hey guys it's Mel and I'm back with another video and today we are talking
about Julian as you guys can see by the title I am going to share just an
update of his progress and how he's developing and how he's been growing
since he got home on the 19th was exactly a month that we got home and
it's just it's crazy we're kind of at this weird point now where it just kind
of feels like we've had him for ever and then other times it's just like wow like
he he's just been home for a month like that's not a long time at all of you but
anyway so today I just wanna yeah I just want
to talk to you guys about how he's doing I know a lot of you are curious and
especially because these videos really helped me out when we were in the
process I really enjoyed watching other people's experience and just kind of
hearing what they had to say so you know I this may or may not help anyone out
there and I'm just I just want to make these for us to look back on and for him
to look back on so yes so if you guys are new here and don't know Julian has
been home for a month and he is actually turning two next month I know a lot of
you guys didn't know how old he was so yeah he's going to be 2 and I'm so
happy that he gets to be home for that I don't really know or think we're gonna
have anything big I'm not sure yet but we missed his first birthday obviously
and so we were just really happy that he got to be here for a second
so yeah that's going to be next month he is 27 pounds and I believe it was 34
inches tall so he is pretty average I guys like I'm pretty sure they said he
was like 50th percentile for both so yeah he is growing great and everything
is going well so first things first how is he doing he is
oh my gosh he is doing so much better just overall better I would say he is
definitely showing signs of being more comfortable he definitely trusts us a
lot more than he did when we got him of course
so in terms of like eating and sleeping and bathing and little things like that
like everyday life type of things when we first got home he was it wasn't bad
per se but he you could tell that he wasn't comfortable so for example he
wouldn't really want to eat he was kind of snacking more so on like a survival
type of way he wouldn't just sit down and have a meal like he wouldn't just
want to eat whenever you would give him food he would just kind of grab whatever
you had as he was walking by type of thing and I know that sounds like it's
not a big deal and maybe a lot of kids do that but it's so different from today
like today he will sit down like well I think he wants to II will sit down he
will have an entire meal he is so much more willing to try things he loves
pretty much anything like right like this kid eats everything and when we
first got him he definitely did not want to even eat things that that we knew he
liked even things that like foster mom gave us for him to have those first few
days like he just he didn't want anything we kind of agreed that it
probably came down to like a trust thing like he didn't know who we were so for
us to give him something that even if it seemed familiar to him like he was still
like no see no thanks and so yeah like now he trusts us enough to know that
like we've looked after him and he will go for almost anything that we offer to
him what that means that I did want to mention that we do offer and have made
him Korean meals maybe not like super homemade and delicious as what he had of
course but we've tried our best and he like that and he also eats Mexican food
he loves beans and rice and tortillas and he's ate I mean he eats all types of noodles
he's had a egg rolls like he will just eat anything so yeah that's how his eating
is which is great so ask for sleeping sleeping was definitely our biggest
challenge when we got home both bedtime and naptime were just
miserable I mean he just did not want to go to sleep with us which understandably
so he really always wanted to leave during that time like he would run to
the door or he would call out for his foster family and things like that which
of course that was very very hard and it was a very challenging and emotional and
that was the most grieving he ever did was when it came down to sleeping oh man
just thinking about it it was it was heartbreaking um we would spend a lot of
time just holding him while he cried and just holding him while he rocked and
there were definitely times where he would just so strongly push off of me
that I would have to hand him off to Shane to try to like comfort him because
I like I physically felt like I couldn't even hold on to him anymore like he was
just trying to literally jump out of my arm but for the most part he was okay
just being held but he was he was crying he was really upset it was really really
hard those were definitely some of the hardest times that we went through with
him and him coming home so about two weeks in is when he started to get
better with that he he didn't really cry as much he just kind of like knew that
it was bedtime and there was some whimpers here and there which we're
still really really sad but overall he was a lot more easily comforted he
wanted us to hold him when it was bad time and just little things like that
started to change now about a week and a half ago I would say was the first time
that he was 100% okay like not even a single wine of any sort came out of him
when it was time to go to sleep I was holding him and we said you know it's
nighttime and we try to say it in Korean what we know and so all of that happened
and I walked into the room and all of a sudden like he just put his head down
and I heard nothing and he laid on me I was just you know patting him and
rubbing his back and what I normally do and he just went to sleep I mean he did
not seem upset at all and that was the first night that I remember walking out
of that room and after he went to sleep and just you know telling Shane and
we've just celebrated we were like oh my gosh like that's a child who feels safe
you know and he feels like he trusts you enough to put him to sleep and and just
that feeling was so great and it was just definitely one of those moments
where wow it was so relieving and if you're an adoptive parent and then you
probably remember that feeling or look forward to that feeling where you just
have a sense of relief and this sense of like hey it's going to be okay that was
definitely a light at the end of the tunnel type of moments for me because
there was there was quite a lot of moments where I was I mean I was hurting
for him and I was just in so much pain wondering if when's I gonna get better
is it going to get better like just not knowing when he was going to be okay was
rough I mean it was rough that stuff is amazing progress especially for months
and I didn't know what I was expecting but it was a sweet surprise that he's
been getting better because yeah that was definitely a really hard time
so as for speaking oh my gosh you guys this this boy is just he is a
sponge-like he is soaking up everything that we are
teaching him in such a great like it is crazy to see how much he's learned
already if you guys follow me on instagram you'll probably notice that
I'll post every so often whenever he tries to copy a new word and stuff like
that of course he's not fully comprehending what he's saying and of
course he's not like speaking English already or anything like that but he
definitely tries I mean he copies everything we say every time there's a
new object or anything like that we pointed out we say what it is and he
will point out it there is definitely some words that he does understand now
for example um he learned Apple and every time he sees an Apple he says it's
an Apple his new thing this week is cars he sees a car points out cars all day
long talks about cars he shows me a car and he's just going around saying car
for her car for her car and he calls Luca Luca and he called also says buggy
now which buggy is his nickname if you guys know us we've called Luca buggy his
whole life and so he's saying that stuff and he like that's totally unprompted
and yeah so now for example for Mama which is food he sometimes tends to say
mama eat mama eat so because we do the back and forth thing he's starting to do
the back and forth thing so it's really cute I mean he's he's really trying to
do it all essentially we're trying to teach whatever word is easier I guess
but also singing it in the other language it's been working out he's
understanding us great he understands simple things like go throw this in the
trash he knows what that is he understands sit down he understands go
get me your shoes he just seems so smart and we are always so thankful and just
impressed I guess with how how well he is always trying to learn
and how well he was being raised by his foster family I think so yeah that's how
he's doing in the language and speaking Department few things I want to mention
about him just likes dislikes little things like that would be he loved
eating I mean oh my goodness he could just eat all day really if I
let him I'm not kidding you when I say that he definitely has days where he
eats more than Luca which is crazy because look at it is going to be sick
so that's okay but he definitely needs a lot and he is a good eater another thing
he really loves is his brother his young Luca he really loves to be around him
and they have this kind of a weird relationship right now I don't know if
it's right now or if it's just all the time forever going to be this way but
they're definitely siblings I mean they can just play and laugh and chase each
other and have a grand old time and then all of a sudden they're screaming and
they want to be away from each other and Julian gets super overwhelmed and so we
need to be like okay you guys need you need some space right now so that's
definitely a lot of the way it's going on look at that has been just the most
sweetest brother in the entire world I mean he wants to love him so much but of
course Julian has moments where he doesn't want to be loved on and so he's
like way beyond so there's a lot of yelling back and forth sometimes and
that's kind of been a little bit of a struggle here and there just because we
didn't expect that we didn't know that Luca I would you know be so like so
affectionate that we could not pull him away and you know we didn't have another
kids so it is we just didn't know what was gonna happen so that's the
it's been somewhat challenging to try to figure out what the best way to go about
it is and just to see their dynamic and and see what's normal and what's too
much and you know just little things like that but overall like a kids so
happy to see him everytime you look that comes home from school he gets really
excited and look at just oh my gosh look I just cannot leave him alone
I don't like I said it's it's just it's great he is precious and I'm so happy
that he loved them so much but your parents of more than two props to you
because I'm struggling over here sometimes and I'm just like how how do
people have more I don't know Julian also loves to go outside loves to go
outside any time that we ask him he is ready he
will bring his shoes and he wants to go he also loves the water he loves baths
he likes being in the pool he loves me turning on the sink I mean we're like he
does he loves playing with water so that's also really exciting for us
because we love being in the water Luca has grown up being in the water his
whole life so we just are naturally people who love going to do water
activities and it's so great that he is enjoying them as well I don't think
there's anything that he doesn't really like to do or anything like that and
mostly of course just you know being told no and telling him that he's had
enough to eat it can be a little bit of a struggle
sometimes but overall he's come such a long way already where he accepts a
thing no like if we point something out and we say no let's not let's not go
here or let's not touch this or here let's go this way instead or anything
like that he is so cool with that now I mean compared to when he first got here
he would lose it I mean he was just he was not happy and now he's so much he is
so much more chill with with those things after he started sleeping better
he is he is overall happier and that's really as good as we could have hoped
for I mean everything else he's he's a toddler and toddlers are a lot of work
and toddlers can be hard sometimes and they can be a little challenging and
stubborn and stuff like that but overall I mean progress from when he came home
has been so good so this is something that I kind of think about all the time
and I I wouldn't call it a struggle but it's definitely something that comes up
every so often and sometimes it's sounder than others I guess and the
reason why I want to share with you guys is because I don't feel like I hear
people talking about this very much it's definitely a private feeling where I
really only share it with Shane and I don't really talk about it out loud so
that would be the area of bonding and attachment and things like that because
even though he's been making huge progress and he just seems better and
happier and things are changing for me I feel like he has become more and more
our son every day I mean every day we kind of feel more and more like we have
two kids and it is very obvious that we have two kids and we have two boys and
these are our sons and it just every day life feels normal in terms of us having
two kids right but it is very obvious that to him I'm not his mom yet I don't
expect it to happen now I didn't expect this happen now I guess but for some
reason I think it hurts more than I thought it would I was super like
prepared for this actually I was I was always saying like you know this is
probably gonna happen and he's probably not gonna feel that way and it's
probably gonna take time and he's probably just going to be okay with us
but not really care about us and just all these little things that I I had in
my mind but to actually live it it's kind
of weird I guess I think some days I get sad so I have some moments where I just
want to like embrace him and and just hold him and be affectionate with him
and sometimes he lets me and sometimes he actually does it back but it just
doesn't feel like he really wants to as much as he's just answering back to my
affection I hope that's making fun again the only reason why I'm sharing this is
because I want you guys and everyone to know that even though I'm sharing the
all the great things and all the positive things and all the good happy
feelings there is also a lot of hard feelings and a lot of sad feelings and
a lot of insecurities that are coming from this and I've been feeling like I'm
not doing my best even though I know I am it's almost like to him that's not
good enough and I know that sounds crazy because I know that he doesn't know that
he's not actually judging me he's not actually aware of you know what I'm
doing or what I'm not doing but again I knew this was gonna happen I am well
aware this is gonna happen and if you're nothing this may very well happen to you
but I think it's harder when you're going through it and I think that's
something that people don't really talk about it almost seems to me like most
people try to just focus on the good and happy abduction and that's great and
I've said this before and I'll say it again and I'll say it a million times
there is not just beauty in an option there is so much brokenness that comes
from adoption and sometimes I tend to see that a lot more than other days
there's again there's moments where I focus on just how beautiful he is and
how what a miracle he is in our lives and just what an awesome story but I
have other moments where I can't see past the hurt and
the history of him and just the brokenness and you know his his his
attachment his bonding not being there and just all that stuff and that's if
that doesn't matter it's not about me and I've known this this is not about me
but I'm a mom and as a mom I feel I feel things and I have this craving for her
over protecting and over loving my children you know and and many of you
guys have actually noticed that I we are very loving and so it's kind of really
hard when you don't feel it back yet maybe in time it's going to be okay
maybe it's gonna happen next month or maybe it's gonna take a whole year or
maybe it's gonna take longer I don't know but I want you guys to know that
this is happening and that it's it's a very raw feeling that I have and that we
go through and we're patiently waiting for it to change and I and I'm hopeful
that it'll be okay and that this feeling will go away I want you guys to know the
truth and not just hey he's doing good and everything's great and he's you know
everything is like nothing ever happened in talega that's not at all what's going
on here so yeah I just wanted to share that with you guys I hope that's okay
so before I leave I wanted to also again thank you guys so so so much our channel
is about to hit 100,000 subscribers and that is like I'm speechless it's like
actually unbelievable still can't believe this is happening but thank you
guys so so much I'm getting so many messages and so many sweet words and and
just encouragement and kindness from so many of you that I'm just like in awe so
thank you guys so so much for doing that and with that being said I don't have
like a plan for our vlogs I don't have a schedule we are just a family channel
that wanted to film our our life and our and essentially make these home videos
for us to see and to share we're just going to keep sharing our life when we
can and there's a lot of moments where we won't and and that's just the way we
are choosing to keep this so if you guys want to follow along definitely
subscribe so that you're here with us whenever we do I mean we usually try to
do like a a weekly type of thing just because we do enjoy filming our lives
but I can't promise you guys that you know every single Monday or any specific
day but week or anything like that just just because our life is very busy
sometimes sometimes it's not but sometimes was busy Shane is going back
to work and he's in the military and he's gonna start leaving here and there
and so sometimes it's just not totally possible
so yeah so before I leave I am going to go ahead and get Julian so that you guys
can see how he's doing he's already growing I feel like like he just he
looks already so much bigger than when we first picked them up so it's yeah
it's kind of sad um yeah let me go ahead and grab up so you guys can see him and
say hi yummy had to bribe him with some snacks cause he
loves some raisins oh he's so sweaty that's all oh thank you can you say thank
you yeah thank you thank you okay your turn can you see right there can you see
Julian say hi hey hey okay also says bye you didn't say hi but he says bye okay
another raisin can you say chuseyo say please yeah so as you guys can
see he's a super active boy he doesn't really want to be sitting down very long
so I have to like give him a snack huh he's funny yeah he's he's good he's a
cutie pie saranghaeyo saranghaeyo saranghaeyo I love
you I love you I love you no thank you Julian so thank you guys so much for
watching don't forget to love one another and we will see you in our next
video. Can you say bye? say bye kiss muah
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