Do you serve a church ministry and have a fear of criticism? Are you a people
pleaser like I am? If so you're gonna want to hang around for this video. We're
gonna be discussing the fear of criticism from this new book called Rise
Up by Vanessa Myers. Hi my name is Shawn. if you are new I would love for you to
consider subscribing to this channel I post new content on fun, faith, and
motherhood every week. Let's get into today's video. Vanessa Myers has been a
children's ministry director and has been in church ministry for years and
years. And she has her first book called Rise Up that just came out. You do not
have to have read this book to watch this video. I highly recommend this book.
I did receive this book free from the author but I absolutely loved it because
I connected so well with it. She goes through multiple fears in church
ministry. fear of God's calling. fear of learning more. fear of loneliness. fear of
change. fear of criticism which we're gonna be talking about which is chapter
5. fear of Authority. fear of not being good
enough. fear of moving. fear of know and listening for failure. fear of giving up.
and then her last chapter is called letting go and rising up which gives us
some helpful ways of overcoming our fears in church ministry. hello anybody
else have a fear of criticism? this video is also going to be a chance to
win a copy of the book for yourself. the author is graciously going to mail out-
to anyone in the world -one person- to win a copy of her book. So make sure you
watch the end of this video to get the details on that giveaway. Let's jump into
today's video. Have you ever felt the pressure to please other people? In
Vanessa Myers's book she says "when you work in the church there's not just one
person you want to please but many people." and isn't that true? we have our
pastor to please. we have our bosses. we have the committee that's in charge of
us as staff. we have the church people. the pew people. the parents. we have our
family at home. all of these people that we are trying to please and all of these
potential people to give us criticism. criticism can hurt so bad .those words
from other people, especially when you feel like you're doing God's work, to
hear criticism from other Christians just cuts so deep. Now in Vanessa
Myer's book she does offer some solutions that we will get to further on
in this discussion of how we can overcome this fear of criticism. I'm
going to state the obvious that you're not going to want to hear because I
never want to hear it. but here's the obvious: you can't please everyone and
not everyone is going to like you. that's hard isn't it?
I want everybody to like me. I have a YouTube channel. I want everybody to like
me. I don't want anybody to hate me and I
get comments. I get mean comments all the time. There's absolutely no way to please
everybody. somebody is going to be disappointed in us. and somehow as church
people we have to wrap our minds around that and be okay with the fact that
somebody's gonna dislike us in the church. somebody is not gonna like what
we're doing. we can't please everybody. once we start pleasing one group of
people then another group of people is going to be upset with us. I guarantee it.
there's no possible way to please everybody in the church. there's no
possible way to have everybody in the church like you and that is hard to hear.
that hurts doesn't it? Vanessa Meyer says "when you are being attacked in your job
it is hard what's worse is when you are serving God on staff as a church and you
are being criticized by other Christians." that is so true. it hurts even
worse when it's Christians because you expect non-christians to attack you but
you don't expect Christians to. it is human nature to react in anger and
defensiveness. so give yourself a little grace if you have reacted that way in
the past and if you were to act that way in the future. know that when we are
attacked we want to defend ourselves and a lot of times our spouses want to
defend us as well. have you ever received so much criticism that you are frozen in
place? you can't move forward? you're scared to change anything in your
ministry setting because of this fear that another group of people is gonna be
upset with you so then you just end up not doing anything at all? you just keep
your programs/ your events just stagnant because you're scared to move forward. has
that ever happened to anybody else because it has happened to me multiple times.
Vanessa Myers suggests that the key to getting over our fear of criticism is to
forgive and love others. now I wish she 'd said a little bit more about this. like
given some practical steps of how we can forgive and love others because I agree
that we do need to forgive and love others. but it's hard. how do we do that?
how do we forgive and move on? you know forgiving mistakes and forgiveness takes
hard conversations with people. often times I like to bring in a third neutral
party -kind of a mediator- to help with the discussion. it also takes a lot of
Prayer. you know how often we're getting those critical words and we don't have
time to stop and say God help me through the situation. help me hear this person.
help me listen past their critical words to the truth that underlies their
criticism. because there's always a truth there right? if instead of reacting in
anger and defensiveness if we could listen to make sure that we validate
what the other person is saying even if the words are critical. it's important
for us to listen to what they are saying and that they know that we are hearing
them. Vanessa also proposes to allow God to be our shield. and I think that this
is a great way to get past the fear of criticism. again I wish she had given us
some practical tools. like how does God act as a shield for us? we don't want no
criticism at all. if we're not receiving any criticism for
our ministry then we're doing something wrong. we're stagnant in our faith.
I think criticism is a sign that we are a good leader- you know -that we are doing
something that is moving the church forward. if we're not receiving criticism
then we are stagnant in our ministry. I agree that God can be our shield and
kind of help us filter those criticisms. Vanessa says "don't let the fear you fuel
of criticism keep you from serving God." criticism of our job -of our ministry-
will always exist. and I think if we have a passion for serving God -for serving
Christ- then criticism will be there and that's a sign of a healthy -believe it or
not -I believe that's a sign of a healthy ministry is if criticism exists.
but it's still hard right? it still hurts. it still cuts into us deep. and so we've
got to somehow take that criticism, find the truth in it, be in constant
communication with God and with the people who are being critical of us in
order to continue to grow our ministry. how we respond to our fear of criticism
by not letting it paralyze us is how we overcome fear. please leave a comment
down below of what is one of your fears in ministry and that will enter you into
the giveaway to win a free copy of Vanessa's book Rise Up that she will
send to you. all the details for this giveaway will be in
the description box down below so make sure to read those carefully. because I
also need you to leave a comment over on the prayerlights Facebook page which
will be linked down below. that way it's easier for me to contact the winner. this
video is part of a blog book tour- as part of the book tour -so that you make
sure to go to the next stop in the book tour it's gonna be Dede Reilly's
children's ministry blog. I will leave her blog linked in the description box
as well for you to check out. so just in case you don't win this book from mine
you can go over and visit her blog next week for a chance to win this book again.
alright thanks you guys so much for watching and I will see you in my next
video. bye!
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