Love.
That intense feeling that fulfill us and connect us to another person
sometimes it paints a smile on us
the author of our happiness
One of the most popular subjects of cinema and literature
The main subject of poets,
And definitely, it is what we search and wish for
But other times, it ends in a deep pain that destroy us
and that it is really hard to let go
One of those wounds is called Abuse
Girls are overwhelmed by
the subjects of whatsapp, facebook, short skirts, clubs
The seducers
they make you believe that
you are special but they need to control you
Nobody is safe of no one
It is what the psychologist said
We are not safe
Safe from this evil people that want to control you
that in reality they are emotional vampires
and they are feeding from you
They are out there, everywhere
Genre violence has been years molesting women
but in years, it has increased
Violence does not only consist in lots of deaths,
but makes many people to be dead in life
because trauma stays in the heart,
and the wounds don't heal
But is it really impossible to get out of this deep and dark well?
The message was of hope, basically
But there is also a profile of the person
which can be beside you and you're not realizing that they are abusive,
he is not considering you, he is seeing you as a thing,
and it is a message of hope.
You can get out, but we all have to get involved in it,
that was the message.
Why did you decide to talk about gender violence?
It is not my subject, and I am not a specialist in it at all
I had a experience,
It was the one that really made me to write about them.
We do a program on radio
in which my specialty is oligotherapy,
minerals and oglemerentos, the difference that these minerals can do.
One day I remember doing a program on stress,
and I spoke on a mineral that is very important: magnesium.
There were many calls.
Some people wanted to speak directly to the person speaking on the radio, with the person who is giving the message, even though we are several people in the office,
it is not uncommon that happen.
Then they told me: there is a lady who wants to talk to you.
I talked to her and she asked me
with total serenity, she told me: look, my husband beats me,
and as you speak of minerals, that work really good, that regulate the nervous system and else,
well maybe if I give my husband these minerals he will stop hitting me.
To my surprise ... she said it so naturally.
Well, I immediately put on guard and said:
Look, excuse me, but we won't talk about what you want, but let's talk about ... how long ... you live alone ...
She said: no, well, I live alone with him, my children have grown up and no longer wanted to be home,
He is a very aggressive man ...
But she insisted: But the minerals will work well?
And I insisted: Let's not talk about minerals, let's talk about you,
I think you should ask for help,
in a moment I'll give you the phone numbers...
And she only wanted that her husband wouldn't beat her by simply taking the pill that we were selling.
The conversation was a bit long,
she was talking about her stuff and I was talking about mine,
I wanted to help,
and at a certain moment as she saw that I really could not help her because I had no miracle pill for a husband to stop beating,
she hung up on me.
Then I kept thinking:
what happened? They were not making a joke on me...
And so I spent the whole day.
like phone numbers are saved, I thought:
I'll call, as she has already meditated and so, let's see if we can understand each other.
I called, a young boy answered and I was shocked,
I thought: a young boy? But this woman told me that she lived alone with her husband ...
She was 68 and he was 73,
and I thought: Such a soft voice her husband has...
I asked: hello, good morning, how are you?
I am the Superbionim program, yesterday I had a conversation with a lady but communication failes, I would like to continue.
And then the guy told me:
it was my mother with whom you spoke and she committed suicide last night.
I gave him condolences and hung up the phone.
But I cried a lot.
For many days I had that woman in my head,
and I say, I know many things, I have many things, I'm a big escuchadora and usually have more consideration to the patient than the disease.
It has taught me the experience that if you listen to the patient can get to the root of the disease,
which can often be emotional.
Then you have to play to cure emotion,
we must help heal emotion
And I already had somehow made many kinds, made many profiles, a lot of stuff,
and I thought that this woman's death not be in vain,
I help her write for this not to happen again.
And so it began the story.
He had written many things through Facebook, when I felt helpless I said to the women, please React, call ..
And they did not react, the issue of attachments and other ...
Some yes, some said, well look, I'll call this helpline and others.
Well, people encouraged me Facebook: you write well, that we liked, we erizas skin ...
Even a small publisher contacted me and said:
safe behind such excitement here is a novel, when there was not ...
And encouraged me, all these things encouraged me to romanticize what were at first sensations and emotions that I felt with my patients
We are not doing well in general society.
Consider that goes in crescendo.
There are laws that should be again revised, because there are now insufficient.
It must involve all of society.
Hear or see voices, screaming, shouting, we allow many times to humiliate us,
and simply what we as standard.
We are normalizing abuse.
You speak to me of people who have died,
I can talk about people who do not have the figures,
people with fibromyalgia, people with lupus, with anxiety, with depression, which are faring badly,
that can possibly die, and these people do not have them counted,
and I assure you that all therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists have many of these people who will never leave your figure
and you really have also been victims of abuse.
There are more than they seem.
Adolescence is a stage that really is wonderful, we have many hormonal changes,
and now I tell you as a therapist,
and these hormonal changes make us very sweet sometimes very sad, we are very sad sometimes ...
with many changes affecting us are biochemically.
What's going on? If all goes well it will not happen anything, but at some point you have to ...
above all, the pressure of society, advertising pressure, the pressure of television, media because you have to be tall, beautiful, young, beautiful, intelligent ...
There must be many things, a mother ... we must be many things.
It really is impossible, we are human, we are unique,
but we can not be all that others want to be.
How do you think education could prevent future batterers?
It is one of the pillars, there are many, many.
Education is clearly one of the pillars.
And especially mothers ...
I have a son and a daughter, and you realize that sometimes make mistakes,
because when you say, let's set the table, you get the name of the girl. So are not educated.
Or when you have to do something they call women think of her to do so.
No, no, so I am not educated, because I unfortunately know about batterers and really the theme of education,
the issue if any educated in the machismo that is imposed, especially by the mothers themselves,
it has not done any good, it has not done us good to any of us.
So we as mothers have an enormous responsibility to this end we are also educating them on equality, everyone.
The media don't do us good sometimes.
some programs are made, but they need more information.
Have you ever felt like a sexual object?
They have made me feel like one
I haven't feel like one myself
But they have made me feel like one many times
I think this is something they have made us all women feel like
The big difference,
is that when they make you feel like one,
you reject it.
You are a woman.
And being a woman implies many things
Why would we stop being women?
Sexuality is another part of the human being
It's not something very specific
But…yes.
I reject it.
And if someone makes you feel like that,
They are not contributing to anything
Go away, it's not your business
Let's stop holding to toxic relationships
There is people that show it
What is going to do a toxic person?
Don't go closer
Sometimes...
We behave as if like had a magnet
We are attracted there.
Let's stop that magnet
Let's go where we are interested to be
not where society tells us to be.
Sometimes society tells us "You are a woman and you should be here...and here..."
¿You choose where I have to be too?
I have to be fine with myself
and with my values and with what I've learn
what I'm learning now, everyday
but nobody tells me what to do
that should be the message
Amor sees poetry everywhere
Imagination is the fuel of her life
and her mind is continually creating
before publishing her second book,
"What are you thinking?"
Amor already had the plot of another story.
She stands for equality
So this new story talks about violence
But from a new perspective
I don't want to specialize in violence,
because I am a writer
We writers, can write about many things,
It is my first edited book
published,
but it is not the first book I have written.
I have other books,
waiting to be published.
But I do find myself with the moral obligation of
writing a book about domestic violence, not genre violence.
It is a violence that can occur from a woman to a man.
The domestic violence includes all types of violence
As with genre violence is just for women
Protocols
in domestic violence include too the psychological violence
Many affected men, without voice,
by this bullying
have asked me to giving them voice.
And I do not know how to say no
of course I will give them voice.
It is my next project
I already have an editor in this moment
that it's interested
That is a huge support
and something that "te recorça", as we say in catalan
I feel really supported with this book
In a beginning I was naming it "Todos somos ellos" ("We are all them")
So it was kind of a sequel to "Todos somos ellas"
just the title because this one will be a thriller,
but later I have thought about it
and I want to name it "The silent violence"
but until I keep writing and I write the ending
I won't know for sure how I will end up naming it.
but I do know the plot
The story is here
I want to surprise the reader
These days I've been visiting a lot the Justice Palace
in the Penal
where there are few things about men
Sadly, there are lots of cases about women
I've heard some of them and it's scary, because reality surpass fiction
How was your experience in the trials?
Was it hard? How were the cases?
I lived it better than what I expected
because I'm a really sensible person, I thought I wouldn't be able to resist it
So I heard about many cases and what is surprising about them,
is when you see the involved people swearing
the "I swear to say the truth and only the truth",
You see people passing by,
and every version is different!
and I asked myself,
Who is lying?
He? She? Are both lying?
And I thought, The Judge who is going to determine the verdict,
must have a huge capacity to focus
from everything I'm watching
because I can see everything: how they dress, sit or talk
No, you have to focus in the essential, in what happened in reality
in the proofs. In this case, focus in the proofs.
And I lived it with a feeling of learning,
learning that we can not go on like this with relationships,
If there is no relationship, if you do not have a good relationship with someone,
Do not have it! Do not go on.
The few abusing women I've known, just a few,
I observe that they do not let them do anything
In front of them, of course, I was not at their home
and I know one or two abusing men but I still don't have much information
but it is more of a psychological abuse
The abuse by women is more psychological
Has to do with the children, too
I educate the children by myself, I tell them what to do,
and you say nothing
It is like dividing them
Try to divide them
and they talk about their jobs, too
"You have to be more ambitious, earn more money, your co-worker is doing this against you..."
If the book will help someone?
I don't know
My main objetive is to write
The second ,as I said when I was in FNAC,
when you are a writer, of course you like money.
but personally, what I like most, is to be read.
I prefer to sell one book and be read by one thousand people,
that makes them think over
Than to sell one thousand books and be read just by one person.
It's not a book to entertain
it's a book of reconsideration from the point of view if a therapist
and that it's my first book, though I have written more
Man or woman doesn't matter because Evil doesn't understand about genre nor age
We can see kids that are really egoistic,
and abusers of their own parents
And obsessions.
The incapability of detachment
I don't see anything more pathetic than being in love with someone
someone that have told you they don't love you
and you persist with that attachment
with that love
You are destroying yourself
And you are missing a lot of other opportunities
I do not understand that kind of love
Maybe it is not love.
No, it is not love.
What do you understand as love?
What is love?
First love is the love to myself.
If I do not love myself,
I can not love someone else.
First I have to love myself.
In the moment I love myself,
I am ready to give love.
But always,
when I see that the other person wants to be with me.
If they do not want to be with me, then it is not love anymore.
Love from one part only, I do not think it is love..
Love is nourished by two persons
Love to yourself is nourished by yourself everyday
You take care of yourself, etc, etc
You are with people with who you feel good,
You do good things for yourself
But love to someone else
when they are just with you for some interest that is not love,
To me it is not considered love.
I know her for many years,
From when our kids were one year old, in school,
She is a really sensible person,
really kind,
she worries about you,
whenever she can help, she will
She is great.
Optimist, spontaneous and intuitive
Three words that describe Amor perfectly
With a young soul and honoring her name,
She loves life.
But also, behind all that happiness, there has been a lot of pain
Besides the joke that Amor is an amorous person,
She is a person that
from outside, she can seem
simple, nice, beautiful
but she has a huge emotional intelligence
that many people does not know
and far from what you can think of her
she is a super intelligent person.
You learn to see
that you can help
helping always with positivism
You can not help people that do not want help.
That is proven.
There are people that you try to give them your energy
Not all your energy but some part of it,
and still they do not want to help themselves
So, I've learnt that to these people that do not want help,
I should let them follow their own way.
Let them go.
Maybe they haven't learnt
enough, or...
maybe I'm not the adequate person to help them
It is the ego, you want to help someone,
but in reality, it is your own ego talking
"Yes, I will totally help you"
No, you have to know when you can help and when you can not
When you can help, then it is simple
I can help, I will do it
as I'm sure of the people at my side,
and I empathize with them
It affects less
From the No-affectation I can do help
Because If I cry with her,
I can cry two minutes,
but then it is over
I can have a one minute mourning
But after that minute, we will not cry anymore
We will look for solutions
If I tell you "Poor you", "Don't worry", "This will end"
You must get involved
You must say "Let's lay the papers on the table"
because I like writing so much
"Let's lay the papers on the table, which is the problem?
which are the solutions?"
"There are not, well..this here, this there"
by writing it,
and being with that person,
then it does not affect me as much as if I deal with it alone.
My first book, for example, was a book about the sensations I was feeling
that said harsh stuff against the abusers
I wrote,
"Abusers are like this, because they act this way"
"because there are kids in the middle"
I needed to express that
Now I've learnt that by expressing it,
it does not affect me more
I think that she is a super strong woman
With her book and her writing,
a 10.
Really, she is super optimistic, strong,
Super authentic
You attract what you look at
It is the law of attraction
Once more, I can affirm
that you see someone or you have a dream
or you want to get something
just think on it.
Think that it will be
think that it will come true
and it comes the moment
when that something you have wished, comes to you.
and you don't have to be afraid
you just have to say "I knew it because I asked for it"
Something I do a lot and everyday, is being grateful
You said before that you were on a project,
Tell us a little bit how you started.
Through Facebook, I met
a person that had a NGO
So I thought, well, maybe this is the NGO
As I always think that you ask for things and they come,
so I thought,
part of the books, I want to give them
to an organization for abused women
but also I want to collaborate with those kids
with only 7-8 euros per month,
you give food to those kids
you can educate them,
so this NGO just came. I don't know how, it just came.
Acción Senegal
So I started researching, talking to people involved,
but most of all, to the person in charge
I wanted to get to know the person in charge of this NGO
because they are autonomous, they are from an assembly
but there is always someone who is in charge
And because of the circumstances, a friend who wanted to travel there,
I told them there was a friend who wanted to travel there
and he looked straight to my eyes and said
"We are not a travel agency"
"If someone wants to travel with us,
has to pay their own flight, arrive there and say "I'm here, how can I help?"
"We are not going to make their lives easier"
They are at their places
We have to respect everything
Amor is certain that a writer is made
and she was made by pain and suffering
but also, an incredible spirit of braveness and optimism
Now she has become the person she always dreamt of
A poet in love with life and with many things to tell
These days, she is perfecting her writing skills with the classes she takes at the Ateneu Barcelonès
A writing school
Leggins, her perfume and a rooibos tea are the best allies in her creative process
Were you born a writer or you became one?
I started to write my diary
which was just for me,
maybe because I didn't have many friends.
I don't know if I was introverted or extroverted
but I liked to write and to express what I felt just for myself
I began writing, and I think the people who supported me,
were the only ones that recognized I could have a potential as a writer
They said "Do it, do it"
They even helped me put a title to my first book, which is auto-edited
Called The Center of my life
so I could write it
they gave me the money beforehand because they believed in me
So it was a huge support at a personal level, that really helped me
but I don't want to stay there
Now I do study, at the Ateneu,
to be a writer.
I remember that when I arrived there, I arrived with my first book
and one person told me "What are you doing here if you already wrote a book?"
I said Yes, I put my soul into a book
but the technique,
I don't know if it's the right one
So I come here to learn the technique
Amor has the ability to communicate with words in a very concise and powerful way
very short phrases
but with an incredible power
they impact you,
she doesn't need a big paragraph to express
She is a phrase creator.
Her style is not a very narrative nor overwhelming
of very deep phrases
like sentencies
Everyday I obligate myself to read one hour and write another hour
In this order?
No, it can be different
but I do need to obligate myself
If not, the everyday life makes you say "I didn't have time"
So I need to organize myself, as I told you, I'm very chaotic
but I have time to dance zumba,
meditate,
time to read, to write,
but I have to be strict with myself
The weekend I'm more flexible
but once or twice a month I come to this place in a weekend
So it is just reading, writing, relaxing,
And it compensates all the hours I didn't do before
One or two hours a day is really convenient, and I need it
There is people who need to go to the gym everyday
and I need to write everyday
When you first started to write, you used a pseudonym
Why?
It interests me a lot
I remembered that
I write a lot about love, feelings,
when I write short stories and poetry
and I thought, I can not show my naked soul so everyone knows what I feel
So if I put that I got it from someone else,
because sometimes you post on Facebook
you quote other people's phrases
So i thought on posting phrases and quoting an imaginary writer
I started to write very romantic, cute things
erotic things,
about seduction,
and every time I put my pseudonym
and one of my friends told me, "hey, We have been looking for this writer
and we can't find anything"
"And we are very interested in where have you got this book"
So I said it was an old book from the writer
and I got a bad conscience
people are looking for her
So I wrote something
The writer is not me. But she takes me, she seduces me, she comes and go
A really long post where I said
that they shouldn't look more for her,
because she was a person that doesn't exist, she was a spirit
she doesn't have a physical body
but she goes inside me
and writes
and then she goes out, but it wasn't me
So I started to intercalate her and me in the posts
Until I stopped using the pseudonym
but I used her for a character
For the character of Margarita
She is a woman who writes
and when she writes
she feels what I feel,
she didn't want to expose her feelings
or what she was thinking
so she puts a pseudonym
It was my homage to the name that I used to cover myself
at the beginning of my writing
I like a lot the name
but I think the moment has come to write as Amor
And do you think you can compare the emotion of publishing your first book to seeing your first child born?
It is very simmilar
Evidently, having a child is the best
but I already had planted a tree
I planted a lemon tree
I already had a child
I just needed the third thing: writing a book
and it was very exciting
nothing comparable as when I became a mom
But the feeling
and that book, which I carried that morning,
I went shopping to Veritas
ecological food and so,
I was thinking about a woman, Carmen,
she has been my spiritual guide
she is a very wise woman
She has been in India, has had a great teacher,
so I was thinking on Carmen
that I had to tell her
because it had been a while since I last saw her
that I had a book
and it is published
and I kept thinking on Carmen, Carmen, Carmen
I go down to the parking
And me carrying my book
and I went everywhere that day!
and then I see Carmen
She was parking her car.
And I told her "Carmen!"
And she was like "Hi! how are you?"
So I told her I already wrote the book
and something that thrilled me a lot,
was that she blessed the book
so I thought Nothing can go wrong
Pain and light
Is Amor
a great example of personal growth
she had to defy evil face to face
leaving fear aside
Now, after the publishing of her first two novels,
She keeps growing through new projects, goals and dreams
She is a charming girl,
a great woman,
and an impressive writer
Impressive.
I augury her a great future.
If you are really with someone, is to sum
never to subtract
If I want to subtract, I'd rather be alone
I think a relationship should be like this
Everything that is subtracting,
to me is a toxic relationship
If you are with someone is to add,
Life itself,
and I'm really positive,
but life is a drama
that ends with a tragic ending
So...
Why do you want more drama?
You should add -someone that really...-
that gives you a hand and tells you
Don't worry because everything will be fine
A travel lover,
her most important goal is to make her life journey, important.
Everyone can do something that makes living worth while
We can't close our eyes at the heavy weight of reality
Violence has been molesting women and men for years
and it hurts, it marks and it kills.
but behind that dark and bitter well
There is hope.
There is only needed a little bit of courage
and the urge to keep loving
Evil is defeated by the forces of love
and because of that everyone can love again
because everyone of us,
are love.

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