okay okay welcome to the rock your dream
body graduate success story interview
series today I am so excited to speak
with Kim Berke who is now my assistant
coach you guys are probably really
familiar with seeing her and our rock
your dream body and dream life group and
she helps me with my immersion group
coaching group as well and just to kind
of introduce Kim first well first of all
welcome Kim thank you yes this kind of
tell people a little bit about you and
and you know to kind of kick myself in
this conversation Kim was actually one
of my immersion students last year if
she went through my immersion program
and you know for her it was so amazing
to see her she came from like her
approach and why she kind of did to
immersion in the first place wasn't
because she felt like she needed to lose
a lot of weight her first sort of
motives were more around the idea of
really just being triggered by food and
not knowing exactly what foods to eat
and sort of beat you know being
obsessive about food i mean i know i can
say that because you would say that
about yourself at the time as well and
we're going to dive into that because
it's such a common thing and it's almost
like one of those things that women are
so afraid to talk about what it's so
it's so happening like it's just
something that a lot of women that are
trying to go through and figure out how
to navigate the world of you know
feeling confidence in their body food
the food part of it is such a huge thing
so for us to just kind of begin this
conversation Kim you know tell us a
little bit about what life looks like
before a margin and also your
relationship with food okay um so in a
nutshell and I you know you always know
that someone's going to ask these
questions eventually and then I'm like
oh my gosh I have a story so
let me tell you just a little bit about
it some I know you know and some you may
not be so familiar with because you and
I never really went back like way back I
was always a smaller person and I almost
became known for being small and I think
I liked that growing up when I was 19
years old I was in college and I went
through a really stressful time and I
actually came home from college I had
been drinking a lot I hadn't been going
to classes and I was put on some
medication for anxiety and so all my
friends you know they stayed at school
while I was at home and I was gaining
all this weight and I was confused and
it was a horrible time in my life and I
gained 40 pounds um 40 pounds on
anyone's frame doesn't necessarily feel
all that great when I was seeing my
friends as they would come home on
breaks they were just they didn't know
what to do with me because they had
heard that I had anxiety they were all
going out drinking and I knew that I
couldn't drink anymore and for the first
time in my life I became very insecure
about being in my body and I tried to do
a lot of things to lose weight so this
is one that like the whole diet thing
started to come into play eventually met
my husband and I didn't think about it
until actually a few months ago but once
I met my husband I stopped thinking
about weight so much and the weight was
falling off like I just you know we
would go out to eat when we wanted to
eat we didn't eat what you know it was
like the pressure was off so that's kind
of an aha moment that I'm only making
now so long story short my husband and I
we got married we had a couple kids I
naturally lost weight and I started
getting into fitness and eating right so
this is where the we start to take a bit
of a turn the whole fitness and eating
right
gone wrong there's a lot of mixed
messages and social media in a way of
the best way to eat so I've been a
vegetarian I don't know I would say that
was probably for about 13 years I've
been a vegan now for 4 so looking online
about the best way to eat that's where I
started to get a little bit things
started to go wonky I was turning 40
years old and I decided that I was going
to go on a vegan bodybuilder fitness
meal plan and exercise plan that I found
from Instagram and it was not a lot of
food probably I don't even want to go
into the calories because they were I
don't even know solo ridiculously low
and I started lifting weights really
heavy weights and I've never been
interested in being in a squat rack
before and I got results extremely
quickly like within two months and I I
started having friends and family
members saying something to me so on the
flip side I didn't have weight to
necessarily lose I was trying to
manipulate my body and I didn't think
about it that way at that time and I was
so obsessed with it that i became
miserable miserable and how long before
immersion was this stage i won't see you
so I did the plan it was in August and I
completely told her to forget it in
december and i went from december until
the following fall when i met you
because i tried to navigate alone so
basically i went about 10 months trying
to bounce back from this crazy like
dieting you know spin cycle it's what i
like to call it as a spin cycle and i
started to get worried about myself
because
nothing was like I just felt like I
couldn't eat anything anymore you know
it's like you read two different
articles and they tell you to do two
different things and I was petrified
that I was in a gain weight the way I
did when back when I was a teenager and
it was consuming consuming my life and I
heard you on a podcast and that's when
you were talking about freedom and
freedom from body jail and I had never
heard that term before and it just was
it just spoke to me like nothing else
yeah that's so common I feel like so you
were working with like a trainer like a
nutritionist or a food person previously
and that was how it was like she was
setting up your plan for you yeah mm-hmm
I feel like that's kind of and that was
my my experience as well and I know a
lot of women it's like you either work
look someone individually or you know
you get so consumed by the media and
following all of the different plans
that you get conditioned into believing
that like that person or something out
of ourselves or all of these mixed
messages even our nope no better than
what you know for your own body and
that's where you know I think when women
coming into immersion or any of my
programs they start to wake up to this
idea that like oh my god wait hold on
I'm my own fitness my ultimate fitness
nutrition expert like how could that
even be possible and it's like when you
experience that for yourself it's such
an amazing feeling because it's like
yeah you can listen and you can take
these different pieces of advice but
ultimately when you put it through your
own filter and you learn how to be your
own food detective like you say it's
like what really works well for me it's
like oh my god you feel like you finally
got your power back you know like
there's no way to do it wrong because
because you can feel the difference in
your own body yeah yeah it was it was
honestly one of the most terrifying
times in my life and I had no idea what
you were talking about when we had our
discovery call you were talking about
power I I don't know it sounded like
superhero talk to me and I was like
you were just so nice and that and I I
needed to believe in someone before I
believe you know in myself again and it
really it just changed the whole course
of my life I mean I don't really it's
hard to put into words now that we're
talking about it it actually gives me to
you know so well it really has changed
the course of your life cuz I mean so
that was last year you know and then
your transformation just continued on
even after you graduated from her
immersion we kept in touch and you know
kept me in the loop about different
things that were happening and then you
decided to go back to school and you
signed up for the Institute for the
psychology of eating with Mark David who
was a huge mentor for me like he really
taught me so much about a lot of the
stuff that I teach now and it's so
exciting to see this sort of 180 with
you this whole idea of how you know food
was this thing that you were scared of
before but now food has become the thing
that really empowers you and it's
something that you're passionate about
sharing with other women too mm-hmm and
I just I love food and I'm so excited
that I've allowed myself to love it
again I love making recipes that just
you know I what I really love to do is I
like to take a and I know people call
things naughty or good or you know what
I like to do is I like to take recipes
and I like to sort of healthified them
not to go overboard with it but I like
to do it in a way that makes me feel
good you know and for everyone that may
look different but what I want to do is
be able to just put all those tools out
on a table and have them do what makes
them feel good again you know and and if
there's something that I can say about
food and fitness just combine together I
think that many men and women can have
these pseudo memories about the way that
we were at a certain weight so when I
was at my quote unquote perfect weight I
was miserable and I also was frail and I
was not happy I wasn't living
my life and it was just a very dark time
for Mickey but then when you get beyond
that you don't necessarily remember how
dark it was sometimes sometimes you'll
like you'll make it like oh if I could
just go back to that it would be great
no it's really not like that it's it's a
combination of things which is why your
programs make so much sense because that
whole outside and inside stuff it really
is what makes the biggest impact and for
sustainability you know so for me that's
huge yes and you know you make a really
good point there that's actually
something that we talk about a lot like
it in immersion with private clients and
so forth like this idea of when you
think back to those times in your life
where your body was either like in this
particular case you're talking about
being frail and being obsessive about
food that's clearly a time where you
were motivating yourself through here
you were using starvation diet type you
know that kind of a message to reach
your goals like those are the times
where you recognize like clearly you
were not supporting your body clearly it
was not about nourishment but then you
mentioned another time in your life
where the weight just kind of fell off
and when we start to look at these
different scenarios like I i love sort
of looking back in the past not getting
stuck in it or being like oh man that
you know like being sort of a victim too
but looking at it from that sort of
objective perspective and saying what
was the difference what was the
difference between the time when I lost
weight effortlessly and the time when I
was so focused on it that I was obsessed
and it was uncomfortable and miserable
like we said we can pull out those
threads that are like oh my god it makes
sense you know I was happy when I met my
husband I was in love if you know it's
like my focus of my attention was on
living my life it wasn't about obsessing
over my body so it was easy for my body
to just get into the flow and that's
again another topic that we really cover
a depth within immersion and feel
amazing both of its programs that we
have because because we think it has to
be hard but it's really not it's just
about getting in alignment with your
body and helping it to work like that
well oiled machine that it truly
can be mmhmm yeah I definitely agree so
true and there does need to be an
element of trust when it comes to
participating in a group and our
facebook group and our community they're
just an amazing bunch of women and the
thing is sheila is that the women that
you attract are extremely smart and
they've been around the block they know
about working out and they know about
food that's not what it is that they
necessarily need help with they need
help with those threads with weaving it
all together for themselves or something
that is designed specifically for them
and and taking their power back you know
thank you and I think that ties in with
the part that you said about getting
your kind of like a foodie now right and
I sure that I hear that so often from
women where they're like oh my gosh I'm
so excited about food now because food
stops being this thing that that they're
so fearful of and it starts becoming
part of that freedom like oh my gosh I'm
32 you know incorporate my favorite
treats within my my three
non-negotiables like we talked about and
i'm creating to experiment and see like
what feels good to me and create these
healthy food recipes that are so
nourishing and satisfying to my taste
buds to it's like we've just kind of
unlocked this whole new world yeah
definitely and you know what's really
great about you and just your whole
outlook on things is that you are not
suggesting for people to give up on
anything this isn't like you know a like
a like that you're like an old racehorse
or something that you just like you're
just being put out to pasture you know
what I mean it's like you can have goals
no one is saying that that you shouldn't
but your mindset that's definitely what
needs to be worked on and often times
your goals will change and once you're
able to navigate your you're going to
it's just go it's just
coming from a more relaxed empowered
place I mean I feel like power is
definitely the topics that we keep
coming you know that's like the word of
the interview is power and I'm glad you
brought that up to you because I
remember when you were going to emerge
and one of the things that you have
brought up to me a few times was that
sometimes you would get triggered by say
like a before and after picture or
something that was related to like body
stuff but you want to touch on that link
maybe you know how your perspective has
changed now that you've even gone
further in your evolution I do I think
that social media is a fantastic tool I
love social media just as much as I love
it I think that it can when you are
following certain people and looking at
certain content I think that it can be a
mid of a bit of a mind game and for me
during the time that I was eating really
low calorie and I was lifting the way I
was the types of images and the type of
women that I would follow on instagram
instagram you would think that i was
like i don't know that i was going to be
entering some type of competition this
woman gave me basically her meal per
meal plan and her job was to be in shows
with like number 45 listed on her you
know what i mean like that's not I mean
like I'm a mom like I'm just like a
regular mom you know and and that's what
I told her I wanted and I was very
resentful of her in the beginning but
you know what i shouldn't have been
because she gave me what i wanted and
that's what i thought i wanted yeah what
you asked for that's why what you
thought you wanted yeah that's totally
what I wanted now when I was bouncing
back from that when I would see people's
before and after photos and I would see
like for me it was never a situation
where when I would see a before and
after that had a long amount of time in
between it you know like if someone said
oh in a year we did this or in nine
months we did this but when I would see
like a 90
gazing and when I would see extreme
before-and-afters like that it would
like I mean I'm really emotional it
would like seriously almost hurt my
heart because these people would be
smiling so big and then I just wanted to
like just come through the screen and be
like you have no idea what you could be
in store for and once again I don't know
these people like they could have been
fine but I just know what happened to me
and I was a before and after picture and
I had before and after pictures up of me
so it was triggering and one of the
things that you know I plan on
introducing at one point and I have
mentioned it to some of the girls in the
group is when when you find those images
that that upset you of these small lean
women stop looking at them look at women
nor size or larger and see that yes they
have a life yes they buy cute clothes
yes they're happy like you know what I
mean and then you can start to retrain
your brain a little bit yeah so I mean
just to clarify so people completely
understand so you're saying that you
were triggered by those photos because
you knew the struggles that you went
through because you were so like focused
on being lean and you were looking at
those photos and and the second part of
it too is that you were not a competitor
you know you had goals like body related
goals but you know you were sort of
holding yourself to the standard of like
these athletes whose job was to perform
you know and to get up on a stage and Q
do a show and that was like their their
main focus but you were holding yourself
to that same level is that kind of what
you're saying was the triggering like
the eat like the stuff that was going on
behind the scenes is not what you see in
that one sort of quote-unquote picture
perfect photo yes definitely and when I
break it down and sort of peel those
layers back I'm not surprised that I
went down the path that I did i do find
that a lot of women who have challenges
around food they they can tend to be
perfection
and they do like to have control and not
in every case but I didn't find it to
definitely be something that I hear more
and more about because it's never good
enough it's just like the carrot you
know Sheila mmhmm yeah I mean I yeah
like I can completely relate to that
it's always it's interesting the women
that I attract these groups are eat like
you said very smart intelligent women
who know what they want know how to get
what they want and they do hold
themselves up to that higher standard
and it's the reason why I attract them
is because that's exactly who I am and
who I was all along on my journey and so
it's like when you come together and you
realize like you know we we want to be
the best versions of ourselves and
sometimes we're sort of were we're
shooting ourselves in the foot by not
really having compassion for ourselves
and being very realistic about like well
what do what do I really want my life to
look and feel like not about like this
one moment in a photo you know how to
become before and after photo but like
how do i want to feel on a daily basis
you start to recognize it is not about
the scale you know I'm not something
that I think that you personally realize
and then allow that to become something
that you know you mentioned to me before
we serve the interview haven't weighed
yourself that's what did you say before
even immersion yeah before immersion i
would say probably october of 2015 yeah
and it's almost like I know how scary
that can be for our women one of the
things that we get in-depth into is this
whole idea of being held hostage by this
little metal and plastic thingy you know
like this scale we think that you know
it can make or break our day but when we
start to recognize that there's so much
more to life and confidence body
confidence and you know body freedom
than just what that number says it again
unlock this whole new world yeah it's
justin she does and in regards to just
participating in immersion with you I
initially thought that this was mostly
about food and body image and for all of
the ladies they notice whether it's
you feel amazing or immersion that it's
about the food it's about your body
image but not really there's so much
more there's there's a lot going on and
just the amount of support in the
facebook group and with the women and
what you offer it's definitely necessary
if you want this to be for keeps and I
think that so many women will resonate
when I say for keeps because they've
done it all they've been there done that
you know they they just want something
that is sustainable and they just want
to be able to go on with their lives and
they've been banging their head and they
just don't know what what else to do and
you know it's like what I said before
you know in a different interview with
you that we did you've got to be willing
to put your your work boots on because
there are some things that are not
necessarily what we want to look at in
our lives but they need to be addressed
and when you go through it instead of
going around it it's definitely going to
free you on the other side and there is
another side there totally is so what
were some of the things that came up for
you like initially with the program you
know you thought it was just about food
and body like what were some of the
things he discovered were those
underlying things as you went to the
program well when I entered the program
I was at a point where I had pretty much
pushed everyone away in my life as when
it came to friends like literally it was
just sayonara all I did was I told
people I was too busy I just I didn't
make time for anyone i wasn't really
even making time for my husband I was so
focused on food and fitness and reading
self-help books on how to make myself
better that I was caught in this
nonsense of of fixing just of trying to
fix myself and looking back on it now I
know that the very thing I needed was to
come out of my room the very thing I
needed was other people and I remember
telling you on our calls I
want to be bothered Sheila I just I want
to be alone it's less aggravating when
I'm by myself I'm an introvert which I
do not take that back i still am an
introvert but I was definitely using
that as a bit of an excuse so you're
isolating definitely definitely
isolating besides that it just you know
we had some things going on financially
with our daughter being in college and
so every time something would come up it
would just be so much easier to numb out
you know and it was my behavior around
food like when immersion came was you
know we haven't gotten into this and I
certainly don't mind talking about it
because I know that it will definitely
resonate with at least someone who's
listening but before immersion I was
like I don't want to say like sneaking
food but like I I would go and I would
buy like these cookies and I was like
okay Kim you're so smart you bought one
for every day of the week and there are
seven packages in here and so I would
you know take them home from the grocery
store I would put him in the pantry and
then all of a sudden I looked down and
there would be seven empty wrappers I
was like what is going like what like
this is weird because that's just not
the type of person that I was and then
and then I would like take the wrappers
and I would put him in a paper towel and
then on top of you ever tell you know
then i would put in a plastic bag and
then i would put him keeping about here
to me that would like mm-hmm there's no
way that you're like what are you doing
and it was scary it was and it after it
happened a few times that's when i ended
up finding you and I knew that I needed
to get back to a better place because
that's not who I am I'm not the type of
person it's like afraid of being home
alone because I'm going to have my way
with food I mean that's it doesn't have
to be like that and that is your body's
way of saying if there is a siren going
off and we need to pay attention to that
it
such an amazing amazing signal people
are ashamed by it you shouldn't be i'm
clapping for you like this is wonderful
like let's take this and make this step
one you know of getting on a better path
to equilibrium yeah that's amounts of
thing I was going to say is I here so
it's like the shame was what was
consuming you when in reality that's
just your body and your your habits sort
of giving you that signal that's just
saying like hey you know it's time to
pay attention there's something deeper
going on here and so that's where you
know going into a margin we really dive
into like what's really going on here
yes definitely and it's something that i
like to call twisted self-care and i
think it's really important for people
also to understand that our body is
doing the best it can and it is it it's
just confused and so that is a way that
your body considers to quote unquote
take care of yourself but it's not
working you know like so we just have to
you know untangle all of that and just
straighten it around but it's um it's
definitely you have been called when
something like that happens you've been
called and it's okay it's definitely
okay yeah it is and that's part of that
soothing part was to not shame ourselves
to move into that mode of like what is
the solution you know and and so for you
going to immersion I mean what would you
say you know you talked a little bit
about what life looks like down I know
that there's been many different phases
of how you know you even evolved further
but but looking back what would you say
are your biggest ships related to food
in your body but then also with life in
it overall I would say that with food
once again I love to be in the kitchen
it is my favorite place to be and I love
to share my recipes and I it's so funny
she like you say stuff and then like I'm
like wait did I say that no she listened
it because I like saying when I eat food
I would talk to everyone about like why
is this so good
can we really talk about this like it's
just I get it I'm a foodie and it just
it makes me smile and I I may need you
know for example more carbs than someone
else or I may need less of this and I'm
not worried about it anymore and I'm not
so busy looking at other people's plates
like who cares you know they may be like
just enjoy yourself and in the way of my
body and my appearance that was
definitely something that shifted and it
is still shifting for me right now I'm
just I am at peace with my body and I
also know that any standard I ever had
of myself would never have been
sustainable and it was because I needed
to get a life that I was behaving like
that I was just avoiding way too many
things and my life has expanded into I
mean I have like all these new friends
now and I go to all these cool places to
work out and I'm just I do the type of
workouts that I want to do and on top of
that like I'm just not willing to settle
for anything anymore like I am just so
excited and engaged with life and
possibilities yeah I love that and I
love that you're saying like the fettle
part that's the part that I think I talk
a lot about you know trading in your
ho-hum like for life I was just getting
stuff done and crossing things off the
to-do list with this life of like
possibility and knowing that we really
do create our own reality and yes this
program is about breaking free from
yo-yo dieting and self sabotage but
really what it truly is about freedom
and about giving ourselves permission to
live the life of our dreams and I think
for most women and maybe you can speak
to this as well like we tend to put
everybody else's needs in front of our
own and what happens is that ends up
showing up as this you know either
obsession with our body or lack of
Healthcare lack of paying attention to
our body yeah I definitely have done
both and I've seen both with women and
you know I kind of feel like I'm
allergic to the world the word balance
because I know that we definitely tend
to Teeter one way or the other but
acknowledging where we're at that's
really the first step and you know the
many things that you recommend that that
help people along the way when you're
committing to yourself putting it in
your calendar making it a date for
yourself that you're just not willing to
break because you are not doing your
family a favor by disregarding yourself
you're not and as a matter of fact if
you think about it hard enough you may
actually be using it as an excuse at
this point so you need to start getting
really honest with yourself when when it
comes to this because if you want
sustainable change and if you want to
feel better you need to be willing to
take those steps it's so true you know
and I think that for women a lot of
times and we talked about this before as
well and I talked about this on Facebook
lies to that for women a lot of times
it's like if we feel so selfish to give
ourselves some time you know to give
ourselves time to take a bubble bath or
to do this inner work like to go and you
know invest in ourselves to do a program
and then to read the course work in
journal like that's just such a thing
that I think we feel so much shame about
you know putting that time aside for
ourselves when we could spend it with
our family but what I've noticed and I
know this is something that happened for
you as well is that when women do this
work for themselves it cannot not
positively affect their families
especially if they have children you
know and it shows up in being able to be
that example of what it looks like to be
an empowered woman who takes care of
herself and who doesn't pass along these
sort of negative emotional habits to our
kids yes definitely and you know that's
something that we've gone over before
when my daughter came home from college
over the summer
she had gained you know probably like
the freshman 25 instead of the freshman
15 and she was depressed and she was
beside herself I mean it hurt my heart
so much to see her in so much pain
because she knew that she had just
basically disregarded her body and she
didn't know what to do in a reasonable
way to get to where she wanted to go and
I basically use your principal around
her for the entire summer and but by the
time she had been back down at college
in the fall for a month she was back
down to the way that she was comfortable
at and as a matter of fact she now makes
meals for her sorority it quite because
because she loved them and she's a
foodie now too and it means this message
is so doable but you have to be willing
you know you have to be willing to do
the work and you need to put your
reasonability thinking cap on that's
what i like to call it reasonable ility
meaning like what's reasonable what
what's logical for you yeah exactly like
you know I i sat down with her and I
said Hannah what are some things that
you love eating and so we went through
that and we said absolutely you like
cereal you're getting yourself some
cereal like sandwiches you're getting
sandwich you know what I mean it wasn't
like it was an elimination diet and you
can't have this so you know she liked
the ice cream she was getting halo type
ice cream you know and this this whole
idea of a reason ability thinking cap
we've all got it it's just that we keep
borrowing other people yeah or we think
we don't really think that far into the
future about like what's the plan like
what's the ultimate plan would weigh
what do I see myself doing and you know
I love like I've seen her post center in
our facebook group about how you know
she sees other girls just like busting
their butts on the treadmill and just
you know really getting into that super
restrictive mindset but when you really
step back and she's doing this like when
you step back and think about like what
do
I want I want to feel good i want to
have energy i want to feel confident in
my body but I also want to go and have
fun and like you know both of the
sorority parties and and not feel like I
need to be a hermit like you know not do
the isolation thing because it's not
sustainable and it does not no it's not
and and you know that's the thing when
you talk about your own story and how
when you reach Europe at the time you
know I deal you know can we really even
ever say there's an idea we always get
these numbers in our head but whatever
but that you didn't want to go out with
your friend like that's not that's like
that's really sad because everyone else
is doing something you know not that you
had to join the crowd but it was like
you didn't trust yourself enough and
here you were going and you know to
whole foods on the weekend and having
your way with the samples because you
haven't bad you know good meals all week
that's your body you know your body is
saying hey you know let's let's just do
something that's more regulated you know
like it doesn't have to be like a
trigger for me is cheat day hey I don't
like it I don't like it because it's
almost like you're doing something wrong
right like you're doing anything bad
right and you're saying why don't you
have some non-negotiables and guess what
you can have a non-negotiable on
Wednesday gosh darn it if you want a
mess saturday you can have it to you
know what I mean you like it doesn't
have to be that way yeah you know it's
so interesting and maybe this I i I'd
love to hear your thoughts on this too
but it's like when we take the pressure
off and this is something that we talked
about in emergent and I'd love to hear
your feedback so I remember when we were
going through the program the first time
there's a lot of times where you're like
what are you talking about and then
later you're like oh my god it makes
sense but it's like when you take a
pressure off of yourself and you stop
shaming and you stop restricting and all
the negative emotions that you know we
create within our body that then have a
visit like a physiological effect on our
products ability to function it makes
things so much easier like I've noticed
I don't have to work out so hard
I don't have to eat so clean in order to
maintain when I stop guilting and
shaming my body just learns to work like
it can really work like that amazing
machine that it truly is when we take
all of this like Duncan and clogging you
know the emotional clogging out of the
equation yeah i mean i know for a fact
that i told you that i was highly
sensitive to gluten and that basically i
looked three or four months pregnant
every time I had it and would get
migraine headaches and I know that I
also told you that I was I don't even
know I'm so dramatic it was like
severely sugar and tolerant or something
you know because it was like I was very
very crazy around food but here's the
deal my life today I don't have a lot of
golden in my diet but I I wasn't celiac
like I didn't have this huge problem
with it was I probably manifesting
headaches and huge blow yeah could some
of that have been from the gluten maybe
but it's really funny though because
nowadays when I have something with
gluten in it nothing happens to my
stomach I don't get a headache I mean I
don't even take ibuprofen anymore unless
I have you know something else going on
and on top of that with sugar I just
would bang my head with you I was like
she's a pair to go away that i am going
to be able to make these bars and only
have several of them and there were
times that I would like make an APB post
and I would say oh my gosh i went into
the freezer i took more than what i
should have and we talked it out and
once you make all foods available in the
way of saying yeah i could have that if
i wanted to but you know what right now
maybe I feel like this once you put it
all out there and give yourself
permission and trust she loved when you
trust your cells then you're going to be
fine it takes some work to get there but
you will
I think that's one of the words in our
immersion group right now with the group
that's going through this 12 months one
of the main words trust another one is
allow you know that keeps coming up and
allow you know every word sort of has
its own definition for each individual
person but I think the meeting for most
of the women in the group is allowing
meaning like release their resistance
like quit pushing against like just go
with the flow don't make everything such
a big deal like enjoy the process enjoy
the journey is cliches that found some
more we do it the more it's like nothing
ever going wrong because all forward
progress is all an opportunity for
expansion and when we really appreciate
every step in the process it takes so
much of that negative emotion guilt and
shame and fear out of the equation and
then just freeze everything up to work
optimally and I think that's something
that as we experience that for ourselves
like you have you're like oh my god I
get it I really get it yeah and you know
it's funny because when you mentioned
how you would talk about these things
with us half the time I would be oh my
goodness Sheila I'm so mad at you
sometimes I would because I just kept
thinking she doesn't understand she just
doesn't know what it's like to be me
like you know oh and I have said this on
a different energy with you before it
was just almost like Oh miss Santa
Monica you know what I mean it was like
really you really know what it's like
you know and you do and you've been
there and I've been there too and there
really is a different and better way and
once again it's so possible it's totally
possible and when people are feeling
stuck it just means that it's time to go
in a different direction you know you
just gotta step actually not even just a
different direction go with that flow
like what you said just go with the flow
let it take you there and then you are
going to see that the most amazing
things will show up in your way and
they're like on your way
you are going to get where you need to
go but there has to be that willingness
to try something different because what
you're doing now isn't working like you
really just I remember you said that on
our call our discovery call I was like
why can't you just and I can do this and
you said kemp kemp kemp how's that
working out for you like it's not chem
it's not working for you and we just
constantly keep trying these same things
and we develop these habits and all of
this can be changed when you address it
and once you're working with people who
have been there before I just think that
there's so much grace and comfort that
we can find in people that are going
through the same things with us because
sometimes when you see something from
someone else it helps you see it in
yourself and then it just it sinks in
better it's just amazing how the women's
support one another I can't even say
enough about them yeah so I mean just
kind of putting yourself back in those
shoes back when we we had our discovery
call and you know you were going through
a lot of the things that you were going
through in the beginning what advice
would you have for a woman that's there
right now that's like I'm scared I know
what I'm doing is not working but I just
it's like I don't know if I trust myself
enough to do this like that's really at
the root of it anytime we have some sort
of objection whether it's like oh I
don't have the money or I don't have the
time it's really not about that you know
it's really about if you you were
guaranteed that this thing whatever it
is would work and give you what you
wanted you would say yes for that then
then it's not about that doing the work
it's about trusting yourself to actually
show up right and so you know just for
anyone who's stuck in that fear what
would you give them in terms of advice
and moving forward with any sort of
solution that feels like a yes for them
for me I would definitely tell that
individual to consider what it's costing
them right now to not work with you
because
many people that are drawn to you have
tried a lot of different things before
you're generally not the first stop shop
no you're someone who is definitely I
would say thousands of dollars later and
this could be accumulated from over the
years the plans that people buy the
books the people buy the equipment they
don't use you know all of that and it's
just not working for you right now not
to say the bits and pieces of that won't
be interwoven together but something new
needs to be built with a strong
foundation and the cost of not working
with you is just more of the same and
making a commitment when you are on the
phone with you is definitely something
that I found is what I needed to do
because I would be on the phone with you
and I would get so pumped up but then if
I got off the phone with you and back
into my regular life and you know that's
when all the negative Nelly stuff would
come back in so not taking too much time
to decide for me I just needed a pounce
in that moment and I just needed to go
for it and it felt so good when I was
locked in I was locked in with you for
immersion in November but it didn't even
start until January yeah that's what 20
Robin has talked about from he he calls
it making a decision in state and I I've
been there myself like every time that
I've ever worked with a coach I've gone
through the process I've interviewed
different ones and if it felt like and
no I would say okay I'm at it doesn't
stop it but if it felt like a yes I
always take action on the call because
that's when you are in alignment it is
human nature to get off of any sort of
visit decision and whether we're talking
about investing in you know coaching or
we're talking about buying a house or a
car but you're always going to have that
little bit of doubt later on where
you're like oh no because you get scared
right and you have to get yourself the
whole point of of coaching is to get
yourself into that
aight where you recognize like it's not
about the fear we have to take inspired
action from our place of empowerment and
when we take inspired action from our
place of power it cannot not positively
affect you the path to where you're
trying to go like if you have specific
desires the path there may look a little
different than what you you perceive it
should from this perspective you know
quote unquote should look but you're
always going to be moving in the right
direction if you take inspired action if
you follow those yes is a mess but you
know that's one of my biggest messages
especially for women is to really get
yourself into that state and that was
something that you were so good at it
even though you have like bumps along
the way where you felt like oh my gosh
this is this is crazy but you always
came back to your power you know you
always stayed consistent with practicing
I think that was something that you know
I really want to honor and you is that
you were so committed to doing the work
you know even when it was challenging
even but when it took you outside of
your comfort zone you showed up and you
know and it's paid off right like a
sounder you're at now do you have a
totally new life it's not a new life but
you're you're so much more connected yes
I'm connected and when you challenge
yourself in that way because of course
we're designed to not you know we don't
want to be uncomfortable but sometimes
in that discomfort that's when the most
beautiful things happen and grow I mean
I make myself uncomfortable almost every
day now I I was so afraid of being seen
I mean I know that we're coming up to
the end of the hour but for people who
are still listening I want them to know
that when i entered immersion i was
actually contemplating oh and did find a
fake name for myself because I I was
even going to like find like some type
of like standard photo of just like I
don't know like a flower i don't know
like not my face nothing would is there
ever a bug you're talking about for the
facebook group yeah yeah i didn't want
any was like some kind of like
privatized like I don't even know what I
was so afraid of I would not post in the
group's I was I don't know like take
the calls like with the lights down I
like but now people see me everywhere
I'm all over the place and I'm okay with
it and I think that it's just good to be
uncomfortable sometimes and you've got
to know that it does get easier and once
you start doing this it just becomes
more and more effortless and it's
something that you gravitate towards and
you know people have so many people that
they're going to talk to that are going
to say what are you doing with this like
coaching stuff and if you ask your
friends that aren't familiar they're
going to tell you that it that you're
crazy that there's no way you should do
something like that and it's not for
them to know you know like you can go
ahead and you can do this and you don't
need their blessing you know what I mean
it coaching is not for you to get
approval from your friends and family
sometimes you just have to use things on
your own and you're not always meant to
be understood and I know that that can
feel really uncomfortable you know and
and it's okay I did it and it's fine now
you know i'm i'm working with people and
i want to make it my living so you know
you know what i think is really
interesting is that so many so you
mentioned that and and the thing that
comes to mind for me is that a lot of
times it happens with women and their
husbands right I know you kind of went
through that a little bit in the
beginning as well yes where they don't
understand they don't know what coaching
is they don't know links they don't
understand the benefits they weren't
there on our conversation they don't
know what immersion or feel amazing is
all about so investing in yourself is
really something that you have to do in
that self trust that investment is the
first step in prioritizing yourself and
then the most interesting part of all is
that at first it's like you really have
to sort of enroll them in your vision
like here's why I'm doing this here's
why this is going to benefit our family
here's why this is going to benefit up
my relationship our relationship
together and then what happens is that
as you start going through the process
they start seeing the changes in you and
I can't tell you how many times I've had
one
say that their husband said to them to
tell me thank you because I feel like
I've got my wife back thank you I feel
like she's the woman that she is meant
to be she's not you know stuck in her
fear anymore she's shining or they'll
get really curious and they'll ask about
certain things and they'll they'll start
to want to be doing the things with her
that she's doing within the program yay
yeah it's amazing and you know the thing
is is that's okay if in the beginning
people aren't on board you don't need
that you you really don't they will come
around you don't have to force and
effort it on them they will see those
changes in you and that's it that's the
proof positive that it's working yeah
yeah and then it's like at that point
you don't need their validation anymore
because you already have your own as you
point of all of it it's just winning
like everyone's waiting here yeah yeah
well thank you so much again Kim I
really appreciate you taking the time to
do this call with me and you know this
is one of the most requested things that
we've been getting in the community is
this request for interviews from
graduates and so you know we are going
to be doing more of these and you know
obviously they're going to see you if
they're in the private facebook group
i'm going to put all of the links below
the video on where they can find our
private facebook group and you know they
contract with you on facebook there as
well if you want you know we can connect
to if you're in some instagrams too if
you want to leave that as your Instagram
handle so they can find you there but
then just to wrap up do you have any
last words or last things that you want
to share I definitely going back to the
facebook group I I know that there are
so many of you out there that right now
you may not be participating but I know
you're there and just hang in there
because she was cut a lot to cookin in
her kitchen right now here's a lot in
store and it's all good things to come
yes we definitely have so many fun
things on the work so it's going to be a
great year and you know again reach out
I use a group for accountability Kim's
there I'm
there we're all in this together and so
with that we'll go ahead and end and I
hope everyone has an amazing day
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