How do you deal with rejection?
That's a really tough subject, but let's talk about that today.
Hi there, I'm Angela Brown and this is Ask a House Cleaner.
This is the show where you get to ask a house cleaning question
and I get to help you find an answer.
Now, today's show is brought to us by MyCleaningConnection.com
That is a resource hub for house cleaners and house cleaning business owners and then
also do it yourself cleaners who want to find the resources
that will help them clean their house.
There is, however, a section on there, in the resource section,
that is on how your mind works.
So if you have rejection and you don't like confrontation, and you don't like people giving
you complaints and saying that your work is bad and all these things you can find some
resources on there on how to up your game.
So MyCleaningConnection.com, I do recommend that you check it out.
All right, on to today's show, which is from a house cleaner who writes in and says,
"I keep getting complaints and I don't mind fixing the complaints.
I don't mind the satisfaction guarantee.
But I get my feelings hurt so bad everything that I cry for days and then I
don't want to ever want to face the customer again.
So what do I do?"
All right, that's a really tough question.
It's a fair question, for this reason, there are a whole bunch of house cleaners who get
involved in the house cleaning business, because number one, we're good at cleaning, number
2, we're people-pleasers.
We want to help other people.
We want to please them.
We want to make them happy and then they go, "Oh, you did not make us happy," and then
we want to cry on the inside, "I tried so hard."
Okay, I get that.
I get that.
I totally understand that, so first of, all I want to tell you that you are a very good
person, and it's great that you're a people-pleaser, because it's going to make you an excellent
house cleaner.
Now, having said that, there is a particular way that your mind works and we, as humans,
have control over how our minds work.
So, if your house cleaning every day it's often times you're in a house by yourself,
there's no one else around and it's you.
Whatever those tapes are that are playing in your head, that comes from you.
That comes from your unconscious mind and so there's a tendency, I'm not saying you
do this, but there's a tendency to replay those negative complaints over and over and
over in our minds.
Somehow, we wish that we would've said something differently or that we would've handled the
situation differently.
If you use that time constructively you can come up with new ideas and word tracks and
things you will say next time if this ever happens again,
but if you're just using this information to make yourself feel bad
and to pound yourself in the ground, I'm going to ask you to stop,
because it's not constructive,
and it doesn't help your customer, and it doesn't help you.
So see, nobody wins.
Now, if you're really a people-pleaser what you have to consider is that pleasing you
also goes into that equation.
You got to please yourself first, all right?
Now, here's how this works.
The tapes that we're playing on in our head might be broken tapes.
They might be tapes that we picked up with little bits of information from our parents
or our relatives or somebody else's relatives or friends or somebody that we respected in
a younger or previous time.
We respected somebody, and they beat us down, and we got shamed and now we feel bad and
now we play those broken tapes over and over again.
Those tapes are words that came from someone else.
It does make them true.
Now, having said that if you keep playing those tapes what happens is you internalize
those tapes is you make them true, okay?
They're not true, to begin with, they're just words, someone else gave us these words, and
we're, "I don't think so, that doesn't fit in my life anymore, moving on."
And you can erase those from your life, they don't belong to you anymore.
They belong to that person, give them back, and I don't mean tell them, I just mean get
rid of them.
All right, now, having said that, to reprogram your mind there's a very conscious effort
of what I want you to do.
I want you to sit down at your computer or sit down at your cell phone, where ever you
take notes, and I want you to write out the notes in your word document or your notepad
or whatever you use to take notes on.
I want you to restructure everything in your life.
Break it down to health and wellness and customers and your job and success and how you feel
about life and your level of energy and if you have diseases, erase your diseases with
affirmations.
And, they're positive affirmations that act as if you already accomplished this.
"I've already accomplished perfect health.
I've already gotten rid of." and you can erase things, like lethargy and depression and anxiety
and frustration and hating someone or whatever.
You can act as if you've already overcome this stuff.
Now, in the beginning, there won't be anything that says that's true, okay, but what we're
doing is we're changing the tape.
So if you're going to play a broken tape in your head that says, "Aw, this person hates
me," or you play a tape that says, "Man, I feel fantastic today," which do you want to
reinforce in your mind?
I want the one that says, "Man, I feel fantastic, and my body is working properly and everything
is functioning exactly as it's designed to do.
And, I wake up in the morning with a burst of energy and I'm ready to take on my day,
because I have the most amazing customers and my customers love me and they love the
work that I do."
Do you see where I'm headed with this?
You put it in a phraseology as if you have already accomplished this stuff.
Now, there is, on your cell phone, there is an App, it's called RODE Rec, it's actually,
here's a small secret, a behind-scenes-secret, it's how I'm recording this show right now.
I have a microphone on my shirt and it leads down through my shirt through a little back
belt loop and it comes out to a cell phone that's in my pocket and on my pocket is this
App, it's called RODE Rec, so it connects to this microphone, but you could use ones
that have the earbuds and then the little microphone right here, that works just as well.
I just didn't use it for this, because then that would look weird and then you know, hey,
but you can use microphone earbud thing that you already have, plug it in.
The App cost $4.99.
It is one of the best Apps you'll ever buy and here's why it's a recording system.
It's a recording system and you can sit down for an hour, if you want.
You can record all of your affirmations.
My suggestion is break down every area of your life.
Do it for your relationships, do it for friends, do it for the toxic people in your life that
you're not getting along with.
If you have aches and pains and ailments and disease, reframe the way that you think about
those and make a tape.
Make a tape once you have written everything down as if it's already happened.
Then read it.
And as you read it, my suggestion is don't read it in a really excited state of mind
like, "Oh, my gosh, you're not going to believe what happened today."
Read it in a calm, monotone type of voice, because I want you to listen to it while you're
sleeping at night.
As you go to bed every night, put your earbuds in and turn that tape on, because once you've
recorded it you can replay it as many times as you want.
You just save it as an MP3 file, you can either transfer it to iTunes or you can just keep
it as a regular file on your phone.
But, everything you listen to that it can be playing in the background.
Now, your unconscious mind is listening, right?
It picks up on advertisements, it picks up on things around us, it picks up as we're
driving on the road.
If a deer or a dog darts out in front of us, it picks up on all those things.
The unconsciousness mind is constantly aware of everything that's going on around us and
it brings to us into focus, to our conscious mind things that we need to know.
Our unconscious mind is making decisions about what we need to know on a conscious basis.
So, if you start reprogramming your unconscious mind and you start adding all these things
what happens is your unconscious mind goes on a journey and it starts looking for those
things and it starts coming to make those things true for you.
So instead of being depressed and discouraged and frustrated and thin-skinned and you're
angry because your customers rejected you and you thought you did a great job, reframe
all of that.
It's true, maybe the customers didn't like the work you did and whatever, I don't know.
I'm sure it was an isolated incident.
You're probably an excellent house cleaner, but what we want to know is this, you are
spectacular at house cleaning, you are amazing and now, your customers are going to recognize
the amazingness of your house cleaning.
So as you reframe that and you start listening to those tapes, and if nobody's in the house
and they don't care listen to it all day while you're cleaning I don't care how many times
you listen to it, but the more you listen to it the more ingrained it becomes in your
mind, and then it becomes true for you.
And then one day instead of waking up and going, "I'm nobody, I don't know what I did
wrong with my life.
Why am I here?"
You're going to wake up and go, "Oh, my gosh, I can't believe how much I've accomplished
this year, based on the goals that I set for myself."
And so it's true that you have control.
I hate the fact that there is rejection, but the house cleaning business is full of it.
It is full of rejection.
We get it from our staff, we get it from our customers, we get it from our spouses and
then worst of all, we get it from ourselves, but ourselves part you have control over.
All right, so I want you to invest $4.99 in the RODE Rec App, I do not make a dime off
of that, they're not an affiliate in any way, it's just something I strongly believe in
and I've been using tapes like this, for myself, for years and I can't tell you how fabulously
they work.
All right, so from me to you this is a turning point for you.
I want you to take the time to do it, it's not an easy task,
but it will absolutely revolutionize your life.
All right, until we meet again,
leave the world a cleaner place than when you found it.
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