nope I can't believe they're making me read this entire thing you know who else
like to make people read things Hitler story time I remember receiving my first
letter from my son a few years back scribbled on it for the words I love you
I was so happy I cried oh boy Berdych name followed by Bree at a time is this
gonna be about some kidness daddy issues
for some years now I've been investigating a certain father and son
and those chains of the first letter of the boy wrote to his father
it said father one day I will tear you to pieces
yep yep that's exactly what this is going to be about oh boy lash back
Wow they are pulling any pup whoa what this shit bro okay how do I do this I
can play Tekken since I was 11 and I'm just going in assuming it plays like
Street Fighter damn move list okay okay I'm just gonna limp over here I'm gonna
do you proud pop what are you proud somebody do it Bob good made you proud
yeah how about now now dad but I know you love me let me show you okay okay
true I had to be conceived one way or another but I was really expecting this
is sparta huh don't do that dad are we still going to Dairy Queen sure son
Dairy Queen it's at the bottom of this cliff yeah you can go wow that is some
bullshit
modern day relevant some cinematic experiences yay ah nothing says gritty
and hard like fighting in Iraq and stormtroopers goons we could use some
assassins at a bar drinking whiskey brooding over this guy they killed this
one time or maybe it was a woman who thought shit is this guy hey hey hey
dad I was looking I swear I'm sorry
as a leader of the mission mother but she's supposed to be in charge or okay
okay no no just answer my question with exposition don't just show these guys
are obviously respecting this woman's authority no this is cool too
fear and hatred and develop the globe uh that's not Shmuel t at all wow this is
becoming really like gene for Dixie third despair awoke so an angel why wake
it up in the first place it sounds like everything would have been fine if you
didn't pick this demon in the earth off gene defeated Isabel in battle I mean
could the window you can kinda plunge it into World War three the war that genes
again have now evolved into a battle between the Mishima Zaibatsu
and G corporation let me guess one Jin runs Mishima and dad runs by box
ooh right it's winner take on corporations
fighting wars not country tell me that is some fucking money G the one who
started out I've gone missing in the Middle East his whereabouts remain
unknown but his disappearance has tipped the scales and G cost saver
idiot see that guys and girls fucking suit pick boys stormtrooper helmets
armor tricked-out gear you know advise that kind of shit
Illuminati money you in so much a team Illuminati fuck yeah okay Jin didn't
know what
Saoirse video chronologically foot Oh God the source of all daddy issues
look again you looking up today Neto to you when you are getaway
you
if there were demons in this world what form would they take human form they
would take human form that quick no fucking joke look at everything we're
doing right now I was reporting from a battlefield look at this shit humans are
doing do you still not get it like this yeah yep a message was waiting for me I
was dumbstruck how could my hometown have come under
attack I mean there were bombs in shape when I returned nothing was as I
remember I mean the city is on fire hardly a car in sight okay but this
sounds very sad and I should probably be sympathizing with you but you really
sound like you're reciting something an eighth grader for poetry class like
really mad no this guy jar burning grandeur pungent sir the police I once
called home was now just an ashen field oh my god you just don't stop you really
just don't know how to stop thee and delivery trucks anything else to share
with the class no good back to the fighting fuck yes
stormtroopers hey you know what small government has fucking suit global
warming in small hands they also don't have hot blondes in leather suits do you
really want to live in a world like that where mega corporations don't rule the
world look in your hearts are looking rock yeah thrown supers just like I
remember in the good old days
yep the Empire is back baby guys I know those guns are badass but
you're strong troopers even if you could aim you would never fit in not even with
a rocket launcher hey what did we just go over definition of insanity
I just realized major here is speaking in English and everyone else is speaking
Japanese put up with sign an AK
well surely stormtroopers your gun power level could not kick him what hook be a
shit Oh feet work guy kick him
it is literally your only hope oh my god did we not just go over the gun thing I
am seriously beginning to sense a pattern here see this is what okay okay
I haven't done this in a while so bear with me okay this is not Street Fighter
at all why can't I just Bob just wow that is I'm not sure you
can how do i what kind of tank control bolt you're an old man squeeze
silly stormtroopers
this guy's blocked knives with his fists and blondie here is gonna fuck with him
nope what do you want now is she really speaking English while he
and everybody around her speak Japanese
wow I am not as impressive as a cinematic for fuck's sake okay I'm
getting my ass kicked
okay time to disappoint my dad
where's your God now bitch yeah keep your Christianity the fucker
japan-america Oh kaio-ken fortunately for you I have mastered the pot take
this my super secret we will never speak of it how okay babies wait until I get
up teaching happens when I okay this is gonna be a bit of an uphill battle okay
I got it hey all guys do you keep grab some low
kick he just like my childhood but without the button mashing works every
time
kneel before Japanese Trump and he's incredibly big hands
did we just forget how ineffective guns were like the foolish fools foolishly
foolish fool foolishly forget the fooling of your lack of foolish
pattern-recognition
guys just follow me and make Mishima great again we're going to build a wall
it's gonna be awesome come on okay am i cliche enough to be a
villain yet yeah smelly I am even dr. Japanese mob boss black leather gloves
tournament okay I guess this is like the opening anime right
the king of I am pissed at ornamental Kaiser you cocoon is sensitive so can
you guys understand every language but only speak one helps talk through that
work with us have you know hmm did you gotta like the way hey hottie
series like an important Japanese sounding announcer dude who's loud and
proud all the time no matter who's in front of him no matter how hope
inappropriate he sounds at this very moment goes over I can subscribe we're
all in baby one dolphins or something yeah that's so
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