- [Narrator] There are a lotta powerful militaries
in the world.
But you know what's also fun to talk about?
The really bad ones.
So, we made a list.
When considering the candidates,
it was important to examine the country's military needs
versus what it has
and what the country's priorities really are.
We also considered how much ****
the country or its leadership talks
versus what it actually accomplished.
So, while there are many countries
with extremely substandard defense forces,
most of those aren't going around rattling sabers either.
For example, Gambia has about 2,000 troops
with old weapons and uniforms that don't match,
but they spend most of their time fighting HIV and wizards,
not invading neighboring Senegal.
And though there are many armed forces
engaged in fighting around the world,
many of those aren't actually from a recognized country.
Lookin' at you, ISIS.
So, with that being said,
these are the 10 worst armies in the world, ranked.
Number 10: Tajikistan.
The Tajik Armed Forces' latest hand-me-downs from Russia
include two classes of helicopter from the 1960s,
tanks from the 1970s, and personnel carriers from the 1980s.
This is still a big step up
from the absolutely nothing they got
from the fall of the Soviet Union.
And that's just the equipment.
It doesn't get much better for the troops on the ground
in an army where even the doctors will haze them to death.
If the hazing doesn't get them,
the disease, hunger, or terrible conditions might.
This is why no one wants to join the Tajikistan army,
except when they're kidnapped and forced.
But congrats to the Tajik Armed Forces,
which celebrated its 25th anniversary in 2018.
This is only weird
because independent Tajikistan is 27 years old.
After the fall of the Soviet Union,
Tajikistan was left defenseless
with just a Russian peacekeeping force.
When they were actually able to form their own army in 1994,
it immediately started a civil war.
Most Tajiks who are drawn to military service
join the Russian army because the pay is better
and there's probably food and fewer hazing deaths.
Speaking of which, number nine: Russia.
Many might be surprised to see Russia
on a 'Worst Armies' list, but the country's biggest wins
include not starting World War III in Syria,
airstrikes on poorly-armed Syrian rebels,
fighting Ukraine to a draw, building a navy it can't crew,
annexing a peninsula
with no electricity, freshwater, or money,
hypersonic missiles that fly only 22 miles,
and finally building a robot tank after 30 years.
Russia seems strong
because it doesn't let anyone tell it what to do,
but all it wants to do is beat up on its weaker neighbors
and generally be an asshole to Washington.
And this is the source of its true power.
It can fight a war.
It can conquer countries.
Just all depends on who it fights.
Take a look at what happened when Russian mercenaries
accidentally fought a professional army in Syria.
Spoiler alert: They died.
Number eight: Turkey.
Turkish President Erdogan is a lot more aggressive
with Turkey's armed forces than he used to be,
both in use of force and imprisoning generals
he thinks started a coup against him in 2016.
Meanwhile, as ISIS fighters
approached the Turkish border with Syria,
Turkey did very little about it.
Fast-forward to when Turkey did act in Syria,
months after US-backed Kurdish fighters
cleared ISIS from the Turkish border.
Turkey, of course, immediately started attacking,
you guessed it, the Kurds!
Turkey has always had a reason to hate Kurds,
but it's just bad timing to exorcize those demons
on a defacto ally in the middle of a war.
The only goal of the Turkish invasion
is to keep the Kurds from getting their own country.
It's the ultimate geopolitical dick move
against the world's largest minority
that doesn't have its own state.
They just manhandled ISIS for the world,
and this is how Turkey repays them?
Number seven: Nigeria.
If you thought that it was bad
that Nigerian military members were fired
for making a strategic retreat
or that Nigerian troops could only run away from Boko Haram
because neither their weapons nor their vehicles worked,
remember: It can always be worse,
especially for Nigerian women.
After escaping the terror of living under Boko Haram
and being liberated by Nigerian troops,
women can now expect to be exploited
for sex by those troops,
who can be almost as bad as Boko Haram itself.
And as for the troops' welfare,
senators are more likely to have armored cars
than the frontline troops.
And when the country did decide to invest
$2 billion into its military,
those funds were immediately funneled
into personal bank accounts of government ministers
to the tune of $2.2 billion.
Aside from that, Nigerian troops tear off their uniform
while fleeing from Boko Haram because it's their best chance
for survival when nothing else works.
Remember Nigeria's oil money?
None of it goes to the military.
One Nigerian troop described it to the BBC like this.
"Imagine me and you are fighting.
"We both have guns.
"But while you are wearing a bulletproof vest,
"I'm carrying an umbrella."
Number six: Afghanistan.
First of all, just accept that the US
is never, ever going to leave Afghanistan, ever.
If we really planned to leave Afghanistan,
we'd give them something more effective
than old prop planes.
When US troops do give the ANA reasonably modern equipment,
the ANA turns right around and deserts them
in the next Taliban attack.
So, the US then has to go destroy their own Humvees.
The Afghan air force can be considered a win training-wise,
but when the Taliban gets its hands on those planes
and laser-guided munitions,
the US will have to blow those up too.
Most of the funding for the ANA goes toward salaries,
essentially begging ANA troops
not to kill their fellow troops or NATO allies.
This is a game the ANA can't win
when the Taliban is offering three times as much
to do the opposite.
So, even though the ANA called the 60-millimeter mortar
a game-changer for ground troops,
the Taliban will still pay a king's ransom
for firing it into a friendly base.
The United States has sunk $80 billion
into an army that just can't win or even fight.
Hell, they pass basic training just but not going AWOL.
Not to take anything away from those ANA troops
that are out there trying to do a good job
and fighting the good fight,
but they just don't have the support they need.
One training advisor to Al Jazeera said,
"In fact, talk to any coalition troops on the ground
"and they will tell you the Afghans can fight,
"but only after they have been fed, clothed, armed,
"and delivered to the battlefield by NATO."
To top it all off, the older generals
are being forced to retire from the Afghan army.
Remember what happened the last time
the US pushed to fire a whole big chunk
of another nation's army?
The Iraq War and, eventually, ISIS.
Number five: Venezuela.
The highest PT score for Venezuela's army
is probably in running
because that's all they've been doing lately.
When a Venezuelan soldier's choices
are limited to either working without pay
and potentially starving to death or to becoming a deserter,
the choice is clear,
which is why treason, rebellion, and desertion
are up by over 300% in 2018 as compared to 2017.
So, what does an embattled president do
when his army starts crumbling?
Tell Venezuelan civilians the US is going to attack
and then show them how to defend the country,
which is exactly what Venezuela's military did in 2017.
Nicolas Maduro can call himself a president,
but his socialist government
has resulted in an economic crisis
with inflation at nearly 14,000%
and the country's own police and military
joining hundreds of thousands of civilians
as they flee anywhere else.
Number four: Mexico.
Mexico militarized its law enforcement
then sent its military into Mexico
to fight off violent drug cartels and still lost.
The country was divided into five security zones
and then invaded by the armed forces.
Then they become just as corrupt and criminal
as the local law enforcement they replaced.
To make matters worse,
when the army does take out any kind of cartel leadership,
it creates a power vacuum and then a war among the cartels.
The strategy of removing high-level kingpins
has resulted in a 60% increase in violence
that the Mexican military can't control.
They've been doing this since 2006
and it's taken a heavy toll
on the Mexican military and Mexican people.
In the last few years,
Mexico quietly became the second-deadliest conflict,
surpassed only by Syria.
That means that you're actually safer in Kabul than in Cabo.
Number three: North Korea.
Of course North Korea makes this list.
Despite the recent Singapore summit,
there is no one better at rattling a saber
than a North Korean named Kim.
In fact, Kim Jong-un is really just following
the North Korean gameplan
to get concessions from the United States.
Here's how it goes.
Step one: Create a scene.
Step two: Threaten all-out war with the South.
Step three: Get talked down at the last minute.
Step four: Get rewarded for not starting the war
you had no intention of starting in the first place.
But to make step two seem plausible,
North Korea needs to have a credible threat.
So, while it does have hundreds of artillery pieces
pointed at Seoul, a city with 9.8 million people,
it also has the world's most outdated air force
and trains its pilots using the power of imagination,
mostly because it can't afford jet fuel.
Its navy is just considered a nuisance,
and we would all be amazed
if its army actually had enough food to eat
during the time it would take
to actually kill those 9.8 million people.
Number two: Syria.
Syria's armed forces are so awful,
they can't win a civil war
with the help of Russia, Iran, Hezbollah,
and the US and Kurds fighting ISIS for them.
In fact, anyone can feel free
to violate Syria's sovereignty.
Turkey, the GCC, Europe, and Israel are doing it
without repercussions on an almost-daily basis.
So, naturally, what do Syria's armed forces do?
Attack the US and Israel,
as if they didn't have enough problems.
And when they do win, it's not by fighting fair.
Chemical weapons, cluster munitions, and starvation
are the primary tactics used
for the now-seven-year-long civil war there.
Not exactly the way to convince the civilian population
that Assad is the right leader for them.
Number one: Saudi Arabia.
Saudi Arabia talks a lotta smack about a war with Iran.
But even when it brings its full military might to bear,
it can't even keep a coalition together,
let alone finish off an Iranian proxy.
They've been fighting the Houthi-led insurgents
in Yemen since 2015.
And with the help of half of Yemen, Sudan, Morocco,
the US, the UAE, Senegal, France,
Egypt, Jordan, and Bahrain,
they still fail to conquer the country.
The coalition has every numerical
and technological advantage on sea, land, and air,
and they're being manhandled.
This is the result of overconfidence and a dash of hubris.
The Saudis thought 150,000 battle-hardened Houthis
would just roll over after a few airstrikes.
Winning was the extent of their plan.
Not only have they failed to win after three years
and heavily outnumbering and outgunning the Houthis,
they've lost coalition partners
and turned the entire country into a humanitarian disaster.
So, those are the 10 worst armies in the world in 2018.
Leave us a comment and let us know
if we left a country off this list.
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