(singing) Mama said the'll be days like this, the'll be days like this my mama said.
Hi everybody, I'm Amanda the G and I absolutely hate online dating.
It's great for the whole series COBS and getting all of those messages and that, but it really
doesn't translate to dating.
And it's not like I really even care that much about dating someone.
It's more that I really just want help mowing the yard and weeding the garden.
Basically I want a gardener who will work for free.
Is, is that a thing?
I'm terrible (laughing).
And I dislike different sites for different reasons.
There are a ton of online dating sites (pop-up noises) (groan) I've tried a few of them and
there's definite cons to each one.
We'll start with eHarmony.
For some reason I decided to pay to use this site in my mid-twenties I think?
My early twenties?
Somewhere in there?
I spent forever filling out their little questionnaire and setting up a profile and doing all of
that.
And there's so many people on there who did the free weekend sometime and their profile
just never goes away.
It's just there.
So you can see it, read through it, but good luck cause they're not actually there.
Also if you do the free communication, by the way, you can't ever see profile pictures
when you do that, so it is and it isn't helpful.
They have the most obnoxious guided communication, where it's like here is a question that you
can select from, and then you have multiple choice answers.
And it's terrible.
And you have to go through back and forth a few times before you can actually write
a message.
Which I understand and I don't.
Cause it's kinda hard to come up with a first message but their communication doesn't really
give you what you might be asking.
And it seems kind of, like, perfunctory.
Then the other problem that I really had with eHarmony is it is very much set up for a very
traditionalist view - men and women meet each other, get married, have babies.
And if you don't wanna be in that group at all or part of that for whatever reason, it's
not really set up to do anything else.
You can select other things but your then selection is not very big.
And basically I went on a date in six months of paying for it.
Another popular paid site is match.com.
I went to sign up for, did not pay for, because they let you see ahead of time who's on the
site.
Which I appreciate!
So you know that you're not wasting your time and your money.
I went through, set up a profile, looked at what was there, and did a very cursory search
of a broad age range of non-smokers who didn't want children and I got less than 20 results.
Of those less than 20, you figure probably none of them are actually gonna be compatible
but maybe a handful, but you never even know if they're on the site and if they're paying
to use it.
Then there's a variety of other sites that I have not used and I haven't paid for because
I don't really see the point in paying for it, see previous note about eHarmony.
Let's move on to some of the free sites.
If you wanna be a super creeper, you can use craigslist.
Then there are sites like okcupid where everything is free, but also, good luck.
There's a whole bunch of people there, you can kind of filter for what you're looking
for but their search feature isn't the greatest, so if you filter for a specific thing - like
does not want children or does not smoke or something like that - it will work if they've
listed that in your profile but if you have a blank section in your profile, it doesn't
include that person at all.
A lot of people haven't filled out everything and if you haven't filled out everything then
it doesn't come up in the search.
So then you have to broaden your search and then you have to physically, like, look at
everything and then exclude it yourself because you can't look for blanks.
That's just a frustration thing.
And then there's the whole like match percentage on okcupid, which, if you don't know, is set
up basically like, here's a whole bunch of random questions that really don't have anything
to do with anything, and some of them do, but a lot don't.
So then you just answer them and then it gives you a percentage.
So that is and is not helpful.
I've also noticed that there tends to be a better result when you're younger, at least
for being a woman and being younger.
I was on that site fresh out of grad school and there were a lot of messages and I got
that little email that says you're one of the more attractive people blah blah blah,
which I don't believe, but whatever.
And then I got rid of my profile, got off the site, all of that.
I went back to it, set up a new profile, and I've never gotten that attractive message,
and it's not the same sort of fervor that there was when I was younger.
Yay for getting old!
Then there's Plenty of Fish which is pretty much the same thing as okcupid except they
do the percentages differently.
And I don't really understand how they do a "top match."
You do a personality profile instead of answering a bunch of questions and then it's unclear
how all of it relates and I'm not actually sure that anything relates to anything on
any of these sites.
Then you've got apps like tinder which is basically just swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe,
swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe- The problem there is there's no such thing as a filter at all.
You have distance and age.
So it's clearly set up to be a hookup app and absolutely nothing else, although people
try and use it for other things.
And even if you're just using it for a hookup app, couldn't you also include, like, smoking
versus non, cause that's kind of a big issue sometimes.
Or has kids versus not which might or might not be an issue depending upon the person.
It's also attached to your Facebook which is kinda creepy.
It's not really attached but you use Facebook to sign into it and it's just weird.
But even though it takes your contact list, it doesn't eliminate them from the people
that it pulls up!
If you know we're friends on Facebook, maybe don't include their picture there.
And then we come to Bumble which has a similar basic set up as tinder but it's designed to
be more dating focused, I think.
So it's also swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe with a very short profile and pictures that it
also connects to your Facebook but then you don't have to use the pictures from Facebook.
And once more, like tinder, you're only able to communicate with people that you have mutually
matched with.
The problems with Bumble are that it's designed to be a little bit nicer towards women but
it's not really.
That was their main focus, was well women are getting bombarded with these messages,
ignoring the fact that men are also getting bombarded with these messages, ignoring people
non-binary getting bombarded with messages and the fact that people just bombard with
messages.
And it says, ok, let's let women make the first move, ALWAYS.
If you match, you have 24 hours to send a message.
That's it!
And did I mention really short profiles, like some people don't put anything there or it's
a sentence.
How do you write a message off of a sentence and 3 pictures IN 24 HOURS?!
You might be doing other things!
You might be somewhere else and your match will just expire because you couldn't be near
your phone at that time.
Then they have 24 hours to respond back, and if they don't, it disappears!
And I am terrible at this.
I thought, ok, I'll download it, maybe it'll be better.
I'm terrible.
I don't know how to do this.
Yeah, I can call out other people's bullshit messages all the time, but you want me to
craft a real one?!
I resort to a meme.
I wish they'd taught us more about Vikings.
Yeah, that's my opening line.
Told ya I can't do this.
I find it interesting that we've kind of switched from online dating is this whole taboo thing
to just the only way to meet somebody is through online dating.
Don't really know exactly when that happened.
(disgusted) Great shifting in our culture, I'm so super thrilled about it, clearly.
Those are just some of my thoughts about why I hate online dating.
I know other people love it or it's worked for them, so if it works for you go right
ahead and use it and if it doesn't, welcome to the club.
That's it for this video, if you liked it, click the like button and subscribe to my
channel, I make a new video every Tuesday.
Thank you guys so much for watching.
MWAH! (singing) I don't want you any old way, so I don't worry cause-
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