet at some time
or another
have a g'nite over making a decision
some decisions of major decisions and
also there are a lot of small decisions
that we don't make that they tax our
minds they drain out energy they create
a lot of anxiety and nervousness and
mental torment because we don't take
care of it we decide not to decide which
is a decision deciding to decide to act
it's a major major challenge for all of
us at different points in different
areas of our lives and there are things
that happen to us along the way
experiences that we have that prevent us
from working through the mental block of
acting of doing those things that we
know we ought to do and so what I want
you to think about is what is there that
you know you need to do that you want to
do this but for some reason or another
you've been holding back for some reason
or another you just have not been able
to gather your nerds or be able to work
through the procrastinating or putting
it off or justifying or blaming some
reason or another you just haven't done
it and you know you ought to do this you
really want to do this but you don't
know why you haven't done it anybody
know what I'm talking about raise your
hand please okay then I got comfort here
this evening I'm not talking to myself
now first of all what we know that this
is not easy because in order to begin to
reinvent your life you've got to make a
conscious deliberate determined effort
that you really got to put all of
yourself into it it's very challenging
to add to do those things that times
when you're looking at if you say I know
I need to do this but I don't feel like
it
I don't want to do it I know I need to
do it yet leave me alone no I don't want
to do it so what do we do one of those
things that that calls us to do like
that I think that among the things that
prevent us from acting is the fear of
failure and if you've already failed you
want to fail again the pain of that the
disappointment the fear of law is
another thing because many times when we
do those things that we know we need to
do we feel that we might lose somebody
that we love very much in care about we
don't want to hurt anybody many of us
don't act because we want other people's
approval we want everybody to like us
and to accept us and that's not possible
many of us don't do the things that we
want to do and don't act because of lack
of self-confidence we don't believe
enough in ourselves I have a friend
who's been working on a job where she's
miserable talented want to go to another
place that she can do what she wants to
do and make the kind of money that she
would like to make in her had some
offers but because of her fear and her
lack of self-confidence of things might
not work out she won't take a chance on
herself so there she is spending eight
hours a day five days a week and she's
miserable she hates to go to work then
that thing on what she's worth she knows
it but yet and still she won't do that
which she knows she must do and it's
wearing out a lot of people that the
jobs are making them sick because they
won't act you check out the absenteeism
and the people that are depressed you
see them coming to work angry how you
doing I don't know
just leave me alone it's not even nine
o'clock head you're talking about good
morning that days you're going to work
you want to just keep driving past a job
you know you don't want to stop because
it's not in sync with who you are but
you haven't acted have another friend
because brilliant is a business
consultant he helped a lot of people get
their business started and people come
to him because they know he's
knowledgeable but this guy won't start
his own business now he's very smart he
can do it everybody believed in it
except him and he's so smart he's talked
himself out of weapon numbers aren't
right so there are many reasons why we
don't act there are other things though
that affect us is that not wanting to
take personal responsibility we want
somebody else to do it and we many times
we pick up our inability to do certain
things from people that we love people
that we admire we identify with them and
we live in the context of their ideas
their opinions and their life patterns
we buy into it unconsciously my mother
is a pack rat she keeps everything she
doesn't throw anything away and I have
unconsciously picked that up now my
mother never said let me show you how to
keep everything less than just clutter
thing i unconsciously pick that up many
times unconsciously we try to honor the
people we love by being like them by the
same token I realized something about
myself when I had some major decisions
to make and I found myself acting like
my mother see my mother's the kind of
person that when she has a problem with
one of the other foster children that
she adopted she won't confront them she
will call me last why don't you tell
Linda to move
she's lazy she won't go to work she runs
the street all day and then she comes
home and wants to sleep all day and I
think she's doing drugs I said but mama
why don't you tell Linda that i bought
the house for you I told you when she
wanted to come home don't let a grown
person come there and take care of them
you lettering well after all she's my
child mama then you handle that when I
tell her to leave she said mama said I
can say mama can I said you tell her yes
and then you call me she's still here
why worry me with this so mama hasn't
developed the courage to act on that
some people won't act until there's a
crisis situation when Linda stop
stealing from Mama and took us social
security check to get some drugs mama
got some courage to say get out of here
don't ever come back but she wouldn't do
it until then and say we don't have to
wait until a crisis situation I have a
friend that has been having a challenge
with losing weight both of us had been
dealing with that challenge and for the
past 40 years he's always seemed like
weighed over 235 pounds and so he said
man I just can't lose weight I'm
big-boned it I'd say bud I've never seen
any fat skeletons
no you need to act on your hell you can
change this well you don't have to go to
your grave fat we're off digging early
grades with our teeth we don't have to
do this they need to have a support
group around M&M peanuts you want to
support group on something and for those
snickers in there too but and I can tell
you about the help we need with that so
what happened with bud though he became
ill a few weeks ago he bought in the
last few weeks has lost more weight than
he's ever lost even when we were
competing with each other betting a lot
of money but what happened was bud
became diabetic he went into insulin
shock he didn't know that he was
diabetic his blood sugar became high and
the doctor said to him you are diabetic
you're gonna have to have insulin shots
every day you're gonna have to change
your diet and let me tell you what's
going to happen if you don't do what we
tell you to do number one there's a
possibility that you can become an
amputee number two you can go blind
three you can become impotent but they
helped me
Lego guys with pawan when war broke out
of jail as gasping tell me what I was
due to be phase one were to be big I
said but you want him under my peanut
butter and jelly bear we just know I
said but I can't believe you eating
vegetables man you're exercising he said
that's right a jog and it blades too now
he had the ability to do it before but
there's some people it takes that kind
of crises to bring them into reality in
order for them to act in their own best
interest some people have to hit rock
bottom in order to rise I don't know why
you want to begin to look out on your
life and what you want for you and I
think that when we begin to focus in the
area of what does it take for us to act
I think we can say events can inspire us
to act that particular event in his life
circumstances friend of mine he wanted
to do something and he just did not have
the motivation in the drive and the
confidence within himself but his
circumstances changed overnight through
an acquisition of the company that he
worked for he lost his job through the
inspiration of desperation he had to act
see life also a things that can inspire
a sad scene we don't have the courage
and that's what it takes courage it
takes guts to do that with you know you
need to do if you don't have the courage
to act like many times will move on you
and make you a life will look your butt
so bad
you will be so miserable you will get so
much hell you say yeah I will do it what
do you want me to do take me friend of
mine say I can't stop smoking I can't
stop smoking doctor said Sam axelrod you
have emphysema say I've never picked up
another cigarette and said look at those
stupid people smoking Sam you did it for
35 years how can you talk about people
while I was different i'm trying to help
them they don't have to do the same
thing i did but be compassionate cell
isn't interesting how quickly we forget
so I'm saying that look at something in
your life it might be just writing a
letter to somebody to say thank you it
might be just to apologize to somebody I
had a confrontation and the Penobscot
building with the security guard there
he responded to me what I perceived as a
negative way and he and I engaged in an
argument I did not like the way I
handled that I avoided going through the
front door for a long time because I
didn't want to face it finally I decided
to act and I went up to him and said I
want to apologize to you for the way in
which I handled this argument we had the
other day I was wrong I hope you accept
my apology he said I do nicely thank you
very much I felt relieved now when you
decide to act it's not always going to
be like that a friend of mine did some
work for me it was below par to say the
least I knew that this guy was capable
of doing better work I knew that he also
had a fragile ego so I was trying to
think of what is the most sensitive way
in which I can share this information
with him because I wanted him to do my
work over i was going to pay him for
what he did but I needed my work done
right but I was afraid that I would hurt
his feeling so I was very very
meticulous and how I've coached him and
I said let me share this with you you
know I care about you and that you are
very talented and gifted person and you
and I both know that what you have given
me is not a true reflection of your town
in abilities and I'm saying let's go
back in the studio and do this again and
he said to me I'm going to forget you
ever said that
I was wiped out he never spoke to me
again now when you decide to act you're
going to have some people like that
we're no longer friends I lost sleep
over that ladies and gentlemen as I
can't believe that I remember setting up
one night looking at the funk I gotta
call him said no that's it don't forget
that I caught man looking we've been
knowing each other too long to allow
this to come between us it's the don't
call me anymore huh not and then I
wanted to think about how what can I do
to make it up to him and then something
gauge me less what do you have to prove
see many things we don't do is because
the fact we want people to like us
there's some necessary losses in life
when you decide acting in your best
interest you're going to lose some
friends everybody's not going to approve
of you there's some people that won't
like you who do you think you are you
are arrogant what do you think you can
do you think you'd get away with that
you're selfish thanks I got that
it's my life and so what I'm saying to
you is that as you begin to look out on
your life this is challenging this is
not easy acting so what are the things
that we can begin to do to harness I
will number one you've got to bring it
out and look at it you got to take the
power out of it you've got to expose it
to the truth and the truth is that it
has no power over you so write down
something you want to act on but for
some reason that you've been holding
back and look at it the next thing is
ask yourself the question is it helping
you to continue to put it off if it's an
asset for you to continue to
procrastinate then continue to do that
but if it's a liability for you if it's
causing you some mental and some
emotional challenges or perhaps a
financial problem look at that examine
that for what it is next step ask
yourself what's blocking you what's
preventing you from acting why don't you
have the courage to handle that why
won't you face that what are you running
away from what kind of avoidance
behavior are you engaged in next is what
is the worst thing that can happen when
you take action so I looked at that and
I said what's the worst thing can happen
when I tell him this he can sound off
like you and he did
now what happened I experienced that I
looked at that I saw that and guess what
ladies and gentlemen I didn't die my
feelings were hurt a little bit I lost
some sleep about it and sometimes I
think about it when I Drive has his
house but I'm still here it's
uncomfortable but it's okay it doesn't
bother me anymore I've gotten used to it
now so what is the worst thing that can
happen I want you to visualize that
experience that feel the nervousness in
the discomfort and the more you run it
in your mind the less power that it will
have next is how will you feel after
taking this action I felt a sense of
personal achievement when I face
somebody that has been my mentor for
years and four years there was something
I wanted to tell him and I didn't have
the courage to tell him because it was
always I was the student he was to teach
you it was always I looked up to him and
admired him and held him in high esteem
and I was always grateful and thankful
for the impact that he had on my life
and I loved him so much I didn't have
the courage to say to him please stop
drinking so much you an alcoholic you
need help I didn't have the courage
because I was afraid that he might not
like me I was afraid that he might be
hurt and crushed that we would no longer
be friends I didn't want to jeopardize
what we had I loved him a great deal and
I didn't I didn't know how this would
affect our relationship and I didn't
even want him to know that I knew that
he was an alcoholic and so I was a
coward I was spineless in the name of
love I did it to justify to myself to
stop from helping somebody that I love
from dying I said I love him so much I
just can't tell him this I I don't even
know how he would handle it to know that
I know that he's an alcoholic
and finally after years I developed the
courage to face my teacher my mentor who
has molded me who looks at me now and
wanted to do what I'm doing now and did
not do it came at a different time and
it wasn't time for what he brought and
he's living through me and I had to face
this man who's been like a father to me
if I got to tell you something you've
got a problem I love you very much
please stop drinking you're killing
yourself it's not just social you do it
every day you need help and whatever I
can do to support you in that I will
please stop and he looked at me and I
had no idea what how he was going to
handle that and first there was like I
dare you and we just looked at each
other and then I reached out to embrace
him and we've never ever embraced Man
macho never husband I hugged him and he
just stood there with his arm straight
he couldn't raise his arms to hug me
back and he was shocked and after he got
over the initial shock when he could
bring himself to speak to maintain his
composure because he could never afford
to let me his students see him
vulnerable or admit that I was right he
said I'll be seeing you I said yes sir
I should tell you wife I'd be by the
house to see though see y'all before I
leave when he walked away at first I was
very depressed about it and say well
maybe it wasn't my place to do this and
when you act you're going to have some
second thoughts then I said no no no I
did what I felt I did it because I feel
very strongly about this and fortunately
he called me back a few weeks later and
left word with the answering service
Leslie Brown I just want to say thank
you and hung up that was a good feeling
when we look out on our lives you ask
the question what are you going to do
look at as you think about this that you
know you need to handle what are you
going to do and then write down three
strong reasons on why you know you must
take action and be explicit and
descriptive in your reasons because your
reasons have power your reasons will
drive you when you have doubt when your
faith becomes weak your reasons will
fortify your faith when you have an
inner conversation say no don't do that
your reasons will become your rod and
your staff to comfort you to take you
through those challenging moments so
write down your reasons and what you
will find but when you decide to act
when you decide to take life on and let
me warn you it can be painful it will be
uncomfortable and that's where the
growth is when you are uncomfortable
when you're stretching up when you're
taking life by the color you're going to
get thrown to the ground again and again
and again but when you have
determination and you know that what
you're doing is right that gives you
your life it gives a special meaning and
power to you you will have some power
from on high you
we'll discover some things about
yourself that will begin to electrify
your personality you begin to discover
some things about you that you don't
know you've got when you put yourself in
that type of challenging situation
repeat after me please I can go into
action on anything in my life nothing is
stopping me but me no challenge in my
life as any power over me here's
something that Howard Thurman wrote on
the decision to act is that it's a
wondrous thing that a decision to act
releases energy in the personality for
days on in a person may drift along
without much energy having no particular
sense of direction and having no will to
change then something happens to alter
the pattern it may be something very
simple and inconsequential in itself but
it stabs a weight it alarms it disturbs
in a flash one gets a vivid picture
oneself and it passes the result is
decision shop definitive decision and
the wake of the decision yes even as a
part of the decision itself energy is
released the act of decision sweets all
before it and the life of the individual
may be changed playable when you decide
to make decisions to add you begin to
access power within you that will
increase your self-esteem that will
increase and enhance your personal power
but that puts you in charge of life and
life has a whole new meaning for you as
a sense of personal freedom doesn't mean
you're not going to have any struggles
doesn't mean that you're not going to
have any challenges doesn't mean that
you're not going to suffer any defeat no
no no it doesn't mean bad but what it
does mean that you're putting yourself
in the position to grow you putting
yourself in line with your higher
calling and your higher self and
that's what life is about well here's
going me this affirmation please
everybody stand please I'm standing up
to life and the challenges in my life
i'm going to use all of me all of my
courage my faith determination and any
help and support that i can give anyone
to realize their greatness together we
can shake somebody's hand on your right
and left and say you've got what it
takes
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