This episode, we leave behind my group tour of southern Mexico and look at my time in Cozumel! Wow!
If I died and went to my own personal hell would be IKEA.
If I died and went to my own heaven, it would be Cozumel. What am I talking about? Come on, let's start the show!
So we arrived in Playa del Carmen
You know, it was okay. It was okay. Pretty much what I would imagine Bali is like, I haven't been there,
But there is lots of Australians acting drunk and obnoxious, but in Playa Del Carmen it was Americans doing the same thing.
So I was walking the streets of Playa del Carmen and this American dude walks up to me,
and from the other side of the road, he starts yelling, "Hey you! Hey you!"
Anyway, I ask my self, what does this guy want?
He crosses the road, he doesn't look at traffic,
II ask myself, what does this big fat man want? Anyway, he gets really close to me, gets his little fanny pack and
unzips it, he has three U.S. Dollars. He starts waving it in my face. He yelled "Take me to blah blah blah hotel!
"Take me to blah blah blah hotel!" He thought I was Mexican!
I mean, blond hair, blue eyes. Of course, I'm Mexican. With the Australian flag
on my sandles.
I just like played along, I said "Lo siento señor, no hablo ingles."
So anyway, the group tour is over and I'm staying with Savannah for a couple of nights.
Just chilling out,
made some new friends, Playa Del Carmen was okay, but it was time to go. tI caught a ferry, it was a really nice ride, there was a band playing.
Pretty cool
Anyway, I get to Cozumel and
My hostel that I'm
working at is just a couple of
minutes away from the ferry station. It's fantastic, 2Dive Hostel.
So I spent the next couple days working at this hotel, I'll tell you what the duties were, making beds and laundry
mostly. It sounds pretty
easy, really?
I almost died! I almost died, several times! I thought it was the thing that was going to kill me. I really did.
The bunks were really high and I had to get in there,
which seemed a bit risky. Anyway, you know, that was fine, but that got there in the end. The thing that really scared me and
and I thought was going to kill me was doing the washing! to question me. The washing machine was very modern. modern get that cool
But the bag to take the washing out was a broken dive bag.
Okay, whatever, I through it all in.
Then you have to walk through the bathroom, into a cubicle which is not a cubicle. It has a ladder there and a pulley system.
I Attach the bag to the pulley system, climb up a ladder through the manhole in the roof.
Then I'm on the roof, trying to pull, pull, pull up this
pully, trying to get the
laundry through the roof without falling back in, or smashing the bag and having to go back down and get all the laundry.
I thought I was going to die! I I thought I was going to die, but I didn't.
I live to do more laundry.
So, I am in Cozumel for a couple of days by myself.
It's okay, better than Playa del Carmen, not as touristy, but if you want to get to a decent beach
you have to catch a taxi, basically. There's one little beach called Playa Azul,
a really beautiful beach,
where the locals go, but still it's an hour's walk out of town.
So I decided to go a bit further afield. The guys I was working with didn't recommended it.
They said it's a bit of a waste of money and a bit of a waste of time.
It's mostly where the cruise ships go. So a very limited kind of beach club.
As you know, I had been ripped off before in Playa Del Carmen at a beach club.
Oh
I take it to taxi out to one the
further out beaches.
It was quite beautiful.
I was wary, I was wary. I'd been ripped off before at a beach club. So I was wary.
But the guy said, "Hey, all you is 400 pesos and you can drink and eat as much as you want!" and I say, "fine,
thank you! So that's it, I don't have to pay anything more?"
He said, "No man, it's cool!"
And I said, "Fuck yeah!"
So I had a really nice afternoon. I had some calamari,
I had a few margaritas, a pina colada. Anyway, this place was closing at five.
Fair enough, it was a fair way out of town.
I make my way towards the exit, and the guy says
"Sir, Sir, you haven't paid!" I said, "What?"
Not again! Whatever it was, wasn't covered. He didn't explain it very well.
I asked to see the manager, it got a little hostile. I had about five US dollars on me, they got that.
"OK, man, you better get out of here. It's about now that alligators start to come out."
"They've already fucking come out man!" But he said,
"No man, there are alligators here."
"Of course there are, of course there are." So at this stage there's not many taxis left at the rink.
I was getting worried because I no longer had any cash on me and they don't
accept card.
I probably wouldn't be comfortable paying with card anyway at this point. I find this driver,
I have like 50 pesos. I ask "Can you get me to the nearest ATM and I will pay you whatever the
normal amount is, 200 pesos. But
he said "300 man." Just to get just to get the closest fucking
cash machine!
That was achieved, I pay
two or three hundred pesos for the privilege of just getting to cash machine, still a long way away from the
middle of town, where I needed to be. I said "Thank you, goodbye. I'll walk the rest of the way bitch!"
So I did that, went to a few bars on the way and I found this beautiful place,
with a really nice sunset. That was where I was going to take Bernardo.
The day had arrived! Bernardo was coming to Cozumel, finally!
It was a pretty special arrival.
He got off the boat,
he dropped his bags there and ran over to me.
We kissed and cuddled, and all that stuff. It was kind of like something out of a movie.
It was so good to see him and smell him and taste him and be with him again.
We just spent most of that first day just walking around the city,
city, town.
We did some shots of mezcal,
had some beers and things, then we found our favourite little bar, just across from
the hostel, called
Woody's.
Yeah, kind of Americanised.
But nice, and it had a good singer there that seemed to like us. So the next few days we spent just getting to know each other.
And having amazing sex, that was awesome.
Trying different cafes and bars.
I also had to work during this time, so
fearing for my life
doing the laundry.
That was not so fun.
We just got to know each other
Fuck man, we had both had some fucked up boyfriends, lived through fucked up situations, had fucked up stuff from childhood, fucked up histories.
It just seemed like, finally it's time to meet someone nice!
We both came into each other's lives at just the right time.
We had both given up on love and all that shit really.
Having kids and having a family, having a husband?
No thank you!
I didn't want that, and neither did he until we realised we could have that with each other.
We spent time together,
We had
more amazing sex, that was lovely. I even watched "Bridget Jone's Diary"
I broke up with a girl because...
Well, one of the reasons was because she wanted me to go see "Bridget Jone's Diary" I said, "That's not who I am, I'm not a
romantic comedy dude, that's not my thing, I don't that shit, man! But it
turns out if you actually like someone, if you love someone, you can
stand almost any romantic comedy.
I got to understand his taste, his love of Britney Spears. It wasn't because he was gay and it's really poppy.
He could identify with her struggles and they kind of looked like his own struggles he was going through.
And why he gets so much from her music. I actually respect that. I actually had a new found
respect I guess for Britney Spears.
Thanks Bernardo.
Anyway,
so things were perfect.
Really, really amazing.
It got to a time, when I had to take out the
rings that I bought in Oaxaca and Merida.
I couldn't decide which one to give him, or what they were even look for. Are they
engagement rings? Are they commitment rings? What the fuck are they? I took him to Playa Azul,
the closest beach in town.
It's beautiful.
We had a few beers,
we had more amazing sex on the beach. So we were just sitting there and I get two things from my bag
I don't know if this is a great way to propose.
So I asked him, which hand would you like? pick a hand!
And he said, "What?"
Yeah, which hand? Which hand, which hand! And
he said "This one!"
It was a ring and in the other one was obviously another ring, I didn't know which one he would like.
But I gave it to him, I gave both!
Yeah, so we both had matching rings! What were they? I had wanted to propose, like fully propose.
After talking and thinking about it, it made us ask, Well, do we really want that? I
didn't want it to be a holiday fling, I wanted this to be real, so I thought, no just take it slow. So this is a
pre-engagement ring, we decided upon when we talked about what it actually was and meant.
After that, we would say, "I love you my future husband!"
All this cheesy stuff.
So that was very special.
The ring ceremony had been completed and
we decided to go back to the hostel.
Then we decided to go to Woody's, because that's what we always did just before we went back to the hostel.
We had a giant margarita each of course, as is the custom.
Then Bernardo went up to the dude that was singing that night.
I said, "What's this all about baby?"
He said, "You will see, you will see."
Anyway
What happened next was one of the most beautiful experiences in my life. It is one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given.
And Bernardo,
Thank you. Thank you, thank you thank you for it.
It has taken me a long time to be able to watch it, obviously because of what happened later.
And all the emotions that are connected with it, and thinking I would never be that happy again, blah blah blah.
But it was a beautiful time, and this is a beautiful gift.
So I'm going to leave that for this week. You'll see what the gift is on our next episode of
Down Under and South of The Border! Be sure to subscribe to the channel, please subscribe, man, please subscribe! You don't want to miss a thing!
Next week, we'll be looking at that very gift. What is it?
You'll find out then. Stay tuned guys. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more butt shots and whatever. Love you all!
Kisses!
Adios Amigos!
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